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Took the leap. Getting housecleaning help.
KawKaw
Posted: Thursday, September 24, 2020 1:19 PM
Joined: 11/22/2019
Posts: 335


I got terribly behind in housework while taking care of my mother with dementia.

And I have been unable to catch up.  Not only is motivation difficult, my hands aren't working well.

So, I took the leap and am arranging someone to come do a deep cleaning for me.

Though I dislike spending money on something I feel is my contribution to my household, I simply cannot catch up and it is distressing enough that it is distracting me.

I am choosing to perceive this as one of those things I simply need help with and let it go.


Michael Ellenbogen
Posted: Thursday, September 24, 2020 1:42 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 3500


If you can afford it there is nothing wrong with doing that.

 

I also hate to pay people for things I use to be able to do. The worst part I use to do it better then those I now pay and that is the most frustrating part.

 

I also have issues doing any projects and I need to break them out in 15 minute intervals and that seems to work better for me for the ones I can still do. 


Iris L.
Posted: Thursday, September 24, 2020 9:58 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 16647


For me, being a Dementia Pioneer means being proactive instead of reactive.  This means accepting that I will need help in different areas at different times.  I have used help from other people at various times in the past to help me in the home.  KawKaw, go right ahead and get the help you need!  Do not, for one minute, feel bad about it!

 

Right now, I am using systems to assist myself.  I am using the Flylady system.  A major concept that I learned from the members here is that I have to simplify my home and automate as much as possible.  I have to accommodate my home to meet my needs.  If I simplify and automate and accommodate, I can maintain my ability to live on my own in my own home.  This is so important!  I learned this from other PWD members and from caregiver members.

 

I will do what I have to do.  This is my priority!


Iris


Jo C.
Posted: Friday, September 25, 2020 1:09 PM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 11360


Good for you, KawKaw; that will undoubtedly be very helpful and a relief.

 Did you hire someone privately or are you using a service?  

 I too am wondering about someone to assist; we have a large two story house and I have painful arthritis and with the large downstairs plus four bedrooms and three bathrooms and a stairwell, it is becoming a real problem.

 Smiling in that I have even begun watching commercials for robot vacuum cleaners.   They are dreadfully expensive and I just wonder how good or problematic they really are; and then there are such different types.  Oh; fuss and bother.

J.


Michael Ellenbogen
Posted: Friday, September 25, 2020 1:19 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 3500


My wife is getting a robot vacuum cleaner in the new house and I will have one to do the lawn. 


KawKaw
Posted: Friday, September 25, 2020 5:52 PM
Joined: 11/22/2019
Posts: 335


I hired a local crew through a small business.

They will have 5 people here for 1-1.5 hours.  It is very reasonable, too.
I am not looking forward to having strangers in my living space, but the relief of knowing I will get all this done at once balances that out.  

It has been like stringing beads without a knot at the end of my thread.

I hope this helps tie that knot.


Jo C.
Posted: Friday, September 25, 2020 9:50 PM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 11360


KawKaw, That sounds great . . . . just one precaution:

Be SURE the workers are all wearing masks from the time they step on your porch to the after they leave your house and be sure you are wearing your mask too as should anyone else in the house; even your mother if that can be done..  AND be sure that the masks are covering the workers and everyone elses noses as well as their mouths.

If weather permits it, also have some windows and any screened doors open in any room having work done, and leave them open for a period of time after they leave; this will help any virus to dissipate.  
 
 In fact, I just, a few minutes ago, saw a detailed writing regarding when one should wear masks inside their home.  Here is the link:

 https://www.yahoo.com/news/experts-2-times-wear-mask-192641147.html

You will feel SO good when the work is done.  How nice it will be to sit down and enjoy your sparkling spiffed up home.  Let us know how it goes, we will be waiting to hear.

J.


KawKaw
Posted: Saturday, September 26, 2020 6:42 PM
Joined: 11/22/2019
Posts: 335


Excellent remind, Jo C.  Thank you!
Jo C.
Posted: Sunday, September 27, 2020 11:23 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 11360


They will probably come with masks and even shoe covers; some of them actually wear full cover disposable suits and head covers.   So; it will be interesting to see how great a job they do for you.  Let us know, it really sounds exciting.

J.


zauberflote
Posted: Wednesday, October 7, 2020 8:22 PM
Joined: 10/24/2018
Posts: 1313


Michael, there is an old Jerry Lewis movie that has a scene where he's being chased by a robot lawn mower. Yours won't do that thank goodness, but thank you for making me remember how my dad loved Jerry Lewis and would take us to all the movies that came to town!
KawKaw
Posted: Thursday, October 8, 2020 6:50 PM
Joined: 11/22/2019
Posts: 335


The day is finally arriving tomorrow then the cleaning crew will come and clean my place.

It has been a long time coming, though really just a couple weeks at most.

Shame is strong.  I am ashamed at the state of my living situation.

It could be much worse, but it is bad enough that I cringe to think of what the crew will think of a woman who cannot keep her home clean.

However, I am not going to allow my shame to stop me getting the help I need.  And I NEED this.

It might be painful for a few hours, but the relief at having my entire house clean at one time, not not be chasing chore after chore and never catching up--it will be worth it.

And I think I can keep it up from there.  

And pack.  And move.  And start over in a new town and community.  Whew.  I have so much to do.

But tomorrow is a start toward succeeding in making the necessary changes.

 


Michael Ellenbogen
Posted: Friday, October 9, 2020 9:07 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 3500


 It maybe funny as to see what the dog will do. 


Michael Ellenbogen
Posted: Friday, October 9, 2020 9:13 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 3500


KawKaw - feel the same way on how my house was (SHAME) and it is slowly getting better and I am thankful I have to move which has forced me to do all this. I have now been at it for 6 months and it still needs lot of work but its looking a lot better . 


Jo C.
Posted: Friday, October 9, 2020 2:16 PM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 11360


So today is THE day; so hope the cleaning crew does a good job for you; let us know how it goes, we will be thinking of you.

J.


Iris L.
Posted: Friday, October 9, 2020 5:20 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 16647


Good for you, KawKaw!  You will feel so much better when things are in order.  Try not to feel shame.  If you could do better, you would do better.  You have a serious disability.  You need accommodations.  This is not shameful!  


Iris


KawKaw
Posted: Saturday, October 10, 2020 10:50 AM
Joined: 11/22/2019
Posts: 335


Thank you all for the encouragement and reframing of the concept of getting this kind of assistance.

They did a great job.  I even got both of the dog's kennels scrubbed out on the patio myself while the team was working inside.

I feel human again.  It was worth it, in money and energy.  It was exhausting having people in my living space.

Very much worth it.

Now I feel I have more energy for packing and arranging our move.

Be well, all.