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Mom's passing
MomandMeJourney
Posted: Saturday, August 29, 2020 6:03 AM
Joined: 1/5/2019
Posts: 76


*Original Post in Caregivers Forum*  Thanks Iris L. for pointing me here

I received a call Monday that Mom was non-responsive.  I was able to visit the facility and surprised by what I saw for which I was not prepared (I don't think we ever are.) She had declined 90% overnight.  Hospice was contacted.  I stayed with Mom and told her stories and held her hand.  Then I kissed her forehead and said I'd be back 'tomorrow'.

Tuesday I visited and Mom was awake, had taken her meds/drinking, noticed me right when I walked in and said, "I love you"  It was a wonderful visit for both Mom and I.  She and I told many stories and reminisced, especially about her deceased son (my brother).  She was even able to answer some questions from the Hospice nurse.

Wednesday Mom was non-responsive.  I sang to her and she cried.  I was with Mom when she passed.  While difficult to watch, I'm so grateful for Hospice and having the opportunity to be there for Mom.  Now Mom is with her son to rest in peace.

Thank you all for your support.  

**Note: for anyone who may have followed any of Mom/Me story, now unfortunately the battle with the siblings continues re: Mom's funeral/burial plans (even though they are outlined in her Will, Agreements obtained/paid for.)  Her Estate will be a legal battle too as Mom named myself and my eldest sibling as Co-Executrices.  Wish me luck and send good thoughts as I try to deal with the logistics with the siblings while processing my grief.  Is there a place on this forum for that kind of support? (LOL)


TessC
Posted: Saturday, August 29, 2020 6:24 PM
Joined: 4/1/2014
Posts: 5199


I extended my sympathies for your loss in your first message on the Caregiver Fourm but I again pray for your healing and peace of mind as the days and weeks progress. I hope the issues with your mother's estate and siblings will not be as bad as you think. Sadly, too many families have these issues. Like I said before, I used what I knew were my mom's wishes to handle things with my siblings. Mom always told us to get along and whenever she prayed-that was her wish as well.  Good luck as you deal with the funeral and other duties.
MomandMeJourney
Posted: Monday, August 31, 2020 9:31 AM
Joined: 1/5/2019
Posts: 76


Thank you TessC.

I hope the siblings will get along too — sadly that has not been the case.  My father passed in June, it was a battle to cremate his remains per his wishes.  My eldest sister (who is co-executrix of Mom's will with me) is now trying to bury Dad's remains, that she has, using his Estate funds and on the same day and time as Mom's service.

I'm trying to move through the hurt and still do the right thing.  Unfortunately laws don't protect the innocent to rest in peace.


TessC
Posted: Monday, August 31, 2020 10:14 PM
Joined: 4/1/2014
Posts: 5199


I'm sorry you are still having a lot of stress but it's hard to get around that until all the work is done. I buried my mom's ashes in the plot next to my dad's. It is not uncommon. And to have it done the same time as your mom's service probably won't upset her in heaven. While we were arranging for my mom's funeral, my sibling got second rites for her ashes to be buried in the same plot as my mom's. 

 I hope the rest of the estate will go more smoothly for you! Take good care.