Someone posted about their sadness over a LO with dementia. Several members commented. I think we all deal with an enormous amount of grief because this disease takes so much away from us in every way, physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually. One person said grief has a life of it's own and another said it just will not let you forget what you have lost. Those words resonate within me. 

I feel as if I am outside of my body, floating through and amongst a vastness of hollowness and sorrow. Will I ever be grounded again?

I have said, on occasion, that grief   has a life of it's own. My husband has been dead over 5 years and I still have moments of grief that are physically painful....moments where I can barely breath.

Thankfully these moments are rare....usually the grief simply walks beside me...quietly...not affecting my daily life.

Dear Judith, you were one of the people who commented on the original thread that got me thinking about it. What you said really spoke to my heart and I thank you.

Merry Christmas my friend!

For me, I've given up on ever feeling whole again. I need to stay alive until my DW no longer needs me to visit, and my cats are waiting for me at the Rainbow Bridge. I often fanaticize about getting a terminal diagnosis, not with fear and anger, but acceptance and relief.  I can appreciate Robert Louis Stevenson's "Requiem": "...Glad did I live, and Gladly I die, And I lay me down with a will."

I've come to realize, at least for me, that grief is just a process of saying goodbye to the life and loves God has given me. My grief wouldn't be as great unless I also was given a great life to say goodbye to. The grief I'm feeling is just gratitude to God for all the gifts I've enjoyed. There comes a time to put away the ball and glove and head home when there is on one left around to play with. The peace promised me in eternity is the only peace I expect to see. That's OK.