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Has anyone joined a support group??
Posted: Friday, July 17, 2015 7:02 PM
Joined: 3/19/2013
Posts: 314

Wondering if anyone has attended a support group for those who have lost someone and if it was of any help to you

Sea Field
Posted: Friday, July 17, 2015 9:41 PM
Joined: 8/5/2012
Posts: 1872

I went in 2010 after my mom passed (alz). At the time i was mourning for mom, a friend that passed a few months earlier and Tom's mid stage dementia.

It was somewhat helpful. Most of the people that were regulars there seemed to benefit quite a bit.

I also tried going to one after Tom passed. I didn't resonate with it. Most of the people who talked were angry - at doctors, hospitals, nursing homes for not preventing their LOs deaths. That just wasn't where I was at, so I didn't go back. Of course I really didn't give it much of a chance since I only went once.

Probably depends on the personalities of the people who are attending. Can be helpful to discuss what you are feeling with others who understand.

If you try one, I would be curious to know what you think.

Posted: Saturday, July 18, 2015 1:41 AM
Joined: 9/4/2014
Posts: 418

Hi Leland

I went once but it was to depressing for me, then I went one on one with hospice bereavement council a she just kept looking at her watch, I felt like I was taking her time, maybe going to lunch or whatever, don't think I would go again.

It is what it is just hard, hard, hard, I felt more support here on this forum, but it's good for some people just not me.

Good luck and hang in there, Joel

Posted: Saturday, July 18, 2015 1:38 PM
Joined: 10/6/2012
Posts: 924

Hi, Leland. This is a really good question.

Perhaps as Cynthia and Joel mentioned, it's worth giving it a try to see if it helps. Maybe the local Alzheimer's Association in your area has a group?

I would definitely stay away from a group where members just dump all their emotions without any direction or consultation from the group leader. I wouldn't want to walk away from the group feeling like I was carrying more sorrow that what I've already got. I think that sometimes the best meetings are the discussions that the members have with each other before the meeting actually begins!

I've been reading your posts over the past year but forgot one aspect: are you volunteering? Many experts believe that it's one of the best ways to get out of our sorrow for a while and have a different experience. Maybe you can volunteer at your local library?

Take care, Debra.

Posted: Sunday, July 19, 2015 3:43 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 4122

Lost mom to AD,failure to thrive,on June 7 2015. Hospice offers free bereavement counseling for one year so I am taking advantage of the service as mom's death was not a peaceful one. a bit traumatic for me.
Posted: Sunday, July 19, 2015 9:04 PM
Joined: 1/23/2012
Posts: 781

Hi all,

In order for me to join ,it would have to be a positive " my glass is half full" kind of thing, I can cry alone, and my kids want me to focus on healing and recovery. You know ,no mater how we feel, life goes on ,animals need to be fed, bills need to be payed, and on and on.I don't have any complaints about the things mentioned. My husband docs were great, and the people from Vitas wich allowed us to keep him home till the very end were absolute Angels one and all, I can in no way say enough good things about all of them.They were with us for almost a month and I am forever grateful.I just wish peace and healing to everyone.

Hugs to all Surfergirl

Posted: Monday, July 20, 2015 11:28 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 2105

I had one-on-one counseling after my father's death. There was a lot going on, my daughter diagnosed with cancer just one week prior to my dad's death. Relationship with sibling deteriorated significantly during the years of caring for my father. I had to talk to someone objective. Many caregivers have a feeling of guilt when their loved ones pass. We always expect ourselves to be perfect, but we're not and beat ourselves up. I found the counseling to be helpful to put things in perspective.

It is definitely worth giving it a shot, you never will know unless you try it.

Posted: Monday, July 20, 2015 7:52 PM
Joined: 3/19/2013
Posts: 314

Still don't know if a group would help me or not, i called hospice and they have a group start in Sept thats a long time to wait and I hope to be in a better place by then.

I do pretty good during the day with errands and I played some golf, it's the evenings and nights alone in the house that I miss Joyce so very much I hope it gets easier soon


Posted: Tuesday, July 21, 2015 10:56 AM
Joined: 9/4/2014
Posts: 418


that is how I feel, can make it through the day OK but at night wow, a different story ,I get so depressed and lost, hang in there , were in the same boat.


Posted: Wednesday, October 21, 2015 7:59 PM
Joined: 4/22/2013
Posts: 842

Leland (and Joel)...EXACTLY!! Hospice here offered grief counseling, but I didn't take them up on their offer as I felt that my grief was normal - not excessive, not unable to function because of it, etc. And, I lost my son 5 years ago so when I lost my husband I knew that I would survive and be okay eventually. Next week will make a year since he passed away, but still I have a hard time going to bed at night!!! I find myself so very sleepy and refusing to get up and go to bed. The house never seems as empty and silent as it does when you turn off the lights and tv and crawl into that bed, so I put if off for as long as I can. I know this is an old post, but still wanted you to know that you're not alone. I wish we had a support group around here...if for nothing else than to build up some friendships with others who are single. It's no longer comfortable to go off with married couples and I wish I had a pool of single friends to call on when I want to go out and eat, need help with a house repair/question, etc.