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a good bye call
Posted: Thursday, March 27, 2014 9:53 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 3689

I have been visiting an elderly couple in the N.H. for some time now.  Recently the man passed away.  His wife told me she was in her room, in her bed and heard him call her. "Martha!"  He sounded like he was in her room.  She was tired and didn't want to get up.


At that moment, there were N.H. aides at her door. Her husband who was dying wanted her.  She got up, walked down the long hall to his room, and by the time she got there, he had passed.


She told me, she believes his calling out her name was his way of saying good bye. 


Our loved ones don't die; they just move on to a better place with God.



Posted: Thursday, March 27, 2014 3:09 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 521

one daughter
Posted: Friday, March 28, 2014 2:41 PM
Joined: 1/30/2013
Posts: 1980

Bless her heart.
Posted: Saturday, March 29, 2014 6:38 AM
Joined: 12/2/2011
Posts: 726

How touching!  They leave us physically, but I don't believe that they actually leave us.  I feel both of my parents around me so much.
Posted: Saturday, March 29, 2014 9:10 AM
Joined: 10/29/2012
Posts: 105

Hello all.  I believe our loved ones are with us all the time.  Every time I need to make a decision the first thing that pops in my mind is - Mom give me a sign as to what I need to do.  I always feel she is right there when I ask for a solution or need to talk.  Sometimes I'll meet a stranger in the store or while I am at a play.  That person will start talking about a subject - about the very topic that I am needing an answer for.  I can't tell you how many times this has happened - absolutely astounding!

She is with me.  Her words come to my mind when I am unhappy at work, she'll say, Just be happy, don't worry about the others.  You should be thankful for what you have.


My mom died 7/26/13.  I sure love her.  Peace to everyone.

Posted: Saturday, March 29, 2014 2:49 PM
Joined: 11/5/2013
Posts: 138

My husband Jim passed away on February 26, 2014.  And yes, I do believe they have ways of saying goodbye.


As background to this story, Jim had not recognized us for almost two years.  Yes, we knew it was part of the disease, but it was terribly hard...especially for our only child.


Our daughter lives about 300 miles from us.  She calls almost every night.  When Jim was here, if he was not to tired or too out of sorts, I would put her on speaker phone so they could "talk".  This usually consisted of Jim staring at the phone, or rambling incoherently.  Megan would tell him about her day, or what she was planning for the weekend.  However, their last conversation was about a week before he died.  She began by asking him if he knew who was talking to him...and he responded "Meg...Meg".  She  told him yes, this is your daughter Megan.  He launched into some more incoherent speech but then said "Megan, are you alright?  Do you need money?"  She assured him she was fine and had a good paying job.  His last words to her - and the last words she ever heard from him were "Love you".  That was his sign to her.


Jim's deterioration was rapid and I called her to come home.  When she arrived, she came in the door and called out "I'm home".  He had no voluntary movement at the time, but his eyes sought her out.  And his eyes followed her.  We were beside him when  he drew his last breath.  And at that moment, his eyes look straight at if to say my mind may not remember you, but my soul does.  Thank you for all you've done.


Sorry if this is a bit long winded...the loss is still fresh...and sometimes I need to talk to people who will understand.





Posted: Sunday, March 30, 2014 1:50 AM
Joined: 4/19/2012
Posts: 414

Glojam I am so sorry for your very recent loss. I was very touched by your story about Jim and how he communicated with you and your daughter.


Be gentle with yourself, post when you need too, we all here understand the heartache and the loss.



Posted: Sunday, March 30, 2014 7:54 AM
Joined: 11/5/2013
Posts: 138

Thank you farawaydaughter. 


I feel as though he has begun his new life, his new journey.  And I must begin mine.  I also take comfort in knowing that his brain is now whole again...he can carry on an intelligent conversation...he has been freed from the fears and the infirmities that plagued him.


We are both forging new paths!

Posted: Thursday, June 5, 2014 12:08 PM
Joined: 2/6/2013
Posts: 3

Posted: Thursday, June 5, 2014 12:12 PM
Joined: 2/6/2013
Posts: 3

glojam1.... very nice.


I just lost my mom in May 2013 the week before Mother's Day...and one month after I relocated to be only 1.4 miles from her.  I was the only one (besides one terrific hospice nurse) when she passed.  I consider it an Honor to have been there. I love your story, sad though it is. But they do tell us in their own way.

Posted: Friday, June 6, 2014 9:34 AM
Joined: 11/5/2013
Posts: 138

Thank you, Grace.  And my sympathies on the loss of your Mother.  My Mom passed away over 10 years ago, and not a day goes by that I don't think of her.  There is truth to the saying "gone but not forgotten".  And I think there is something different with the loss of Mom. 


Like you, I consider it an  honor to have been there for my loved one's passing.  Jim's journey through Alzheimer's was, for the most part, a peaceful journey.  He only exhibited aggression/anger only a few times.  And once I learned what seemed to trigger these episodes, I learned to step back and work on getting him refocused.  So I was glad that the journey's end was peaceful as well.    


And he still communicates with us.  I hear his voice or his footsteps in the night...and the next day I will find something "different" around the house.  For example, two nights ago, I heard some stirring in my daughter's bedroom.  The next morning, I woke to find that the blinds in the room had been drawn closed...not in their normal open position.  I've found things under beds...knowing that I had cleaned everything from under there (and this fact was confirmed by our daughter as she helped me pull the stuff out!). 


Megan has also felt his presence although she is 300 miles away.  She will see movement out of the corner of her eye...and she lives alone.  She will be sitting on her sofa, blanket wrapped around her.  And then she will feel the blanket being raised to cover her shoulder...something her father used to do. 


Nothing scary...we are just aware that he is still with us.


I do believe...close your eyes, open your mind.  You never know what you'll experience. 


The story hasn't ended.  It's just a new chapter.