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Did I do the right thing????
Internal Administrator
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:42 PM
Joined: 1/14/2015
Posts: 40463

Originally posted by: daughterofalzheimer's

I question myself EVERY DAY, did I do the right thing for my father...He was living alone in his own home 500 miles away from me, with care givers coming in to assist him...The care givers were awful, they constantly stole money and things from his home...I could never prove anything or even do anything being 500 miles away...He was getting worse and very combative with his care givers and his doctor ordered him to no longer live alone...I moved him, less than a week ago, to an assisted living facility 10 min from house...I have been over there every night, because I know the transition is not going to be easy on him and it hasn’t...I am trying to make him feel as comfortable as possible...I go over in the evening after work and during lunch when I can...My father is becoming very combative, actually hit someone today at his assisted living facility while eating breakfast...I don't know what to do...I am trying to treat him with dignity and respect, because he is my father and deserves that but he so wants to go home and I don't know what to tell him...He doesn't have that option any longer...I want him to be comfortable and unafraid but I really do not know how to deal with someone with dementia...When I try to reason and talk to him, he yells at me, cusses like a sailor and gets so angry…I try so hard to keep it together and tell myself, this isn’t the same person he used to be but I want to make sure I did the right thing…Please advise...Any words would be helpful!
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:42 PM
Originally posted by: Alphawave

Dear daughter
My heart truly goes ou to you. i have had front lobe dementia for a few years and my poor wife is always telling me i am rude and abusive especially when tired. This always hurts and embarresses as i dont know im doing it.
The only thing i may be able to help you with is to say that i believe deep inside your dad he appreciates and NEEDS you more ever. The person you remember is still in there and love you he just has lost the tools to communiate to you. I promise you from my own experience that every moment you are with him is precious to him evan though his external actions dont show it. as far the combative stuff i understand that i get that way too its not that we want to its like someone replaced our social interaction with a foriegn language. I wish i could send you strength and love with this message but i bet you are and have both already in you and your father is lucky to have you
Bless you