Smoky, I'm so sorry for the sadness you are experiencing on what would have been your Mom's birthday. She just passed on to a heavenly place and I was thinking of the words we put on my Mom's headstone."There will be no tribulation there". Words from a hymn she used to sing. So there is no more tribulation for your Mom and may that comfort you. Go ahead and grieve, its natural because no one loved us like our mothers and we miss them even though the last years of their lives were difficult.

Now is the time to take care of yourself knowing that you don't have to worry about your Mom. She is happy in a place in heaven that the Lord has prepared for all of us once our time comes and we are re-united with our loved ones.I pray the good Lord grant you peace and comfort and eventually acceptance.......BusyBee

To "Smoky" and "Happy Bee".....

both of your posts touched me and made me tear up.  I lost my mom to ALZ last Sept. 1st.  She was diagnosed in Aug. of '04.  I was with her at her residential board and care in CA.  Like you, Smoky, my mom's legs stopped working in Jan. of '08.

Her speech disappeared not long after that.  I was so angry at this ugly disease that took her from me... I loved her so.....I am grateful that God gave me the gift of spending the last 8 years of her life with her.  She spent the last 4 years of her life living in a residential board and care in Southern CA.  Her hospice people called me and said she had stopped eating and swallowing and she had rattling in her chest; that she would likely only last 7,maybe 8 days.  She lasted 5. On Sept. 1st, 2012 at 5:35 p.m. I stepped out of her room to eat 2 small pieces of chicken and a yogurt. I was gone maybe 5 minutes....when I went back into her room, she was gone.  :=(

This Sept. 18th would have been my mom's 89th birthday.  But both of you spoke to my heart with your posts.  I thank you both for that.  I try not to feel  so empty, and I can't wait to see her in Heaven. I am so glad that she is happy, and healthy  now. I too, would not wish her back the way she was.  I want her happy and well.  And..no tribulation there...."   How true that is.  Thank You Jesus for what you do.

Smoky I know how you feel, my mom passed away on September 6, 2012 - 10

 months ago after my birthday on September 1, my mom's birthday is July 13, and I do not know how I will get through this day.  I always brought her ice cream and cake and presents at the nursing home.  I was her caretaker for 9 years.  I agree with you that your mom's quality of life was such that she is not suffering anymore and that is the most important thing.  We as caretakers would never want to be in such a position being unable to talk, walk and we know our mom's would not want that either.  She is in heaven now with the angels and not suffering anymore.  This is a dreadful disease and I pray all the time for a cure.  When I read your post I immediately started sobbing.  I was crying because I was so fortunate with my mom's condition, she could still talk to me, she still knew who I was, she could still tell me she loved me one week before she passed away.  God had answered all of my prayers for her, she was not sick for very long, died very quickly and did not suffer too much prior to her death.  Unfortunately I was in Atlantic City celebrating my birthday with my husband and some friends when I received a call that she was sick. After she got to the hospital, the doctor told me she would not last through the night, we ran back to our hotel, packed our stuff, drove as fast as we could, I cried the entire ride - I took four hours for the drive from New Jersey to the hospital.  We did not make it in time she was gone when we got there.  I kissed her on her forehead and I said " I know mom you didn't want me to be here", I was there every minute for you for 10 years and I missed your last moments.  I always prayed  that my mom would die quietly in her sleep because I did not have the courage to watch her die.  I think that God and my mom were watching out for me that day.  God bless you and your mom.

mom'sgirl66 and HappyBee

I know how difficult it is, my mom died at age 89 on Sept. 6, 2012, my birthday is September 1, I am happy she was in such good condition before she passed.  One week before she died, I brought her some strawberry shortcake, she ate it and I took a video of her eating the cake.  When I was going to leave I gave her a big hug and told her she was the best mom in the world and that I loved her, she hugged me back and said I was the best daughter in the world.  It was a gift, it was the last time I saw her alive.  I don't know why I took the video that day, it wasn't a special occasion or anything I just wanted to.  I don't know why I gave her such a big hug and told her what I told her, usually I would put my arm around her an give her a kiss and say "ok mom - have to go now I will see you soon".  I have a picture of her and me that day too, one of the other family members saw us together and took a picture of me and my mom that day.  It is the last picture I have of her.  I feel that everything happens according to God's plan and we can just go along with his wishes.  So here I am crying.  Your posts have been so very helpful to me during my grief process because nobody really understands being a caretaker of a parent with Alzhemer's unless that have walked in our shoes.  I had to put myself last on the list for so long that now that she is gone, I feel like I have lost a child, a best friend and a mother, all in one swift blow.  I am healing as everyone on this message board is healing and I am happy to be here with all of you.