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Family Members Coping with AD
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Posted: Thursday, January 5, 2012 6:06 PM
Joined: 1/14/2015
Posts: 40463

Originally posted by: AFREY

My mother was diagnosed with AD six months before I noticed something was wrong. When I took her to her doctors apptmnt. to inform her doctor of her behavior I was informed that she had been diagnosed six months earlier, I was shocked and frightened. My mother is 70 she has
9 girls and 2 boys, 27 grandkids, 32 great grankids. She has lived a long and hard life and I want to give her all the support I can. I am 38 the yongest of her children, this is all new to me I have never been in a chat room or on a message board. But I want to help my mom and my family by doing all i can to find and get information regarding Alzheimers. I have learned so much in the last three months. I have already got her living will, durable power of attorney, put my name on her checking account and now planning for the future. But I feel like I'm missing something. I have talked with my mother about Alzheimers giving her facts and joking with her so she would some what feel comfortable talking about it. Now she tells everybody she's allowed to forget some things because she has AD where before she would not even talk about it. I hope I am going in the right direction?
Posted: Thursday, January 5, 2012 6:06 PM
Originally posted by: msdaughter

HI and Welcome,
Good for you! You have been able to jump on the wagon and do everything you can for your mom. Unlike your mom, my mom has never talked to me or anyone about her diagnoses, although, she knows through my dad that I Know. it makes it hard. I can also recomend the book 36 hour day, it is great. My mom was diagnosed a year ago after 3 -4 years of my noticing symptoms. Neither she or my dad would admit anything was really wrong. I too read everything I could get my hands on. The only thing I could tell you different than what you are already doing is to spend time, say the things you want and need to say to your mom, ask the family history questions, live in the moment and enjoy and savor every bit of time that you have with your mom now. I have spent more quality time with my mom in the last year than I have in the past ten. We have laughed and cried and become closer than we ever have been. I don't take her preseence for granted. She is only 69.
I am pretty new to the message boards also.
Good Luck and see you around.
joni -caifornia
Posted: Thursday, January 5, 2012 6:06 PM
Originally posted by: Stephanie S.

Brand new to this forum, but I need contact with others caring for relatives with AD. A book I found very helpful, after a lot of searching through others that weren't quite right, is Alzheimer's Early Stages, First Steps for Family, Friends, and Caregivers by Daniel Kuhn, MSW. I know about what lies ahead down the road, but this book was really good about what is changing right now for someone in the early stage of the disease and it has good notes and resources. Good luck.
Posted: Thursday, January 5, 2012 6:06 PM
Originally posted by: super_K

Hi, all.... I'm relatively new to the board as well. We recently found about that my father-in-law has AD. I've "known" for about 1-1/2 yeras that something was "different." The suggestions you've all given are EXCELLENT! My hubby is not really dealing with the diagnosis, so when he's ready, these tips will be AWESOME for him. Thanks and many blessings to all....

K --
Posted: Thursday, January 5, 2012 6:06 PM
Originally posted by: ButterflyT

It is very hard to hear all the stages of AD. My mom is in the 1-2 stage, but this is on a 1 thru 4 stage. Some people say their family members are in the 7th stage. Mom doesn't get a 7th stage, so this is so very confusing when trying to find the information in books and while passing it on to family members. (we are a large family) and I have MPOA. I'm never sure what to look for, and there are times that mom is fine. Yesterday she was locked out of her apartment because she refuses to lock the door (she can't use the key) and they had come in to add salt to her water softener. She was so perplexed that I couldn't help but feel very sorry for her. She states that she's allowed to forget because she's 84. She refuses to take the Namenda, which was working great. She lives on her own, and she is not declared incompetant, so it's her choice, but I don't think I'll ever know when to step in and take over. Thanks so much, Alz. Assoc., for this website, which I didn't know existed until a few hours ago. Maybe someone out there can help me understand when to step in. Her doctor is great, and he has a home health care worker coming in once every 2 weeks, but mom can fool them sometimes to the point that they don't see what I see.
Posted: Thursday, January 5, 2012 6:06 PM
Originally posted by: grandmaann


WELCOME! I too am fairly new to the message boards although I have dealt wiht this for a few years now. One thing I have learned from here is the need to carry the DNR with you if that is your choice to have ..My mom had one down several years ago (she is 89 now) it was her decision while watching her siblings and parents. But if not with you they dont honor it .

A book I found from here 36 Hour Day is the best thing I have found to get info and to understand what is going on. It also gives ideas for the next steps.

The brain tour on this website has been helpful to know what is goin on in there

One step at a time to learn and use what works for you! I know many others on this board can give you kinds of info

God Bless