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Sneaking out of the house....
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Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:41 PM
Joined: 1/14/2015
Posts: 40463

Originally posted by: Jenifer

My Dad has early onset dementia- probably Frontal Lobe Dementia. He is extremely social and wants to engage with the neighbors in the neighborhood. He has alienated most of them at this point and he senses that, which in turn causes him to try even harder to be their friends.

My Mom goes to bed earlier than him because she is exhausted with taking care of him. Lately, he has started leaving the home after she goes to bed. He is not in jeopardy of getting lost at this point because he is still aware of his address and they live in a small culdasack area. He also has a GPS bracelet.

Short of installing alarms on the door- which will only wake my Mom up and stress her out more than she is, is there anything to be done? We have had the police talk to him about the inappropriateness of bothering the neighbors, the neighbors have spoken to him... we don't know what to do at this point.

Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:41 PM
Originally posted by: Jezza

A locked door may not help because he knows where the lock is, but a second lock may. I've heard of people adding a deadbolt above or below where the existing locks are and painting it to match the door. It's never noticed, so the door stays safely locked. With back yard gates locked also, he'll hopefully give up and find something else to do. Sliding latches at the top and bottom would probably work well also.

I think people wander because it provides stimulus to an otherwise very blank mind. We shouldn't prohibit this, just direct it, because it's a very common and very natural method of coping with this disease. I think safe and secure boundaries are the way to go. Let him wander all night, and he'll be less work during the day!
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:41 PM
Originally posted by: SnowyLynne

Put locks on the doors at nite so he can't get out.OR hire someone.........
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:41 PM
Originally posted by: Mama's Friend

Snowy has it right.
Alarms did not work for me, they just made me uptight and watchful.

"Talking to him" will not work either. His remberer is broken.

I locked the front door at night, I had the key up on a nail, high up near the door frame. My mother never looked up. The back dorr was unlocked and if mom got out she could only go onto the back yard, which was fenced. The gate was locked.

Some people may disagree with mother wandered at night. I could never have gotten any sleep otherwise- and AT LEAST I knew she was safe in the home. I decided to lock the doors when i found her in the middle of the cul-de-sac street at 4 am, sitting on the street, freezing, weeping. Someone who walks around disoriented is a danger to him/herself, and perhaps others.

Your mom needs the rest. And the last thing you need is a friendly person with dementia getting shot while trying to be sociable in the middle of the night.