RSS Feed Print
does anyone feel its their fault??
hopeful30
Posted: Wednesday, February 1, 2012 3:02 PM
Joined: 12/31/2011
Posts: 64


when i got the results of this latest testing the doctor once again went over  what she had told me four years ago. i began drinking when i was 12 to escape my father and an abusive house (not my Mom) by the time i was 15 i was a full-blown alcholic. i drank for many years til my early forties just before the birth of my first grandson, i was sober 17 years jan. 25th. i also suffered terrible abuse in my marriage then again with my younger childrens father. i took alot of blows to my head and while there is alot of pros and cons on the subject, the doctors have told me severe head trauma and excessive drinking can damage brain cells and lead to this disease. so i have alot of guilt that i could have prevented this if i had made different choices even though i sort of know that at the time i had no choice in some ways i still feel so bad.
Ttom
Posted: Wednesday, February 1, 2012 5:07 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 182


hopeful30 wrote:
 i took alot of blows to my head and while there is alot of pros and cons on the subject, the doctors have told me severe head trauma and excessive drinking can damage brain cells and lead to this disease.

The blows to your head are the biggest of these two issues! Not your fault!!!
 


Tpowder
Posted: Wednesday, February 1, 2012 5:51 PM
Joined: 2/1/2012
Posts: 1


@hopeful30, i can understand where your coming from. my now deceased brother had alcohol induced dementia by the age of 44. i was married to an abusive, to say the least, man. among other things he managed to crack my skull before i made a break for it. i often wonder how much of what all is going on within me can be attributed to that union. i also have depression issues and am unable to take medication for help. as far as life choices and feeling i am the way that i am is the fault of my ex or my birthmother i try and stay somewhat angry at having been put in those situations to begin with. i think somewhere somehow everyone has that "shoulda-coulda-woulda" moment(s). idk if any of this is helpful, just want you to know your not alone

Mimi S.
Posted: Wednesday, February 1, 2012 6:38 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 7027


I'll repeat TTom's:not your fault. It'd be nice to have your abusers take thje guilt, but don't wait for that to happen.

 

Alcohol and especially not to an excess is certainly not good for one, but I have not seen it listed among contributing factors. 

 

Any family history??

Anyway, what you have to do right now is get invested in Best Practices. Work hard and slow the decline down.

 

1. Take meds as directed.

 

2. Vigorous physical exercise.

3. Vigorous mental exercise.

 

4. Mediterranean Diet. I also take antioxidants and Omega 3. No smoking, little drinking.

5. Maintain or increase socialization.


SteveSanJose
Posted: Thursday, February 2, 2012 12:48 PM
Joined: 1/3/2012
Posts: 189


There may be a connection between heavy drinking and Alzheimer's. Here is a link on a article on this http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh25-4/299-306.htm 

There is also a study on extensive concussions, which is caused by head trauma, also possibly leading to Alzheimer's. When I wasd playing sports I had 8 of them. Here is a link for more info.http://www.emaxhealth.com/1275/91/33938/alzheimers-disease-memory-problems-common-among-nfl-players.html In playing football -

Sports in general -

http://youngadults.about.com/od/healthandsafety/qt/The-Perils-Of-Concussion-In-College-Sports.htm 

Memery problems do to MTBI do to abuce link-

http://www.fi.edu/learn/brain/head.html 

Hope this information helps.

 

 

 


Iris L.
Posted: Thursday, February 2, 2012 1:52 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 17900


Thanks for these resources, Steve.  They are very informative.

Iris L.


Geegee
Posted: Thursday, February 2, 2012 2:51 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 514


My sweet SGF!  The abuse you suffered is in no way your fault!  Tom is right.  


You did not cause the blows to your head...any more than you caused the 


abuse of your father.


We all have some type of guilt we feel belongs to us.  We all could have done 


things differently.  You did do things differently when you were able and You 


continued for 17 consecutive years!   That's a major accomplishment.


I'm proud of how you turned your life around.  You have a great outlook and 


are a loving mom and grandmother.  You stay hopeful, Positive, and you keep your sense of humor!  Lorene, you have helped me a lot on these boards.  


 I count  you as a friend.  You have value to other friends that you have made and supported here (as your "previous" screen name--which I can't remember  


unless it was lorene)!


Keep being the best survivor you are!  Here's a hug!  (((((Lorene)))))


JAB
Posted: Thursday, February 2, 2012 7:18 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 740


For those of you having trouble wading through that very detailed publication on alcohol Steve found:

"Although an increased risk of AD with alcohol use is plausible based on biological evidence, the epidemiologic evidence does not support an association. In the few studies that report a significant association, alcohol consumption is more often found to reduce the risk of AD than to increase it.

"...Moderate drinking has been reported to have some beneficial vascular effects (NIAAA 2000), which could possibly reduce the risk of AD."

(This publication strikes me as written by someone who is heavily biased against alcohol, rather than someone who is objective.  Even if it's not, it's quite out of date.  The most recent publications that it cites on alcohol as a risk factor are from 2000.  And there have been quite a few studies since then which consistently concluded that alcohol reduces the risk of AD.  I have yet to see one that found alcohol increases the risk of AD.  Moreover, there is such a strong link between alcohol consumption, especially in the form of wine, and reduced risk of AD that many researchers are now studying whether some component(s) of wine could actually be used to treat AD.)

 

So, sweet Lorene, I think the doctors didn't know what they were talking about when they told you drinking can lead to AD.

 

Heavy blows to your head, yes, there appear to be pretty strong links between those and AD.  But those are your attackers' fault, not yours.  I agree with Mimi, they should feel guilty, very very guilty, over what they did to you.

 

And I agree with Geegee ... you turned your life around in a really amazing way.  And that was your doing! 

 

 You should be proud of yourself.


Willow
Posted: Thursday, February 2, 2012 7:44 PM
Joined: 1/20/2012
Posts: 43


Although I'm new to this site I have been reading your posts for the past month and have grown very fond of you. I hate that you feel it's your fault! I think it's common with many women in particular to carry guilt around like a wet blanket.

From what I have read you have been through so much in your life and come off victorious even while struggling.

Please be aware of what an encouragement you are to so many of us on this site.


Geegee
Posted: Thursday, February 2, 2012 9:13 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 514


Hello Wilow and welcome to our boards and online family.  We are so sorry you have needed to join us but we hope you get the support that you need.


Thank you for your encouraging words to Hopeful, aka Lorene.  She is very caring and will be happy for your support.


Let us know more about you.  please start a new thread (discussion topic).  We are glad you are here.  You are never alone.  If you Haven't been in touch with your local chapter yet, please do so at your first chance.  Find out what services they have in your area.    Welcome!  


Geegee
Posted: Thursday, February 2, 2012 9:23 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 514


JAB, thank you for that wonderful news!!!  Hopeful will be so relieved to get 


hear about this research that let's her off her guilty train.  She doesn't belong there!  We agree on that point for sure.



Lorene, I hope this new from JAB will put your mind at ease.  Get off that guilty train at the next station.  It's not your  train to ride!  


You do NOT have any issues because of anything you did or did not do!! 


So my SGF, that's that!


(((((hugs))))


hopeful30
Posted: Monday, February 6, 2012 1:53 PM
Joined: 12/31/2011
Posts: 64


i am ready to cry thanks to all of you!!! but its because im not used to so much CARING!!! you are all so beautiful, my only wish is that my family were the same, but sometimes i feel you are all like family. im glad to hear about the alcohol thing being false i needed to hear that. i remember being hit so hard once that i couldnt see for a minute or so and thought my sight was gone. that was scary!! but that is NEVER going to happen to me again, trust me!! Geegee thanks for all the truly beautiful things, i dont feel strong ever!! and i cant figure "screen" name but i was always LORENE (alias SGF) and had "hopeful" at the bottom of my posts. everyone always reminded me when i was down of that name and how it fit me!! i love you all and thanks for the response! STEVE GO GIANTS!!!! i thought Tom Brady was going to pass that ball in the end, but the Giants  werent going to have that were they???? boy was i HYPER!! (pretend crazy smiley guy) cause i cant figure how to make one!!!
Homer_E_S
Posted: Saturday, February 11, 2012 12:44 PM
Joined: 2/9/2012
Posts: 390


You know, we all have these bodies that come with limits. Sometimes we push the limits, sometimes our circumstances push our limits. In the end we are what's left.

We come here a blank page, we write on it, our parents write on it, our partners, friends, and even those who don't care so much for us get a scribble or two.

I am sorry you got stepped on, before you were loved. I happens too often in this world.

So, here we are showing our age, more years off the calender, than years left on it.

Lets let the past slip away and think what can we love on today Can something soothe my soul now.

.

.I too allowed the bottle to consume  many of my young years, but by the grace of God that had an end. Still the scars of working to hard, caring to much, giving more than I had mark my mind and body. Who to blame? Me, them, life. And to what end, I can't pay more and they can't give me back what I lost, - days of my life.

.

As I watch the once vibrant and intelligent wife disappear and be replaced with a stranger who doesn't know me, I know less and less  really matters. 63 years can be  lost in a second or slowly worn away. Either way it already has been lived.

.

I will not punish myself with the mistakes of the past. I breath because I love today.

I will eat well, I will love those who love me, and if I survive this and happiness again comes my way, I will grab it with both hands. If it doesn't, my days added up to just enough.

.

 


Mimi S.
Posted: Saturday, February 11, 2012 5:48 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 7027


What's done is done. Just go on with our lives. Lead each day as if it's a new start. Don't worry about what you 'should have' done.

I will not punish myself with the mistakes of the past. I breath because I love today.

I will eat well, I will love those who love me, and if I survive this and happiness again comes my way, I will grab it with both hands. If it doesn't, my days added up to just enough.

 


hopeful30
Posted: Monday, February 13, 2012 1:29 PM
Joined: 12/31/2011
Posts: 64


Mimi and Homer, thanks for those wise words, they soothed my soul. i have so many blessings today and have 17 years of sobriety to stand by. i got to see my first-born grandson with sober eyes and the rest that came along. i am trying to not play the "blame myself" game it does more harm than good, but every once in awhile the ugly past slips through and the old habit of self-blame slips through. your friendship has kept me "grounded" so thanks to all of you on this forum for all the wonderful words of encouragement over these past many months!!!
Iris L.
Posted: Monday, February 13, 2012 3:23 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 17900


All around us people younger than us are dropping dead before their time.  Every day is a new chance at life for us.  Let's grab it while we still can!

Iris L.


Geegee
Posted: Tuesday, February 14, 2012 4:30 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 514


Amen!  I agree that we have to grab  "our today".  


Homer, you sound like you have learned a lot over the last 63 years with your wife.  We are glad you are here with us and can get support.  


It's great when we learn from our pasts.  Just imagine the many that seem to never really get it!


Happy Valentine's Day, spread love!