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Mom passed 2 yrs. ago today 7/10
Posted: Thursday, July 10, 2014 9:34 AM
Joined: 4/19/2012
Posts: 414

It has been a journey that is for sure. As I know that 1 year is tough, 2 years makes it REAL. 


I don't want to remember much of that day or the days that followed. Dad died the day of Moms funeral and the few days before that were a blur of trying to get there from almost 3000 miles and one sick dog to board.


I am and was so glad moms suffering was over, and how she did suffer, this ALZ is one ugly disease. She was and is finally free. That gave me a lot of comfort back then, and still does.


I am having flowers put in between their graves since dads is just 4 days (actually 3 days and 1 hour into the next day) from now. White flowers with 2 red roses to signify "them". Hopefully they won't be "stolen"........a few of you know that happens to things I put on their graves.


Mom was 95 when she passed. I sure wish the last 4 years would have been easier, and better.........such is family dynamics.


I think I am more at peace knowing she is at peace than wishing she was here.

Her last 4 years were terrible.


Hugs to you Mom and Love as always, Me

Posted: Monday, July 14, 2014 9:44 PM
Joined: 7/14/2014
Posts: 26


It's good that you remember your mother. Honoring parents is a great thing and a commandment. 

May God bless your parents and your mom especially on this special day. You can say a prayer for her. 

Posted: Tuesday, July 15, 2014 10:29 AM
Joined: 4/19/2012
Posts: 414

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Posted: Wednesday, July 16, 2014 9:49 AM
Joined: 3/11/2012
Posts: 433

Hi faraway,


It's good to "see" you. I don't come to the boards much anymore. I suppose it's part of the healing process or maybe part of moving on. I don't know. But I do check in once in a while to see how everybody is doing. It's always nice to see a name I know.


June 22 was the 2 year anniversary for me losing my Mom as well. It seems like there were so many of us right around the same time. I remember your story because it was just so heartbreaking. I know it was so tough losing one parent, I can't even imagine losing both at once.


I, too, am glad that Mom's suffering is over. I'd give anything to have her back again ~ but not like she was. I wouldn't put her through that again for anything in this world.




Posted: Thursday, July 17, 2014 8:19 AM
Joined: 4/19/2012
Posts: 414

Hi Ocean, Thanks for dropping a line. Yes there was about 6? or so, that we all lost a parent around the same time. It was so nice we could all grieve together and go through all those firsts together. It was great to have that support.


Just finished dads 2 yr. now. Couldn't or wouldn't think about that day much as now it is a memory of "gee dad died the day of moms funeral".......not a great memory to have. So I just chose not to think about it.


Sounds like you are doing ok now. That is a good thing.

Hugs to you.

Jo C.
Posted: Sunday, July 20, 2014 9:21 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 11988

We will always be the child of our parents no matter how old we are and no matter how long ago they have left this earth.

I have moved beyond the early rawness of the illness and death of my mother, but still miss her in a softer sort of way.  The feelings I have are poignant and at times I have a soft wish, (that I know is not a real wish), that I could see her once again as she was prior to dementia, in her little house where she was so happy and content.  I wish I could still pick up the telephone to call and share things with her as we used to do so often. 


She is buried in Michigan, far away from where I am.  On special days, I have flowers placed in the cemetery.  I know she cannot see them, but I am too far away to visit her grave, so this is a different way of visiting.


The florist in that small township is very kind.  They know that I cannot make a personal visit, so whenever flowers are placed, they take a photograph of the grave with the flowers and email it to me.  It is really thoughtful of them and I appreciate it very much.


I send my understanding and best wishes from one daughter to another,



Posted: Sunday, July 20, 2014 10:20 AM
Joined: 4/19/2012
Posts: 414

Jo C., My parents are in MI also. Originally I used the florist and the cemetery was kind enough to take a photo and email it to me. Then I heard about a person whose business is to tend to graves for us the "faraway" ones. I have been using her ever since. She too sends a photo, and keeps in touch regarding status, as my mothers bday flowers have been taken 2x now. She does about 5 cemeteries in her area. She will plant flowers, tend to them, keep the graves clean, and deliver just about anything to the graves. Such a lovely thing to be able to have when we are faraway.


I always feel my mom sees the flowers and approves. I can hear her exclaim how much she likes them. She loved flowers. I think my grumpy dad (he'd say "don't spend the money") but now would also accept the "gift" in good spirits as well. Especially because he knows/knew how much mom loved flowers.

Posted: Sunday, July 20, 2014 9:28 PM
Joined: 12/2/2011
Posts: 726

Hi Faraway -- You are so right when you say 2 years makes it real.  That's a very good way to describe it.  


I share this anniversary with you and so many others here.  It was strange how we all seemed to lose loved ones around the same time.  I don't come by as often, but I was glad to see your post.  I have been thinking of you and hope you are well.  Hugs...


Posted: Saturday, July 26, 2014 1:12 PM
Joined: 4/19/2012
Posts: 414

Hi MLB61, Good to "see" you too.


Yes we all had losses so close together, bad as it was we supported one another through that first year. I ever so appreciate everyone for that, for myself. It helped.


I am ok some days. I did finally get another dog, but I am not "in love", long story. It is good I have that dog energy around me, and the stray cat I took in........but I'd give anything to have Sidekick back or at least spend 5 minutes with him and know we are still "one".........I miss him so.


I found a quote, author unknown. And added it to a picture I have of him. See the attached.


That is my Side......he was so intermingled with the the parents, so ill himself, and then there is/was me.........he is my heart dog and I miss him so.

File Attachment(s):
yellowmovedtoside-001.jpg (104208 bytes)

Posted: Monday, July 28, 2014 6:23 AM
Joined: 12/2/2011
Posts: 726

Oh, faraway -- That is beautiful.  What a gorgeous picture.  The quote is perfect.  I am sure that Side is with you every day.  It's just like with people, the ones you love the most, you miss the most.  I'm glad to hear you got another dog, but you'll never replace Sidekick.  Hugs to you...