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Scarey changes
Posted: Thursday, November 19, 2020 7:44 PM
Joined: 5/11/2017
Posts: 116

In process of trying to sell our house and moving to independant living facility. So much to do and I know I need to ask for help.. Often I have doubts and fears because it seems like so much .Any tip s on down sizing from a 3 bedroom home to 960 ft. Sq foot apartment?
Posted: Thursday, November 19, 2020 7:51 PM
Joined: 5/24/2020
Posts: 94

Best advice I received. 3 piles for stuff.

  1. Broken etc. toss

  2. Haven’t touch worn or used in year sell

   3. Keep things you will miss  

Sometimes putting things away for awhile then seeing if you miss it helps  

Hope this helps


Posted: Thursday, November 19, 2020 8:25 PM
Joined: 12/21/2018
Posts: 728

  1. Embrace the opportunity to let go of things that you no longer want or need. 
  2. Focus on what you do need. For example you need utensils, but probably not a formal service setting for 18. 
  3. Take joy in passing along belongings that can be useful to others in need. 
  4. Remember that you can have a fond memory without the item it is attached to. 
  5. Enlist the help of others.

Posted: Friday, November 20, 2020 7:06 AM
Joined: 4/2/2018
Posts: 3657

We went from a large home with a basement to a much smaller one with no basement. I knew when I decided to pull the trigger, there would be a lot of things that would not go with us. I had to let go of a lot of woodworking tools because there was no place for a shop. Also did not take things we didn't really need to take. I miss those things, but we are in a much better place for us. Ask a trusted friend for help figuring everything out. When you put something in the "get rid of" pile, leave it there.
Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2020 1:24 PM
Joined: 3/7/2012
Posts: 1750

Good suggestions have been given.

From time to time, in life we have to make important decisions. We do it, oftentimes, in fear and trembling.

My experience...

When my husband, may he Rest In Peace, was diagnosed with dementia of the Alzheimer's type, we knew that we would have to make very difficult decisions. We were embarking on a new, uber difficult, and unknown odyssey with many dark clouds in the horizon. Believe me, most of our decisions throughout the dementia journey were made in fear and trembling.

We sold our cottage by the lake. We sold our house in the suburb. 

We moved from a suburban house to a one bedroom apartment on a quaint village. The apartment building was built right next to a tiny mall. And it was a 10 minute drive to the nearest hospital. This was one of the best decisions we ever made. We never looked back. 

After the move, a few years later, my immortal beloved died while being nestled in my arms inside our new tiny nest. Sudden cardiac death.

After his dx, my husband said to me, "My final destiny has been revealed. Let us get rid of our stuff. We are not like the ancient Pharaohs of Egypt. We will not be buried with our stuff inside a pyramid, a Royal tomb."

When we sold the cottage and the house, most items inside went with the sale. 

We gave to our daughter: family heirlooms, precious books and my husband's writings, sculptures and paintings. We donated the rest.

With extra shekels in the bank from the sale of the cottage and the house, we bought new furniture (living/dining/bedroom), new appliances, new dishes, new cooking utensils and the necessary kitchen stuff. Everything had to fit inside our small new nest. It was all delivered on moving day. We only had to pack clothing, shoes, and important papers. 

Moving, in the time of dementia, it is super difficult but doable. Try not to fret excessively, it could paralyze you.

My suggestion, for what is worth: Take some of the money from the sale of the house and spend it on your comfort and joy. It might mean hiring a moving coordinator to ease your job and, most importantly, to bring calm and peace to your mind.

Good luck.

Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2020 2:07 PM
Joined: 7/26/2019
Posts: 95

When we down sized - I got the help of 'professional' garage sales women.  They did everything - sorted, dusted and priced them.  For fee, they asked for 30 per cent of sales. They also brought some of their own inventories to sell.  They were also responsible for taking out for donation stuff that didn't sell.  

We moved to a 2 bd 2  ba  apartment and it is minimally furnished - just a place for two.  

Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2020 7:21 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 19262

I would start with what I know I will take. Next pile is the maybe pile followed by sell, relative or friend then charity. You will have things that need to be thrown out. Do that as you go along.

Hmmmm....what to do with artichoke plates, mine and my mother's...never

Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2020 9:12 PM
Joined: 11/19/2020
Posts: 59

My husband and I have had to clean out 3 different households after the loss of loved ones.  After doing that you look at objects differently.  Now, even before my DH's dementia issues, I'd always say to him.....someday when our son and daughter have to go through our stuff...will they or anyone else want this.  If it's a no and we don't use it either, then I see no need to keep it.  If it's things our kids definitely want, then they're welcome to take it whenever we no longer need it.  Everything else is just stuff.....