RSS Feed Print
The Next Phase
chrisp1653
Posted: Friday, March 12, 2021 5:48 PM
Joined: 1/23/2017
Posts: 1307


Well , well. This coming Monday, March 15, 2021, Barbara's ashes and I will be taking a trip to the Oregon coast - Umpqua Lighthouse State Park in Winchester Bay, to be exact. Sometime during the 2 days following our arrival, I will scatter her ashes into some quiet place on the water. If the wind is blowing ( as it usually is, ) part of her will make it to the water, part of her will blow back onto beach, and part of her will blow all over me.

This is fully fitting, since I know how much she loved the ocean , how much she loved the beach, and how much she loved me.

As a treat to myself, ( if it's open, ) I'll stop in to BJ's Ice Cream Parlor and have a scoop or two of their thoroughly delicious ice cream. This is also fully fitting, since Barbara always enjoyed  their ice cream .

I took care of a cooling system issue on the car, and changed the oil, so I think we'll be ready to head out on Monday morning.

As an aside to Army_Vet60, if you're reading this, you should be aware that I will also be taking Butter Bear, Pinkie, Ike, Chrispian, and Puddin'.


Army_Vet60
Posted: Friday, March 12, 2021 10:42 PM
Joined: 6/21/2019
Posts: 997


Hi chrisp1653,

I'm happy to read that you're taking the family with you! I wish Little Bear wasn't an only child.

Just a suggestion, but have you considered keeping a little bit of your wife's ashes with you?

I had my wife's ashes interred in a wall at a military cemetery, but I also had a customized locket made. It's a yin/yang design with our thumb prints side by side. Her print has a green (her eye color) teardrop with a sample of her ashes in it. I wear it around my neck.

It gives me great comfort having her still with me physically that way.

Just something to consider....


ladyzetta
Posted: Saturday, March 13, 2021 10:32 AM
Joined: 2/16/2017
Posts: 1497


What a sweet thing you guys are doing or have done. Your wives will be with you forever. 

 Chrisp.   Winchester Bay is one of my favorite places. I live in Oregon and have spent a lot of time there in my younger years. My favorite thing to do was to walk out on the jetty. We would stay in  the little motel close to where the boats would come in with their fish. I miss Winchester Bay.  Barbara will forever be in  your heart and Winchester Bay. Enjoy your ice cream and give all the teddies a hug.

Army,   I also kept part of my DH ashes. I have them in a small little urn. I placed his ashes on the deserts, part in Oregon and part in Wyoming. He was a hunter and loved the outdoors. He spent a lot of time arrow hunting in the places I placed his ashes. I bet the locket your DW is in is beautiful. Give Little Bear a hug for me.

Chrisp and Army, Your wives are very beautiful.  Hugs Zetta 


Army_Vet60
Posted: Saturday, March 13, 2021 1:07 PM
Joined: 6/21/2019
Posts: 997


ladyzetta wrote:

Army,   I also kept part of my DH ashes. I have them in a small little urn. I placed his ashes on the deserts, part in Oregon and part in Wyoming. He was a hunter and loved the outdoors. He spent a lot of time arrow hunting in the places I placed his ashes. I bet the locket your DW is in is beautiful. Give Little Bear a hug for me.

Chrisp and Army, Your wives are very beautiful.  Hugs Zetta 

 
 

I like what you did with your husband's ashes. I did a similar thing with my father's ashes.

My daughters and I took them into the woods on Ft Meade where I was stationed. We found a tree on a ridge. Below were a number of deer grazing. We spread his ashes around the tree and watched the deer for a while. We thought he would like this view for a resting place.
 
I sent a photo of the neckless as an attachment. On the reverse side is the engravement 
"TOGETHER FOREVER".
 
Thank you for complimenting Sandy. She is the most beautiful human being I'll have known this lifetime.
 
 

File Attachment(s):
necklace.jpg (140429 bytes)

ladyzetta
Posted: Saturday, March 13, 2021 1:36 PM
Joined: 2/16/2017
Posts: 1497


That is Beautiful. Are her ashes in the see thru part?
Army_Vet60
Posted: Saturday, March 13, 2021 1:48 PM
Joined: 6/21/2019
Posts: 997


ladyzetta wrote:
That is Beautiful. Are her ashes in the see thru part?
Yes, they're in the green tear drop. Sandy had green eyes.

chrisp1653
Posted: Saturday, March 13, 2021 11:57 PM
Joined: 1/23/2017
Posts: 1307


Army_Vet, you and Zetta are making me reconsider. Perhaps I will hold back a bit of  Barbara's ashes. I'm not sure what I'll do with them at this point, but for sure there will still be plenty to scatter. That locket you have is a real beauty !

Tomorrow I get my first Covid vaccine, and by the evening I will have all my stuff packed and ready to put in the car on Monday morning.

One further note - I got some new strings for my old guitar, so the evenings should be fun .


ladyzetta
Posted: Sunday, March 14, 2021 10:28 AM
Joined: 2/16/2017
Posts: 1497


Dear Chrisp.

Have a safe trip tomorrow and I hope you will have nice weather.

I really like the locket that Army has for Sandy, it is so pretty and very special.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow, Hugs Zetta 


dutiful deb
Posted: Sunday, March 14, 2021 11:49 PM
Joined: 1/1/2012
Posts: 1898


Hi, Chrisp, 

Another west coaster here wishing you well on your trip.  You have chosen a beautiful area, and I love your idea of eating ice cream at BJ's as a tribute to your wife.  Here's hoping they are open! 

Praying for you, as you make this journey. 


chrisp1653
Posted: Thursday, March 18, 2021 9:49 PM
Joined: 1/23/2017
Posts: 1307


The wanderer returns. There's an old Irish blessing that reads, in part,

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

I would like to add the following : 

May the rain always wait until you have broken camp.

It was sunny and cold in Winchester Bay, but glorious,, none the less. The wind blowing off the ocean, however made ash scattering a non-starter. So, after asking Barbara's permission, I scattered the bulk of her ashes in lovely Lake Marie, and shortly thereafter, I watched a family of ducks paddling nearby. This was noteworthy because up to that point, I had never seen anything on the surface of that lake.

I did save some of her ashes, but for the moment, they are just in a small bag until I can find something appropriate.

As you all might have guessed, the rain most assuredly did not wait until I could load the car, and from about 5am this morning until at least after I was gone, the rain was pouring.

Ah well, it is Oregon, after all, and what else could we expect ?


Army_Vet60
Posted: Sunday, March 21, 2021 3:03 PM
Joined: 6/21/2019
Posts: 997


chrisp1653 wrote:

 

It was sunny and cold in Winchester Bay, but glorious,, none the less. The wind blowing off the ocean, however made ash scattering a non-starter. So, after asking Barbara's permission, I scattered the bulk of her ashes in lovely Lake Marie, and shortly thereafter, I watched a family of ducks paddling nearby. This was noteworthy because up to that point, I had never seen anything on the surface of that lake.

 

 
 

Chris, those ducks may have been a message to you from your wife.

 
My ex-wife is Korean. When we married in Seoul, her family gave us wood carved Ducks. My wife explained that Ducks only mate once for life. The duck gifts symbolized our bond for life.
 
My ex-wife broke that bond, but I kept the ducks. Seven months after our divorce, I met Sandy!  Those ducks were at our bedside from the first day of our marriage to the day she died. They're still on Sandy's dresser.

 

It is odd you've never seen a single duck on that lake until you asked Barbara's permission to make it her resting place.  Barbara may have sent those ducks to seal your eternal bond with her.  

 

That's just my perspective, but Sandy has sent me enough signs when I needed one to believe in it now.


chrisp1653
Posted: Wednesday, March 24, 2021 2:37 PM
Joined: 1/23/2017
Posts: 1307


Army_Vet, your response made me remember an episode of The West Wing, in which presidential hopeful Matt Santos - played wonderfully by Jimmy Smits - is talking with some of his constituents . He gets kind of boxed in, and has to talk about faith, and he delivers this speech, which I have always loved :

Santos: And I'm here to tell you that hope is real. In a life of trials, in the world of challenges, hope is real. In a country where families go without health care, where some go without food, some don't even have a home to speak of, hope is real. In a time of global chaos and instability where our faiths collide as often as our weapons, hope is real. Hope is what gives us the courage to take on our greatest challenges, to move forward together. We live in cynical times, I know that. But hope is not up for debate. There is such a thing as false science, there is such a thing as false promises, and I am sure I will have my share of false starts. But there is no such thing as false hope. There is only hope.

Hope is what keeps us going. You just keep on believing, Army_Vet, and I will too.

Ducks - whoda thunk ?


chrisp1653
Posted: Wednesday, March 24, 2021 2:40 PM
Joined: 1/23/2017
Posts: 1307


One more thing. The BJ's Ice Cream in Winchester was closed for the season, but when I drove up the coast highway to Florence, the main store was open. I had some ice cream twice, on different days.

I know Barbara was there with me, and enjoying it too.


dutiful deb
Posted: Wednesday, March 24, 2021 11:02 PM
Joined: 1/1/2012
Posts: 1898


I'm glad you got your BJ's ice cream! Last time we were there, it seems like BJ's was closed, but we were able to get  root beer floats at DQ from the car.  Not much of a runner up, but still fun.   We also can't go to the coast without stopping at Robert's Bookshop in Lincoln City. That place is amazing!  

 


chrisp1653
Posted: Thursday, March 25, 2021 10:50 PM
Joined: 1/23/2017
Posts: 1307


Hi Deb.

Barbara and I used to go spend time in Uncle Egg's Bookshop right on the highway in Lincoln city - until he went out of business.  I'm not familiar with Robert's. Something for me to look forward to !