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DH died 2 wks ago today
biker013
Posted: Sunday, May 10, 2020 8:01 AM
Joined: 1/11/2020
Posts: 192


Last night I drank Sleepytime Tea, hoping it would help me get to sleep.  I still had a hard time getting to sleep.  He died at about 3 am April 26 - I woke up to go to the bathroom.  I looked at the clock - it was 3 am.  When I went back to bed, I couldn't really go back to sleep.  I finally got up about 7:15 am.  I called the hospice counselor - she told me that 3 am Sunday is like an alarm time - DHs death was the change from wife and caregiver to widow.  Do a soothing activity or soothing thoughts or soothing music, etc to get back to sleep.  Other days are fine - I wake up at what was my normal time for work.
Army_Vet60
Posted: Sunday, May 10, 2020 8:37 AM
Joined: 6/21/2019
Posts: 959


Hi,

I've been going through a similar experience since last Aug.

My wife died between 4-5 am.

I started waking up every morning around that time.

I'd lay awake for at least an hour before falling asleep for a few hours more.

I like mind puzzles so I bought a book of various Sudoku puzzles.

When I went to bed, I'd work on a puzzle until I start falling asleep.

When I woke at 4-5 am, I'd work on a puzzle until falling asleep.

It did help me go back to sleep quicker.

Doing these puzzles has become a sort of nightly ritual now to get through the night.

If you're losing too much sleep waking up at 3 am, maybe there's something you can think of to help you sleep, such as reading a book or watching a movie, or doing a mind puzzle? 


biker013
Posted: Sunday, May 10, 2020 9:02 AM
Joined: 1/11/2020
Posts: 192


Thanks for the feedback - I like crochet - I can try crochet.  I also colored while DH was pacing, etc - I can also try coloring.
TessC
Posted: Sunday, May 10, 2020 10:49 AM
Joined: 4/1/2014
Posts: 5190


Nighttime is worse for me too and it's been more than 6 months! I keep reliving the days my mom was dying and my heart aches, but I tell myself this is common and it will lessen in time. For some people it just takes longer and that is OK, but I have to believe it will get better. ON nights I cannot get to sleep or back to sleep-I just stay up reading till I am exhausted. Thankfully I am retired so I don't have to get up at any firm hour and just sleep in till I want to get up. DH knows better than to wake me up, lol!

I hope you will get to sleeping better soon.


Army_Vet60
Posted: Sunday, May 10, 2020 11:27 AM
Joined: 6/21/2019
Posts: 959


TessC wrote:

I keep reliving the days my mom was dying and my heart aches.

That's what's ingrained in my head as well. My wife lay next to me from 4:15 to 4:45 taking her last breaths.  I could literally feel what she was feeling.  I can accept she died, but I still have trouble understanding why TPTB gave her such an ugly ending. I suppose when I can accept how she died, I'll stop waking up at that hour.

elainechem
Posted: Sunday, May 10, 2020 1:34 PM
Joined: 7/30/2013
Posts: 6034


My husband died at 5:00pm, so that isn't the problem. But my sleep had been disrupted for quite awhile before he died. It was like, every time he rolled over in bed, I was wide awake. At the end, I was taking 2mg of Ativan to sleep. Now, I'm taking 1mg. After more than two months, I'm sleeping better, but it still isn't great. I'd like to get off the drug. I'll talk to my doctor when I see him next month.