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3 weeks since move to MC
Posted: Sunday, September 25, 2016 12:25 PM
Joined: 3/17/2013
Posts: 32

I have been reading all the discussions on placement of a LO.  I can only say that I now understand what taking the weight off your shoulders means...I did not realize how stressed I was!  I haven't had any chest pain, BP is down, I am not reaching for food to console me, and I am sleeping all night!  The first week I was a bit of a mess, did I do this for him or me??  But he is adjusting well, he is content, and makes no protest when I leave just says "Hurry back". 

I have had several wonderful days with my grandchildren, not having to keep them quiet or away from grandpa.  I have had coffee with friends, gone to church, went for long walks.  I feel like I am living again and the best is I feel much happier when I am with my hubby. 

Hardest decision I have ever made but it now feels right. 

Posted: Sunday, September 25, 2016 1:19 PM
Joined: 2/3/2016
Posts: 278

So happy for you. He is content and you have reclaimed your life. That's a story we all like to hear.
Posted: Sunday, September 25, 2016 7:52 PM
Joined: 7/15/2016
Posts: 39

You have NO idea how happy I was to read your post. I am on the verge of placing my DH in a brand new memory support unit and am of course terribly torn about it. Everything you say is what the people at the unit are telling me.

May I ask what stage he is? And how long?

I'm wondering if I'm thinking of placing my DH too soon or too early.

Posted: Monday, September 26, 2016 1:14 PM
Joined: 3/17/2013
Posts: 32

mml...  I had hoped you would read my post.  He is in early to mid stage 6.  He was dx in 2013 with mild cognitive impairment which of course progressed. Looking back the signs began over 10 years ago so around age 56.

   It was when two of our kids each took a weekend to watch him for me they were shocked at how stressed out they got.  It is so nice to be able to get things done without him right behind me.  AND most of all I am now able to sit and enjoy the time I spend with him at the home.  You will have a lot of "should I have done this" but it is good for both of you.  This past weekend my kids said "gee mom you are smiling!"  so it was worth it.

Posted: Tuesday, September 27, 2016 8:53 AM
Joined: 3/7/2012
Posts: 2655

Thank you for sharing this EMay. I know placement is something so many of us think / worry about. The stress of being a caregiver 24/7 is overwhelming, and many times as caregivers we don't even realize how incredibly stressed we are until we place our LO.

Sweet story for the both of you.


Posted: Tuesday, September 27, 2016 9:35 AM
Joined: 10/1/2015
Posts: 616


I can't tell you how much it means to read this.

Posted: Thursday, September 29, 2016 5:26 PM
Joined: 7/15/2016
Posts: 39

EMay -- You are a wonder. You have NO idea how happy I am to read your post. I am currently agonizing about placing him -- but it's probably the best for him -- and I need to think about that -- up until now I think I have been more concerned about ME and not what's best for him. I'm scared to give up my current role as care giver because I don't know anything else. He is currently beginnings of stage 6 -- has been only four years since he was diagnosed.

Your post gives me hope. Thank you.

Posted: Saturday, October 1, 2016 10:41 PM
Joined: 7/15/2016
Posts: 39

This is my favorite post ever! So uplifting and encouraging for me. 
 Sometimes I wonder if I keep him with me for my own sake instead of what might be best for him.

To tell you the truth, I'm afraid I don't know how to visit with him. I know what it's like live with him and try to work around him, but I don't know anymore what it's like to just BE with him.

Maybe I'm keeping him with me for MY sake instead of his?

Do you understand what I'm trying to say? I sure hope so!


Posted: Monday, October 3, 2016 1:28 PM
Joined: 3/17/2013
Posts: 32

I fully understand what you mean.  Instead of saying here is your shirt,  brush your teeth now, etc etc.  So when I go to the MC I find I struggle a bit as he doesn't converse so I sit and tell him the latest news, brought him some sandpaper and cut up wood pieces so he can sand the wood while I am there.  We walk around the grounds or inside the home if raining.  I plan to take his favorite book next visit and start reading to him.  When they can't visit it is very hard.  I find we sit next to each other and hold hands.  I have just spent the past four days with two of my children and their families and it is such a wonderful feeling to be able to visit, play with the grandkids and not worry about my hubby. I feel human again. We are dealing with a really nasty disease!!  Hang in there!!