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Am I blue? Sigh....
dj okay
Posted: Sunday, November 10, 2013 11:02 AM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 1840


After going to more funerals than I can count over the past 12 weeks and enduring some family trauma that is beyond heart-breaking, I have been suffering from a blueness that reminds me of how I felt this time last year.  We are approaching my mother's birthday which doesn't help as well as the second holiday season without her. 

 

I am making some headway at dealing with this blueness, but the cold November Michigan weather isn't helping.

 

Then this morning, just as we were pulling into the church parking lot, "I Fall to Pieces" by Patsy Cline came on the radio.  It was one of Mom's favorites.  She loved Patsy and one of her aides, the gal that put her to bed most nights, started a little routine that I learned about only a couple days before Mom passed away.  When she bent over to kiss Mom good-night, she would start to sing "I Fall..." and Mom would respond with "...to pieces".  They continued this until just a few days before Mom died.  This is probably the first time I've heard the song since then because that album was playing when Mom died and I just haven't been able to play it again.  I had to get out of the car as soon as my husband pulled into the parking space to avoid entering the church with teary eyes and a red nose.

 

Another cold, windy, cloudy day and my spirit is flagging.

 

I know you dear friends here would understand.


farawaydaughter
Posted: Monday, November 11, 2013 3:32 PM
Joined: 4/19/2012
Posts: 414


DJ, I understand how you feel on many levels. This 2nd year holiday time seems a lot tougher for me as well.

 

Also having multiple deaths, one on top of the other does add up, and does weigh heavily. I've lost a lot not just my parents, which is big enough to begin with.

 

I love that Patsy Cline song as well, and yes it would make anyone weep. What a sweet story about her caretaker and herself.

 

My folks lived in MI all their lives. I know how tough that weather can be. I personally can't live there, that is just me.

 

I've been crying every day for 6 months since my last dog, my best dog, my everything passed away. He brought a lot of joy to mom and dad when I did live there. I've lost my entire pet family (3) and my parents in a very short time. The estate has been a nightmare, and I am at a loss.

 

Last year I was so relieved that my parents were no longer suffering, that I honored them all the time. With the death of Sidekick just 10 months later.........it has been too much.

 

No one told us the 2nd year might be harder than the first. I was doing so well ( I thought) until Sidekick died. Been a mess ever since. The holidays will be super tough.

 

I have ordered a xmas wreath for my folks, not as fancy as last years, but enough that I am at peace with it.

 

Mom and Dad with Side on their anniversary. Well it seems the attachment won't work either. Oh well.

 

 

 

Lets hold on to one another this holiday season, ok?
File Attachment(s):
m&d&s(2).jpeg (88258 bytes)

dj okay
Posted: Monday, November 11, 2013 4:15 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 1840


Dear faraway,

 

Thanks for the reply.  Yes, we will hold each other up during this second season without them.  I really didn't think it would be this hard.

 

The deal with the cemetery is another issue with me.  My parents are buried in Alabama and I've only been to the grave 3 times since the funeral and one of those was the day after.  The last time I was there, I was so upset with how the grounds have deteriorated.  And it's hard for me to order flowers or wreaths and not be able to see them.  But I will do it anyway.  Sometimes one of my cousins will take a picture for me.

 

I've never lost a dear dog myself.  I felt sad when my parents' dog was killed by a car many years ago.  But my brother lost his dog last year, exactly 2 weeks after our mother died, and strangely enough from the same thing.  And he and his wife have had a terrible time dealing with that loss.  So from my own sadness (she was a loving animal and I felt a special attachment to her) and from hearing about their struggles with that loss, I do feel for what you are going through.  Sidekick must have been so dear to your heart.

 

By the way, the picture didn't come out entirely.  I wonder if you could include it in an attachment instead.


eaglemom
Posted: Monday, November 11, 2013 4:51 PM
Joined: 3/7/2012
Posts: 2663


Well, it seems as if I was destined to read this - and admit I too am in the blue boat.  This is the second season without my mom - and I've found my mind wandering to her frequently.

 

Cold dark dreary days play havoc with one's emotions.  Thankfully here in TX we don't have too many of them.  What happens is if we have one day, it seems to hang around for several days.  That's when I know I've got to do something different.

 

My parents are buried in KS.  We've gone home several times - and I always go by the cemetery.  I would imagine its hard not being able to do so.  I want to share a very sweet moment with you.  The last time we went to KS was great, like always.  Its awful not having my folks be there, but I find it comforting and frankly DH is so very relaxed there.  Anyway, our son and DIL came back also.  They too love going back.  (Tiny town, no street light, all brick roads, everyone knows everyone, etc.  Very different than the city life that they lead.)  We headed out of town and the cemetery is right beside the highway, and I glanced over - only to see our son & DIL at the gravesite.  I believe that touched me more than anything in the world.  (DH and I had just left the cemetery, through a different exit!)  I knew they went by there, but seeing them both standing there arms around one another meant the world to me.

 

So even though you personally haven't been able to go to the cemetery, I would venture others have done so for you.  Its not the same as yourself, but you've done the best you can do.  Yes I believe its big hug time for all of us.

 


dj okay
Posted: Monday, November 11, 2013 6:16 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 1840


Eaglemom,


That was a poignant picture in my head of your son & DIL standing there, and you driving by seeing the scene....  I know how much that must have meant.

 

The weather continues.  We are now in the middle of an unseasonable cold front.  This afternoon saw dark clouds and snow, yes, SNOW, all afternoon.  I am NOT ready for this!

December 24th, sure, but not now.

 

 

Thanks for the hug!  It helps to know others understand.

 


farawaydaughter
Posted: Tuesday, November 12, 2013 12:01 AM
Joined: 4/19/2012
Posts: 414


The MI weather is one of the main reasons I can't live there DJ. The last winter I was there it snowed big time and it was MAY! I just closed the blinds and sobbed. You have my empathy.

 

I added the attachment, but it won't show up for some reason.

 

Maybe you could ask the cemetery if they have anyone or know anyone who tends to graves for a price?

 

I am fortunate that the cemetery where my parents are have been very cooperative and helpful. They have sent me photos of flowers or wreaths. They also gave me the name of a woman who will tend to graves, plant flowers, deliver flowers/wreaths, even cards laminated, etc. I used her a lot last year, and she always sent photos as well. I found her price fair.

 

The cemetery also sends a notice out that they will provide wreaths and/or grave blankets for the upcoming holidays. I just had to sign up for it last year. Maybe your cemetery does that as well? It came in Oct. and the wreath will stay there until Spring.

 

Hopefully your cemetery has some kind of caretaking? Just call and ask? That is what I did. Not everyone can live near the graves.

 

Sidekick was definitely special in many many ways. He was the happiest dog I have ever had, and I miss my Happy ever so much. Thank you for your empathy.


dj okay
Posted: Tuesday, November 12, 2013 8:10 AM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 1840


Ah, well.  The sun is brilliant this morning and nearly blinding coming through my window, reflecting on the light coating of snow from yesterday!  I guess I'll take the sun & snow in place of the dark and gloomy days that preceded.

 

Faraway,

 

My mother's cemetery went out of business and was taken over by the state.  The funeral home that handled my mother's final services now is responsible for the upkeep, but I don't think they are doing a very good job of it.  The grass is mown and that's about it.

 

I will ask around and see if there is any service like that.  If there is someone in small-town Kansas that does it, maybe there is someone in small-town Alabama.

 

Thought I'd share a story about my brother's dog that may bring a smile.  Mocha was about 3 years old, a 70-lb lab mix, when my brother and his wife moved into their first "home".  Being in the military, they had always rented, but this was to be his last station before retiring so they decided to buy.  They got this lovely 1950's ranch that looked like it had been shrink-wrapped for 40 years.  It was in great shape and the layout was really nice.

 

 I was visiting for the first time and had arrived after working all day (I had a team of folks in his town, about 4 hours from my home).  I hadn't been in the house 5 minutes as he was showing me around when I noticed that Mocha wasn't there.  We were standing in the kitchen and I said "Where's Mocha?"  Just about that time, she came around the side of the garage and saw us through the glass storm door and came excitedly charging to greet me.  Well, that non-tempered 1950's glass just shattered when her feet hit it and it sounded like a bomb had gone off!  When we recovered from the shock, Mocha was nowhere to be seen.  She had limped into the back yard and was licking the large gashes in both front legs. 

 

My brother ran and got some rags to wrap around her legs and my sister-in-law called the local vet's office,  It was after hours and they directed us to a vet hospital across town.  It was obvious that Mocha had cut some arteries and was going to need stitches.  She was so docile and yielded to my brother's loving care as he had to hold the bandages tight to stop the bleeding.  He and Mocha got in the back seat of their car, my brother hunkered down over Mocha.  My SIL drove and I was riding shot-gun.  As we headed across town, I think we got a lot of odd stares as two very worried-looking women in the front seat with a man in a watch-cap crouching behind!! We were actually surprised that a police car never pulled us over to find out what the heck was going on!

 

Where's the smile, you wonder?  Well, Mocha did just fine.  After the doc stitched her up, she was still pretty drugged up and looked like she was drunk.  Plus, she had that plastic cone on her head to prevent her chewing her bandages.  As she was coming out of the back office, the office cat crossed in front of her and the look on her face was priceless!  It was a combination of "What is THIS?" and "I can't even RUN!"  It was so cute.  And on our way back to their house I told my brother "You sure know how to show a gal a good time!"

 

Mocha was always special to me after that night. 


Jo C.
Posted: Tuesday, November 12, 2013 2:02 PM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 11595


Cute story; poor little doggie!

 

Donna; I am in SoCal and my Mother is buried in the U.P. of Michigan in  the old family plot.

 

I use a local florist shop and the staff is wonderful.  After the flowers are put out, the florist takes a photo and sends it to me on computer.  I am so grateful for that gracious gesture of kindness.

 

There are folks in my hometown who will tend plots in the cemetery.  Names are often available through cemetery offices and sometimes through the florist shops nearest the cemetery; through funeral homes and one can even contact churches to ask if they know of such services because sometimes a parishioner is known  to have such a service.

 

I hope you find someone to help.

 

Personally, I think the grief at significant losses are always worse during the family oriented holidays.  To lose a beloved child or beloved spouse must be the very worst at any time, but even more compounded during this time of the year.

 

I miss my mother, brother, father and grandmother and I often silently talk to them in my heart and mind; it is comforting.

 

The first couple years after losses, I find myself in tears while decorating my Christmas tree, recalling all the wonderful family times shared together during the holidays that will never be again; then after the tree is done, I put my tears away and focus on the blessings in my life.

 

When the losses came one after the other, it was dreadfully heartbreaking.  I so missed my LOs all the time, but the holiday season was the saddest.  Then I found it was helpful and rewarding to do things for others and do it in the honor of those who are now gone.

 

Each year, we adopt a needy/homeless child's wishes off a tree at church and fill them. 

 

I decide, each year, to gift one person who has done something special or who was so nice when they did not have to be . . . . the young Hispanic man at the El Pollo Loco take out window who always served with such good will sweetness and a smile; the lady in the yogurt shop whose broken English with strong Japanese accent was always in good spirit and deep warmth; the little assistant at a doctor's office who strives to be good to all; someone will get a package that is not expecting it and it feels delightful to do that.

 

It is also fun to leave a little package on someone's doorstep without a name on it; especially if it is a lonely or ill person and address it, "From Your Santa Pal."

 

I have mailed special packages to elderly ladies in Michigan who are pretty much alone and tell them I am thinking of them and wish them a Happy Christmas.  In my heart, I am gifting my mother.

 

These things; going outside myself in honor of those I love, helps me to feel less sadness and brings warmth.

 

Jo 

 

 


Twink
Posted: Tuesday, November 12, 2013 2:30 PM
Joined: 3/19/2013
Posts: 1118


    Sharing the blues dj! Oct 27th was the 2nd anniv. of my Dad's passing. 6 months after he passed, Mom was diagnosed w/ dementia, & it's been all downhill ever since. Mom has lived w/ DH & I for almost a year now, & I'll be surprised if we don't have to place her before another year goes by.

 

    Hate this time of year anyway, as I'm seasonal affective, but has been much worse since all of this. Also, Christmas was Dad's birthday. The holiday season just doesn't do a thing for me anymore. Sigh!  Big empathetic hugs, Twink


Oceanbum
Posted: Tuesday, November 12, 2013 2:51 PM
Joined: 3/11/2012
Posts: 433


Hi DJ! I haven't been here for a while. I'm sorry to hear you are feeling blue. We had our first snow today and I know that means the winter weather is upon us. It always seems to make me a little on the blue side, too. Mom's birthday is coming up, on Dec. 2. So I know that will be a tough day. And then the holidays. I miss her so much. But this time of year it just seems like it's so much harder.

 

And I know what you mean about the song. Mom's favorite Christmas song was "Oh, Holy Night". I can't hear it without crying. People probably thought I was insane having it played at her funeral ~ since it was in June.

 

But what a beautiful story about the caregiver singing that song to your Mom. Aren't they the best sometimes?! There was one girl in particular that fed Mom her meals every day. She was the only one who could get Mom to eat. She was so caring, so patient and so kind to her. Even when Mom changed rooms and was no longer in a room that this girl was assigned to, they allowed her to come to Mom's room and feed her because Mom responded so well to her.


MLB61
Posted: Monday, November 18, 2013 5:36 PM
Joined: 12/2/2011
Posts: 726


Hi dj -- I haven't been here for a while, but I often think of my online "friends" who carried me through the loss of my parents.  Dj, you were so helpful to me.  While my fog has lifted, I still have sad times. I had a wonderful life with my parents.  I will always miss them. I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.  Hugs...
dj okay
Posted: Tuesday, November 19, 2013 11:26 AM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 1840


Thanks for the warm thoughts, MLB61!

 

Today is Mom's birthday and although the sun is brightly sunning, I am still fairly blue.

 

It is friends like you that continue to carry me through this journey.


KML
Posted: Tuesday, November 19, 2013 12:06 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 2105


The blueness, yes, I understand.  Our weather in California is mild, so I can't contribute my feelings relating to the weather. 

 

This is my second holiday season without my father.  It's the thirteenth without my mom. 

 

The first year, I felt numb, the emptiness, missing their presence, the conversations, the Christmas card writing, baking our special Christmas cookies together.  Grief was my buffer last year, it was expected I would feel that way and everyone else around me got it to some degree, so I didn't have to put a show of being happy and I didn't feel the need to put up a brave front.

 

This year, the numbness is wearing away, but the reality that my dad is really not here and never will be again, is a stark reality and it's sad.  I miss both of my parents and I wish their lifes could have been easier, I wish as a family, we could have had better times and more of them.  The holiday season intensifies that feeling for me.

 

The holidays can't help but remind us of the times we all spent together and the fact that things are so different now.  I understand now how my parents must have felt when they lost their parents.   

 

I've eased some of my sadness over my dad by staying in touch with his wonderful younger brother (91 years old) and his wonderful cousin (87 years old).  They remind me of my dad and share the same sense of humor and it just makes me feel better talking with them.  They both like to talk about my dad and they have some great memories about him and I enjoy that very much. 

 

DJ, your Chinese proverb about the birds of sadness and not letting them make nests on your head, really has stuck with me.  I try to view my sadness as something that passes over, that bird will continually pass overhead the rest of my life, but I'm trying not to let it settle in too long so that I don't miss out on the good things going on around me.  I have to remind myself of that all the time.

 

The grief doesn't go away, we will always miss our loved ones, in lots of time it might get easier, but there are always going to be the reminders, the holidays, the occasions, something to remind us of what we are missing.  I guess the turnaround is to think about what we had and that we were gifted to have them in our lifes for the time they were here and maybe it slows us down some in taking a day at a time and seeing something good in each day to keep us going.

 

I expect to always feel sad about the people who are no longer in my life, I want to try and appreciate what I have when I have it, that's an area I need work on. I want to try and look at each day as a new day, a new opportunity and take it from there.  That's how I feel today, tomorrow, it might be another story.

 

We'll all be here for one another.

 

 

 


KML
Posted: Wednesday, November 20, 2013 3:51 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 2105


My daughter emailed me this morning with an attachment and a brief note saying my nephew emailed her a nice picture of grandma.  I opened the attachment and it was a wonderful picture of my mom that I've never seen before, she looks so happy and smiling and healthy.  It took my breath away.  I miss her so much.  It was just lovely to see her picture looking this way, it's how I want to remember her.  I've been thinking about her and my dad a lot, of course, with Thanksgiving coming up especially.

 

My mom would get up very early on Thanksgiving to start preparing dinner.  She had an interesting sense of humor.  She would rinse the turkey, and sit it on top of the counter near the sink with it's legs crossed, funny.  She made the best stuffing. 

 

I'm not sure why my nephew chose this time, 13 years after her passing to send my daughter the picture.  She must have been on his mind, too.  I'm keeping this picture on my computer and I can pull it up and see her smiling.  It's a both happy/sad feeling.  Happy to see her smiling, just love it; sad, because I miss her.


dj okay
Posted: Thursday, November 21, 2013 2:21 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 1840


I think those of us entering this second holiday season without our loved ones can relate.  I surely didn't expect this year to be as hard and, in some ways, harder than last year.

 

I was telling someone about it this morning and she told me this.  When she first lost her mother after a brief and painful illness, she was almost glad that her mother wasn't suffering any more and that seemed to carry her through the first holiday season.  But for years after that, it was still hard and in some ways harder because she was missing her healthy mother, the one with which she shared all the pleasant memories.


That rang so true to me.  I hadn't thought about it like that.  Last year I was still grieving the sweet, confused, and disabled mother that I had just lost.  This year, I think I'm missing more the mother that cooked delicious Thanksgiving dinners and shared the joy of the holidays with us.  I think I'm finally mourning my mother for all that she was.

 

Not that it makes it any easier, but it sure helps to understand my pain a little better.

 

 


Little Wing
Posted: Thursday, November 21, 2013 6:48 PM
Joined: 5/15/2013
Posts: 146


Hello dear friends – i haven't been on in a while.  Once in awhile I pop on and start reading in the Caregivers Forum, but as much as I'd like to write stuff to help others who are where I once was, I find I can't.  I had such great hopes of helping out after my mom died.



It's so nice to see your names - and I know i started to read this thread when it started, but I quickly become so overwhelmed i just "command-w" the old laptop and close it down.  I'm in such denial of feeling anything that I may be beyond blue  : )



You all are inspiring in how you find ways to deal with things, think through things, actually have things to do or rituals.  It's not the weather that makes me feel blue, i actually love winter (i'm in New England) and look forward to the snow and the cold.  I'm odd that way, I know.  The internal build up of blocked down feelings is making me blue.  I'm still so petrified to deal with any of this I'm actually considering going to see my old counselor just so I can sit and talk and cry for an hour - an expensive hour at that!



One of the biggest things that surprises me is when I forget.  I forget my mom is gone.  I had a birthday a few weeks ago and actually walked out to the mailbox thinking "wow, i can't believe mom hasn't sent a card yet, she's always the first card I get!".  That lasted for about three seconds before that horrible black-blech feeling came rolling through my body and I remembered.  It doesn't matter that my mother had forgotten my birthday for the last two years when she was alive!!  Of course I forget because I don't think about it - at all, unless someone else brings it up, or i hear a song, or a phrase my mother always used.  Figure skating was on TV the other day, she loved watching it.  I actually reached to pick up the phone to call her and tell her it was on.

 

I'm one town over from where my mother is buried.  I've been by a few times, but like everything else, I'm afraid.  It makes it so real that I can't bear it.  And that sucks, because, this may sound weird, but it's a beautiful tiny cemetery that I've always loved.  It's old and there's not many families in it.  My mom used to go to visit and "talk" with everyone that was there.  She found great comfort and loved to go visit with everyone (her mother in law, my uncle).

 

I feel so stuck, literally like I'm surrounded by cement and I can't even make it crack to start the process of thinking, grieving, remembering.  It's almost a physical feeling and I'm so frustrated.  I've actually gone back to torturing myself with things I didn't do when she was alive, or remembering the look on her face when I lost my patience, or when she said things like "i always feel so safe when I'm with you" when all I wanted was to run away from her.  I guess I'm not as done with the "I was such a failure to my mother" phase as I thought I was.  Man this sucks.  I just want to forget everything happened, good and bad.  Maybe then I'll feel better.

Please don't feel like you have to respond, I just need to get stuff out of my head once in a while.  I'm sure my friends would listen to me until the cows come home, but they can never truly understand an iota of what this feels like.  So I dump on my caring, supportive online friends.  Thanks to you all for listening.

 


dj okay
Posted: Friday, November 22, 2013 8:32 AM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 1840


Little Wing,


I'm so sorry you are so stuck.  That can't be comfortable for you.  I think your idea of talking with a counselor is an excellent one.  You may need professional help to move forward.


The fact that you are having those "forgetting" episodes, however briefly, makes me think you are still in shock or denial.  I think those phases are there for us as a protective barrier when the pain is too intense for us to handle it.  But if it's beginning to build up in your system, you'll need to let it out.  I'm sure it helps somewhat to "talk" about it here, but it would be even better to talk face-to-face with someone.

 

I am reverting back to second-guessing myself on some of the decisions I made for my mother, so I completely understand how you can be doing so.   It's only been 5 months for you!  I'm at 15 months and still working through it.  I think the key is that we need to keep "working through" it.

 

Grief is not just an emotional thing.  It affects our mental health, our physical health, and our spiritual health.  So to not work on your grief is to allow this "beast" to affect our overall health and well-being.

 

I never knew this could be such hard work.  But I want to do what I need to in order to be a healthier individual.  I hope you do, too.

 

Sending a warm hug because you sound like you need it. (((((())))))


KML
Posted: Friday, November 22, 2013 12:09 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 2105


Little Wing:

 

I think talking with your counselor again is a very good idea.  I had to do this when my father passed away.  I couldn't handle all of the feelings and emotions and needed someone I could just let loose on and cry and tell how I felt, how bad I felt.  It helped me a lot, she gently guided me through my feelings and helped me come around to understand a lot of my feelings and it made me feel so normal.  I didn't feel normal or anything close to it for such a long, long time.  Everything you are feeling right now is very, very normal and we need to hear someone say that to us, so we can be released from these overwhelming feelings.

 

My mom has been gone for 13 years and just last night, a flicker happened, for just the briefest moment a thought entered my head that I needed to call mom, and just as soon as it popped in my mind, the realization hit, she's gone.  I have this happen every once in awhile still, more so in the beginning after her death for about a year.  But it still happens.

 

I read a book called On Grief and Grieving, it said that the grieving period was important to go through, it was a healing process and in some ways, it protects us and slows us down so we can absorb what's happened.  I know it sounds strange to think something so painful and hurtful can be healing, but it's like waking up each and every emotion and feeling we have and experiencing everything that goes with it and we get to the point where we begin to understand and accept and live with it because that's what we need to do.  We need to make room for it in our hearts.  It takes a long time, no timeframe for this.

 

Going over the things we would do differently, beating ourselves up for what we feel we didn't do or didn't do enough of.  This is something we all do and the reason we do is because we cared so much.  We have to ask ourselves that if we could have done more, we would have.  We stretched ourselves to the limits of what a human being could do, we did all that we possibly could at that moment in time.  If we could have realistically done more, we would have done it in a heartbeat because that's who we are.  But we're not superhuman, we are human.  We did more and then some,  We did what we humanly possibly could do at the time and we did it with all of the rest of life happening around us.  We can't beat ourselves up for being human, what we should do is marvel at our strength and endurance and compassion.

 

Expressing your feelings here is not dumping, don't think that.  We get it, we all get it because we all have felt the same or something similar.  We're all grieving and we understand, you're in good company here.  Take care.


SueK
Posted: Sunday, November 24, 2013 7:28 AM
Joined: 8/28/2012
Posts: 318


Little Wing - I know how you feel!  I'm feeling more like I'm stuck in quicksand than cement, I keep trying to do things & just feel as if I keep getting pulled down.  I'm also thinking a very expensive cry with a counselor would be a good thing. 

 

I felt really numb at first, fell apart a few times & then felt somewhat functional.  I got things taken care of for the estate, but it seemed as if once that was done - now I'm just waiting for probate to be over - I went into this slump & can't get out.

 

I'm dreading the holidays - everyone always came to my house & we had these big family dinners.  During the years of Mom's AD, that all went away, in large part because she couldn't handle the crowds, so we had a number of small celebrations.  But during that time, my daughters both started new holiday traditions with their in-laws, and my son and his girlfriend moved across the country after Mom died, so this year is throwing me for a loop.  I'm going to one of my daughters for Thanksgiving with her and her husbands family, but somehow I'm just dreading it.  And my husband pretty much fell apart physically after Mom died, so he won't be going with me. 

 

I'd really like to just go to bed and not get up until January.


Little Wing
Posted: Monday, November 25, 2013 8:06 PM
Joined: 5/15/2013
Posts: 146


As usual you all have made me feel better - if not better then at least not completely crazy.

 

Thanks for the feedback, I'll take it all to heart.  I hope you all have the best holidays that you can.  I'm contemplating eating turnip in honor of my mom, even though it'll make me gag.  "It's not Thanksgiving if there's no turnip!".  Blech  : )


KML
Posted: Tuesday, November 26, 2013 1:47 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 2105


Little Wing:

 

You don't have to gag.  I did a search for delicious turnip recipes and found this below.  Butter does make things better   Happy Thanksgiving.

 

Okay, so not everyone loves turnips as much as we do. But even if you aren’t the biggest fan of that radishy root, this recipe might just turn you around. Not surprisingly, cream, butter and onions bring out the savory best in turnips. Recipe is adapted from one of my favorite veggie cookbooks –

 

Scalloped Turnips Recipe

  • Prep time: 20 minutes
  • Cook time: 1 hour, 15 minutes
  • Yield: Serves 6.

Ingredients

  • 4 Tbsp butter
  • 1/2 cup thinly sliced onions
  • 4 cups peeled, thinly sliced turnips
  • 2 Tbsp flour
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • Freshly ground black pepper
  • 3/4 cup milk
  • 1/3 cup cream

Method

1 Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter a 1-quart casserole. Melt 1 Tbsp butter and lightly sauté onions until just wilted.

2 Layer a third of the sliced turnips in the casserole dish; top with a third of the onion; sprinkle with 2 teaspoons of flour, 1/3 teaspoon of salt, and one grind of pepper; pat with dollops from 1 tablespoon of butter. Repeat this layering twice.

3 Mix milk and cream together and pour over the turnips. Cover and bake in a 350°F oven for 30 minutes, then remove cover and bake for another 30-45 minutes, or until tender and bubbly.


Little Wing
Posted: Thursday, November 28, 2013 9:47 AM
Joined: 5/15/2013
Posts: 146


KML – how sweet of you!  And it's one of those weird universe things that my mother used to say the same thing "butter makes things better"!    I'm going to print this out and try it - thank you so much for this.  Thanksgiving was my favorite holiday with my parents and a special aunt and uncle, they made it such fun all day long – they're all gone now so this first one is tough.  I'm looking for "Miracle on 34th Street" on TV (the original b/w one of course) and will make it through the day thinking back on great Thanksgiving memories with my favorite people.

 

 

I hope you and everyone here has the best Thanksgiving that they can.