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Every morning
bela
Posted: Tuesday, June 21, 2016 12:42 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 4122


From Angela Miller:

" Every morning it takes everything within me to force my feet to walk through another day without you."

Me: Some mornings I wake up crying still....

I have never known such sadness.

 


blfbrat
Posted: Tuesday, June 21, 2016 11:48 AM
Joined: 2/15/2014
Posts: 168


I used to wake up and feel tears flowing down my cheeks, I did not know I was crying.  It is overwhelming especially at first.  I thought because I was a widow in training, always knowing it is inevitible, I would handle it better,  I fooled myself.  It has been 6 months,  I am more emotional right now, last month a daughter was married,  this month the last daughter is getting married, he would have loved to have been there, we had Christmas, his birthday, valentine's day, our anniversary.  I don't know when I started to cry less and some days it depends on the day.  Hugs to you, just let your feelings flow, they are what you should do.
jfkoc
Posted: Tuesday, June 21, 2016 1:03 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 20125


Suggested with love...have you had a complete/thorough physical recently? Caregiving takes a physical toll on us. I know. I ended up in the hospital and now use oxygen at night!
bela
Posted: Wednesday, June 22, 2016 6:04 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 4122


To jfkoc I had an er visit a few months before mom died . Excruciating side/back pai thought it was kidney stones lots of tests no stones (still don't know was the pain was) but anovariancyst and kidney cyst were found both r stable st this time post my fathers death in '93 cyst in each ready at different times surgical removal both not cancerous - yep we need to have ourselves thoroughly checked out
jfkoc
Posted: Wednesday, June 22, 2016 6:23 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 20125


to bela...that was over a year ago...wouldn't hurt to have thyroid, D and B12 checked. What we did and now grieving...it's  rough. My heart is with you.
bela
Posted: Saturday, July 2, 2016 12:12 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 4122


jfkoc and others

indeed it is rough- i had a repeat ct scan (2nd) about 4 months ago- i did have blood work done and they found high cholesterol.  Taking medication.  I'm in agreement.  Time for a revisit with the blood work and looking at those things you pointed out.


His Daughter
Posted: Sunday, July 3, 2016 11:47 AM
Joined: 6/25/2014
Posts: 2270


Bela,

There is no doubt that this grief process takes it's tole on our bodies.  Please take care of yourself right now.  You deserve it.   Your mom would thank you from the bottom of her heart for all you did.  And now, she would want you to carry on healthy and strong.  

Hopefully your recent doctors appointments will help you feel better.  But this grief thing can really hurt.  There are several good books that help put it into perspective.  We are making a huge transition in life.  The one I recommend is called "Good Grief".  It's short and to the point.  Exactly what we need we we are having trouble focusing.  (Another very common thing that happens when we are grieving.)  

You know I wish you well, and all the hugs I can send your way.

 


bela
Posted: Saturday, July 9, 2016 10:20 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 4122


Thank you His Daughter...and everyone else. It seems my hair is thinning so definately need the thyroid check...

Oh heck, just check everything.

 


KML
Posted: Thursday, July 14, 2016 5:56 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 2105


We ran on fumes for so long and eventually we come up on empty.  Take care as best you can now, we know good health is precious.
bela
Posted: Tuesday, July 26, 2016 2:50 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 4122


Fumes is to put it mildly- the long days and short nights; the worry, the uncertainties, the hope the fear, the joy, the love and ultimately the loss we knew would come

Thinking of all of you

Bela