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I feel like I'm losing my mind
300sun
Posted: Wednesday, October 28, 2015 3:25 PM
Joined: 2/20/2014
Posts: 294


I cannot believe I'm the same person that cared for my mother all those years. I am now having anxiety and problems coping.

How did my mind get so broken? I could not have cared for her like I am now. Wonder what happens next.

rhosarjo
Posted: Thursday, October 29, 2015 10:20 PM
Joined: 4/22/2013
Posts: 842


You couldn't afford to have anxiety and problems coping while you were caregiving.  It's only now that it has the opportunity to come out.  It's like a pot collecting dripping water - eventually it is so full that it must spill out.  And I've always been told that you're only losing your mind if you're not aware of it - so you're going to be okay a little further down the road.  Maybe you could try journaling every day, getting in some good walks in the fresh air each day, playing a musical instrument if you know how, etc.  But I do think that what you're feeling is very normal and very understandable.

((hugs))


Sea Field
Posted: Friday, October 30, 2015 5:25 PM
Joined: 8/5/2012
Posts: 1872


300sun,  I don't have anything to add - rhosarjo said it well.  But I did want you to know that I hear you.  Though I can't offer much in the way of help,  I did want you to know that I stand witness, in a reverent way, to all that you are going through.

Sorry you have found yourself in the midst of such a time.    

Sending heartfelt blessings your way,   Cynthia


socwkr
Posted: Friday, October 30, 2015 7:33 PM
Joined: 10/6/2012
Posts: 924


Hi, there.
Leland made a really good point on a different thread:  we've got to experience the grief in order to feel better.  It's sad but true.
Hugs and peace, Debra.

300sun
Posted: Saturday, October 31, 2015 12:08 AM
Joined: 2/20/2014
Posts: 294


Thanks everybody. 

I met with the Hospice bereavement counselor today, it was my second meeting.

I feel so much better. 

The grief is stirring up a lot of old traumas. I guess it isn't unusual and it makes me feel better understanding why I've been so anxious and desperate. My mother was my only living parent, when my father died my grief was different and we had to focus on Mom. 

So, all of you are right about what I'm going through and I thank you for taking the time to share and post.

I'm going to continue posting. I know most of you don't know me, I've been around for years sharing your lives. I was on here with a different profile, I don't even remember my profile name from before.

I used to think when my mother passed I would never want to be on this site again. 

I still need to be here.