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Can't sleep
Babs Willis
Posted: Monday, May 19, 2014 9:38 PM
Joined: 1/21/2012
Posts: 157


I lost my husband on April 24 and have not been able to sleep well since. Last night was bad and I am afraid to try again tonight. The doctor gave me meds, but I hate being groggy and out of it the next day. I have no trouble keeping busy during the day, but I am beginning to see the effects of lack of sleep. I did begin exercising again, maybe that will help. Any suggestions to help me rest? I miss him so very much.

one daughter
Posted: Tuesday, May 20, 2014 10:35 AM
Joined: 1/30/2013
Posts: 1980

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your husband.  I lost my daddy last year in March.  I still have my sweet mama.  But she's late stage with ALZ. I hope you can get some rest.  I use Melatonin.  I believe it's 5 mg.  It's all natural.  So I don't feel groggy the next day.  It's a strawbery tasting tablet that you just put it in your mouth & let it dissolve.  Take care of yourself.
Posted: Tuesday, May 20, 2014 2:51 PM
Joined: 5/27/2013
Posts: 37

Babs, so sorry for your loss. Prayers and condolences to you.  As Onedaughter said,  Melatonin is a good choice since it is natural.  Exercising is also helpful.  Those two things helped me the first few weeks after mom passed.  Now I drink an herbal tea each night that is supposed to have a "relaxing" affect.  April 24 was like yesterday so it will take time.  Be gentle with yourself.  Again, my sympathies to you.
Posted: Tuesday, May 20, 2014 6:09 PM
Joined: 8/22/2013
Posts: 146

Babs, I am so very sorry for your husband passed on April 19th...the last six weeks were so terrible and I was under so much stress, not sleeping my Dr. gave me Trazadone (50 mg) to help me with the passing, funeral etc.  I did get enough rest to get me through it all.  I did not like feeling drowsy though in the morning, I cut the pills in half, enough to make me rest.  I now go to the Y and exercise every day, keep really busy and by the time I go to bed I am usually tired enough to rest.  I have been taking a walk in the evening also, I live in a condo, so lots of times I run into someone to talk to, seems to release some of the stress and loneliness.   It is really hard, even though I know he is in a better place.  So many things to take care of, today I saw my attorney and I felt so drained afterwards I came home and took a nap.  You are in my Prayers....thinking of you.  Everyone tells me to take it a day or hour at a time.......


Babs Willis
Posted: Tuesday, May 20, 2014 10:00 PM
Joined: 1/21/2012
Posts: 157

Thanks so much for the words of support. I will take it one step at a time. Mary, sorry for your recent loss. It seems strange to be glad that our loved ones are at peace, yet we also grieve so hard that it robs us of sleep and sometimes sanity. Off to try sleep again. Good night


Posted: Thursday, May 22, 2014 12:15 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 2105

I found it very hard to turn off my thoughts and I could not sleep.  You may want to speak with a grief counselor and maybe consider a grief support group.  This is hard to go through alone and sometimes just speaking about it, can be such a release.  It took me a long while to be able to sleep and when I did, I would wake up thinking and not be able to go back to sleep. 


It's very helpful to talk to someone who understands, this is something we need help with and guidance through.  This may be a very good thing for you speaking with a grief counselor, you don't have to do this by yourself.