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almost like hoarding
Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2020 8:19 PM
Joined: 8/8/2020
Posts: 19

Help.  is hoarding another thing that i have to deal with in stage 4?
Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2020 11:41 PM
Joined: 2/14/2014
Posts: 58

I generally hoard things! Now with covid pandemic, I do not feel bad asking for extra napkins or buying rubbing alcohol, bleach, Lysol, peroxide, paper towels, toilet paper...on every outing

I am assuming, this bothers you? Hope not! 

Posted: Monday, November 23, 2020 1:01 AM
Joined: 4/4/2018
Posts: 204

My DW has always been somewhat frugal.  Now in the beginning of stage 6 she is definitely a hoarder.  She fights against throwing anything away.  There was a thread on covertly downsizing by caretakers a month or two ago. Reading that I would say many middle to late stage LO's develop a tendency to hoard things.
Posted: Monday, November 23, 2020 4:21 AM
Joined: 8/22/2020
Posts: 615

Rick my partner is stage 4 edging into 5 and I see this some, she's always saved things. Oddly it's most noticeable with the mail, she won't throw junk mail away and wants every solicitation. I've gotten in the habit of walking the dog to the mailbox every afternoon so that I can get the mail and I go by the barn on t h e way back to throw out the junk before I get back to the house. So far she hasn't seen through this.
Posted: Monday, November 23, 2020 4:40 AM
Joined: 4/2/2018
Posts: 3657

I'm not sure what stage my wife is in. Stage 5? Stage 6? I have not seen any sign of hoarding.
Rescue mom
Posted: Monday, November 23, 2020 7:22 AM
Joined: 10/12/2018
Posts: 1763

Unsure what you mean by hoarding, but my DH with Alzheimer’s would not throw anything away, starting maybe stage 4-5.

I’d find piles of used tissue and paper towels, junk mail,  rags, used containers, pretty much anything small. He’d also get stuff out of trash cans. Sometimes it seemed he tried to hide the stuff, other times he just piled it up wherever.

That lasted about a year and still occasionally recurs. From what I see here and IRL, it’s fairly common.

As others mentioned, I had to throw away or de clutter only at times he could not see me doing it. If he did not see me, he never noticed stuff was gone (another revelation, I worried he’d be upset. Nope, did not even notice)

Posted: Monday, November 23, 2020 10:26 AM
Joined: 2/1/2018
Posts: 100

I did see similar actions by my DW when she was in the earlier stages all though I'm not sure I would call it hoarding. I think that she would just forget that she purchased things and would buy them again. After I took over things I would find multiple items she had bought. Mostly makeup, kitchen, and bathroom items and most were consumables.
Posted: Monday, November 30, 2020 9:47 AM
Joined: 6/12/2016
Posts: 1323

My Mom is stage 5. She does not gather BUT we can not throw anything away or move anything. 

Posted: Monday, November 30, 2020 10:10 AM
Joined: 6/19/2018
Posts: 147

Not everyone hoards/ gathers. My SIL, while still able to be left alone for an hour or so, (or so was thought), went through a throwing away stage. While BIL was out she tore up and threw out things like insurance papers, passports, medical records, photos,  etc. She bagged them up and threw away the trash while he was out. No idea how long she had been doing it. He only discovered it when he opened where they were kept, and they were gone. He did get documents replaced, photos gone forever, but it was a huge pain.
Posted: Monday, November 30, 2020 4:26 PM
Joined: 2/16/2018
Posts: 299

DH has become a gatherer, does hoarding imply that you know where your stuff is?

He's like a thief (but is one of the most honest men I ever knew).  Anything is fair game; the neighbor's trash bin, the newspaper, my necklace, wash cloths, quilt off my bed...and he just stashes stuff, but 5 minutes later, he has no idea where anything is, so I can just re-claim and put things back where they belong.  My sister's little boy was like that when he was little; she used to have to empty his pockets before they went home after a visit.

DH has delusions that other people live with us, so he 'hides' things, like the remote for the TV was gone for days, only to turn up stashed behind a stack of cups in a rarely-looked in cabinet.  We also have the MIM (man in the mirror) and he takes things to share with him.



Posted: Tuesday, December 1, 2020 1:54 PM
Joined: 2/17/2017
Posts: 137

It's frustrating, isn't it? My DH doesn't hoard so much as he rummages through things all the time. It's like he wants to reassure himself his stuff is still there. And he hides things. We constantly are looking for his phone or wallet. I have a Tile application for those items, but haven't quite figured out how to get it going.

When we were downsizing, I took 4 kitchen bags full of papers to be shredded. He kept every bank statement and credit card bill from the last 20 years in our basement. At least that stuff is gone. But he moves underwear and socks from one drawer to another. 

Trying to keep it straight is frustrating. I have to pretty much hide the important papers - been thinking of actually getting a safe. 

Hang in there. I guess eventually this activity stops.