Joined: 11/4/2014
Posts: 394
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In the days leading up to Christmas 2010. DW was feeling a little "off her game "...Her boss let her take some holidays and return in the New Year. I had noticed a few things with her memory, and general well being. We just put it down to Christmas , with all the hoopla and throw in, the accompanying stress.
January 31 2011 ...Was the day of inconsolable tears ..I'll never know what exactly brought this on . I believe she made a mistake , or something embarrassed her at work? After the tears dried up a bit , she told me she was never returning to the job she loved and excelled at. ???
DW was 6 days away from her 55th birthday. With 37 plus years of service , we figured "take the reduced early pension " We didn't, on the chance she might change her mind ?? ( I had accepted a package 2 years earlier )
With kids educated, married and off on their own ..Lets go have a good time . Or so we planned. ??
November 2011; The Neurologist sits us down and proceeds to tell us "After extensive testing MRI, cognitive testing etc, etc the diagnosis 95 percent chance Non familial younger onset Alzheimers .."
February 13 2017, 8 days past her 61st birthday ..with DW firmly in stage 6... I could no longer care for her at home.
Christmas 2020 ;...DW has been in stage 7 for 18 months now...Palliative care for the past 5 months. She breathes on her own, she struggles with eating, drinking swallowing .. Completely immobile Her weight is below 110 lbs ..DW sleeps 10 15 hours ..,On two occasions the family has been told we are down to days .
Providing I can provide a negative test, (within 7 days) and agree to wear full PPE..I am allowed to visit with an appointment.
On February 5th 2021 ..DW may see her 65th birthday ..??
On another note..I received a letter from her employer , earlier this week.
Dear .....C....
Our records show that your eligibility for Long Term Disability benefits will expire in February 2021. We will be sending you the retirement papers Please contact H.R. and we wish you a long and happy retirement .
Life goes on ..
Merry Christmas to all
Mike
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Joined: 2/2/2014
Posts: 6145
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Christmas 1972 I ask 20 year old DW to marry me . She says yes.
Christmas 1975 We've been married six months. I drive her to the hospital for her shift as a duty med student.
Christmas 1977 I celebrate with my very personal physician in the house we just bought from my parents
Christmas 1983 We have a brand new baby daughter for Christmas
Christmas 1985 Second daughter
Christmas 1991 Christmas in Kenya with kids and animals and a tiny tree.
Christmas 1997 Family scuba diving in Egypt
Christmas 2001 DD#1 comes home for University for Christmas
Christmas 2007 First SIL expands family
Christmas 2010 Second SIL DW diagnosed with MCI amnesiac type
Christmas 2012 EOAD Diagnosis
Christmas 2017 DW in Memory care
Christmas 2020 First Christmas away from DW since 1972
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Joined: 10/16/2020
Posts: 49
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Oh, Mike. I think I can hear you screaming at her employer's letter. I am so sorry for all the loss you have been experiencing for the last 10 years.
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Joined: 9/21/2017
Posts: 704
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Mike-
Very sad to hear this.
This is cold but there is that phrase "cold hard cash", if you don't think your wife will make it to her birthday and you would then lose your spousal option to her pension , see if she can opt for "early retirement" before then with you getting a spousal benefit off of it . Hate for you to lose it on top of everything.
Wish you peace.
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Joined: 4/2/2018
Posts: 3822
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Mike, I'm sorry it has to be so darn hard. Just remember that we're here for you whenever you need us.
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Joined: 6/12/2016
Posts: 1375
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Mike, I'm sad for you both. Please check into Victoria's suggestion. Like Ed said, we are here for you.
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