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Posted: Saturday, December 14, 2019 1:50 AM
Joined: 10/7/2018
Posts: 72

i am the child of LO who has been care facility since June 2019.

Out of my siblings I have been most involved with helping of the care , other than my Dad.

I moved back in with feel anxiety and depression with worrying and sadness of my LO being in a care facility.  I have the luxury of visiting my LO every day and am there for hours....I did after all move back in with my parents to help out.   

With my LO in a care facility it is heartbreaking sometimes.  I am now worrying that my LO is missing out on breakfast some mornings. 

With any illness and just health in general depends so much on staying well fed. My LO has lost thirty pounds since she had been there. 

I don't know what I'm trying to say other than I feel heart broken, uncomfortable, anxious  and alone.  

My dad and I have very poor communication skills. I feel we speak different languages.  He is so very stressed and I am sure so depressed and heartbroken more than words can express.

I have been clinging onto trying to keep items and possessions of my mom's  closely to how she left them.    Very sentimental to me.  I feel my dad and siblings feel differently...and do not value my feelings or me.   

Posted: Saturday, December 14, 2019 2:06 AM
Joined: 9/8/2017
Posts: 2329

Caring for someone is an endless job until they’re gone. We have our hands full all the time. The only thing you can do is keep checking on her and fill in the gaps to ensure good care. That’s what I have to do myself. No one truly cares for my dad more than I. I know that.  Without me, he would not be anyone.  

Just keep checking on her and go in different hours as you probably already do if you have the time.  

I know what you mean.

Posted: Saturday, December 14, 2019 5:41 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 19631

How wonderful that you area able to help!

"heart broken, uncomfortable, anxious  and alone"   We understand.

That is quite a bit of weight to lose. Perhaps you can start your visit with breakfast bring some snacks to leave with her. Sweets are probably the best because taste buds change and often that is all that tastes good.

Regarding your mothers things. I understand. Not much has changed here since my husband died but it may be difficult for your father to see her things. In that case I would defer to him.

Space within
Posted: Friday, December 20, 2019 1:25 AM
Joined: 10/7/2018
Posts: 72

Thank you both for your understanding and advice