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Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 18707
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A crisis is usually the time when a person has to bring in help. But I have no help. I must rely on my own devices. I make use of the incredible information and advice I have learned on the boards from the older members. I fall back on my philosophy of living with dementia, that I learned a few years ago when I was in a deep depression. It's very difficult. But I persevere.
Iris L.
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Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3608
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Iris - wish I was a neighbor, and in good shape because I would love to be of help to you.
You seem to be handling some thing new, or more difficult, on your own and are able to invent ways to help yourself but it sounds hard.
love you very much
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Joined: 6/3/2013
Posts: 1273
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Iris - how are you doing?
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Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 18707
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Thank you for asking, Marta. After a long while, I can finally see some light at the end of the tunnel. I thought I was in a permanent decline. But things seem to be turning around, finally. Yesterday was a good day. I have been resting and recuperating. I also discovered that I was lacking sunlight and lacking nutrients, because I was not eating well. I purchased a light box and I have been using it in the mornings. I got back on my nutritional supplements. I am sleeping better. I am working on avoiding stressors and seeking positivity. Slowly, I am edging my life back from the standstill Crisis. Fortunately, because the way I was before, I was heading for a disaster.
Iris L.
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Joined: 8/22/2016
Posts: 263
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Iris, Glad to hear that you have found ways to reinvigorate yourself. I use a day light box too, but forgot to do do it for the past few days. You reminded me. It does help with sleep. Another thing I use is the Fisher Wallace Stimulator. You might benefit from that too. It is recommended for depression/anxiety/insomnia. Google it.
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Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 18707
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Canada, I had never heard of the Fisher Wallace Stimulator before. I looked at the website and it looks interesting. I'm going to learn more about it. Thank you for bringing this up.
Iris L.
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Joined: 6/3/2013
Posts: 1273
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I am so glad things have turned around for the better.
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Joined: 4/6/2014
Posts: 703
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I always look forward to your informative post. Take care
Don
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Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3608
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Iris - so happy to read of your progress and on your own.
Do you think we can add your methods to list of things we can all watch for after a bout with illnesses that come and go? I mean that you did not panic, you rested, you gave your body time, and that supplements during and after these illnesses can make the turning point come a little faster.
every time I had shingles or something that it was permanent, and when the condition healed up I was so tired, weak, and not able to think as well. Always assumed it was permanent.
Your posts in past month or so have seemed very quiet, glad you are on the mend again.
much love and thank you for letting us know you are doing better.
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Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4408
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Iris,
Going it alone is not easy. I know. Needing to rest more and more. Making life simple...staying out of Walmart and ordering online. $35 gets you free shipping. Will let Roomba vacuum and shine my sinks this weekend. I'm not doing great but I'm holding on. Be inspired Iris. You inspire me!
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Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 18707
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Thank you, everyone, for your well wishes! What I am coming to a realization about is a concept that I have been thinking about for a long time. I have a primary memory loss/executive function impairment problem, which gets compounded by other problems, and then the memory loss and executive function impairments get worse. Thus develops a SPIRAL that goes in one direction--down! This is what I call a standstill, because I get to a point where I can't seem to do anything, and my life seems to fall apart at the seams.
Since I am alone, I have no one else to hold things together. When this happens, I don't know if I will get back on my feet. It doesn't feel like it at the time. It feels like I said before, going in one direction only, like a trap. But now, after many months, I can see a dim light at the end of the tunnel. I am nowhere near the end of the tunnel; I can just see the dim light.
The main thing is lots of rest and better sleep. My sleep is very poor. Since this year began, and even from before, I have had only two nights of unbroken sleep. Just about every night I get up at least twice, and sometimes 3 or 4 times a night, or even more some nights. This is not at all conducive to good brain function, not for normal brains nor for impaired brains. I have also been unable to use my CPAP machine which I found does help me.
The other tool is avoiding overstimulation from anything that is stressful, even what could be considered good stress. I cannot tolerate brain multi-tasking, such as too many things on my mind at one time. Thus, I have been keeping a low profile in most areas of my life. This also contributes to my feeling like this could be permanent, because nothing is going on in my life, except I did resume attending my ongoing Senior Computer Class. The level of instruction is very basic, but I am barely remembering the lessons. But I attend for the socialization.
The few people that I still know in my life believe I am doing fine, because that is what I tell them, even though that is not actually the truth. When I appear in public I may look fine to them, although I know myself that I am not fine. I just have no way of explaining the nuances of cognitive impairment and having an invisible disability to the outside world, or even my relatives. I have only one friend that I can tell the truth, because she also has memory problems and trouble functioning and understands what I am dealing with. But she lives with her family, so she is not at a total risk like I am.
Next week I will attend the Memory Club that I have finally been allowed to attend, after being forbidden to attend in earlier years. One other member lives alone, but she attends with a family member. The other members are married. In fact, the meetings are set up for PWD and caregiver together. I am the only person that they have had who attends alone. The world is just not ready to acknowledge people like me even though there are many like me. The Alzheimer's Association says 40% of PWDs live alone, although I am sure many have adult children or others in their lives. I don't know how many are totally alone.
I still have numerous unaddressed problems to attend to. This is what I am facing. I'm trying not to become discouraged. Step by step, inch by inch--that's how it goes. One day at a time. My affirmations and platitudes get me though.
Iris L.
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Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4408
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Beautifully said Iris! Thank God for that little flickering light at the end of that long dark tunnel when you have no one at hand to pick up your slack on the spiral down. Every little thing can get so overwhelming and "stimulating." I know too well how that can feel.
PS: I'm re-thinking this box of curtains I have here when I'm too unstable on my feet to get on the ladder to change a light bulb or smoke detector battery! What was I thinking?
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Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 18707
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Ilee, do you have more curtains to hang up besides the ones you showed us the photo of? I have a small stepladder that I use when I need to change a light bulb. Fortunately the newer bulbs last longer. I have several high cabinets that I have not been in in years. They are also on my project list for whenever I can get around to them. If you feel unsteady, don't risk it. Get someone in to help you. I know, that's easy to say. It's hard to reach the point of needing help for simple tasks that used to be so easy. That's what I'm dealing with myself.
Iris L.
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Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4408
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I have one set of two windows, a singe window and doors leading to the screened porch which equals eight panels. Can no longer reach to the ceiling to change those light bulbs and change smoke detector batteries. The windows are lower so hopefully I can pull that off. I guess a smoke detector can work if you sit it on a table? I have ceramic tea pots and candle holders on the top of my kitchen cabinets that need to be cleaned. I think having things needing to be completed hanging over our heads can add up to stimulation for us.
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Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 18707
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Smoke detectors work because smoke rises to the ceiling, so setting one on a table would defeat the purpose of early detection of smoke.
I don't regard tasks on a to-do list as stimulation; to me they are more like aggravation. They used to be stimulation, but no longer. This is why I am in crisis. I have many undone tasks that are piling up, up, up! There was a time when I was addressing my to-do list slowly, one at a time, but I seem to have stopped; thus the to-do list gets longer instead of shorter.
I think of the concept of crisis as the time when more help is needed. I do need more help, but I can't rely on anyone. I have to change my own tactics and figure out something. I had nine good years with Best Practices, but things have taken a turn for the worse.
Iris L.
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Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 4499
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The red Cross and local fire depts can help with smoke detectors if
you need help.
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Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 4499
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Also keep in mind that should all be replaced in 10 years at the
most.
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Joined: 3/25/2015
Posts: 1142
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Iris, First of all I want to say that I have appreciated your kind and commonsense approach that you have used to teach others here. Thank you.
Second, can you hire a handyman or a housekeeper to come in and help with a few tasks?
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Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 21306
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Light bulbs/smoke detectors.....ladder? RED FLAG
Who is going to find you when you fall?????
People who live alone must have an alert on them or close by. It just makes sense.
I am getting one but until I can figure out which one I have a phone near me 90% of the time. At least let someone know you are header up a ladder and let them know when you are finished. You do not want to lie on the floor in pain until someone finds you and yes I have two friends who laid on the floor!
Lists? Not good with them. They are a lot of pressure to me. If they do help someone but are overwhelming would it help to have three piles of post its? Primary, secondary and tertiary?
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