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I am the first to tell you this disease sucks.
Michael Ellenbogen
Posted: Saturday, December 26, 2020 8:37 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 3569


 But I was just wondering if you feel anything good came from having it? 


SSHarkey
Posted: Saturday, December 26, 2020 2:38 PM
Joined: 3/15/2018
Posts: 616


Hey, Michael! I can definitely say that it has caused us to appreciate life and family far more. Our hearts are more focused on gratitude and and what we value in life.
4Grams
Posted: Saturday, December 26, 2020 3:11 PM
Joined: 1/13/2017
Posts: 58


Michael, I hate this disease and it is hard to find good when your LO is trying to find his way. 

We have had funny moments and it has brought us closer. I want the man I married back but God has another plan. 


Crushed
Posted: Saturday, December 26, 2020 8:46 PM
Joined: 2/2/2014
Posts: 6162


There has been absolutely no upside whatever for us. DW worked very hard her entire brilliant career. We had carefully saved for retirement. 2012 was our planned retirement date for her That was the year she got the EOAD diagnosis. She was 60. She never got to enjoy her grandchildren. Am I bitter  YES even after all these years.
60 falcon
Posted: Saturday, December 26, 2020 10:58 PM
Joined: 11/16/2018
Posts: 135


Lol, did anything good come from Alzheimer's?  It has stolen my life, my DW's life, caused all but one friend to disappear, removed any semblance of a normal life, it destroyed any chance of a hard earned retirement, I don't do anything for myself anymore, and on and on.  It will kill my DW if something else doesn't.  Caring for her may kill me first.

Right now, I don't feel that anything good has come from this.  Maybe I'm "blind" to anything good that comes from this hell. I just don't see it.


Doityourselfer
Posted: Sunday, December 27, 2020 7:09 AM
Joined: 9/5/2017
Posts: 750


I haven't found anything good about this disease.  It's a nightmare of all nightmares.
Ed1937
Posted: Sunday, December 27, 2020 7:35 AM
Joined: 4/2/2018
Posts: 3849


Tomorrow we will be married 63 years. This disease has brought us closer than ever. I appreciate the small things more. I found out just how strong my love is for my wife. And I found out that our family is stronger than I ever imagined.

Yes, this disease is ripping our lives apart. But that wasn't the question.


Michael Ellenbogen
Posted: Sunday, December 27, 2020 7:59 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 3569


 This is some of the good that came from it for me.

 

  • I got the opportunity to travel so much sooner then I ever thought I would and made so many memorable memories for my wife and I that she talks about all the time. It real made her happy.
  • I have gotten to meet the best minds in the world related to dementia
  • I have been a pioneer and will leave a lasting impression for what I have done for this disease and others.
  • I was given the opportunity to come to the rescue of so many and help them just a little on how to deal with this disease
  • I created an army of dementia advocates all over the world including Africa where I have contributed to saving lives
  • I have broken so many records that I am even surprised that I was able to do all this.
  • If it was not for my dementia I would have never had that great boat and still cannot believe it was ever mine.
  • Now we are near to building our dream home and don’t think this would ever have happened and will leave my wife very happy if I should go. And of course she is retire early to be with me.
  • I am spending more money than I would have because I am no longer in control of it
  • I am more patient to others in need or who struggle with mental issues.
  • I was able to do a bucket list and still be around - Ran out of things to do
  • I accomplished the most exciting thing in my life by spending two day in Geneva with all of the ambassadors of the world at the first dementia conference at WHO. I had my own seat and mic and tread like royalty like the others - Does not get any better than that and not sure I can ever top that one
  • I have stared so many dementia programs all over the world that are now running on the own
  • I have gotten many world leaders to take action for the cause and to contribute millions and millions of dollars.
  • I fought against many organizations and governments to change laws
  • It made me appreciate life and what I have
  • Most thankful that I met George Vradenburg from USAgainstAlzheimer’s and so other great people who do so much for this cause with out any reason to get something in return

 

 

There are probably a lot more but I think you get the point. 


Beachfan
Posted: Sunday, December 27, 2020 1:08 PM
Joined: 2/1/2018
Posts: 613


Today is our youngest granddaughter's 6th birthday.  She has never known her "pop" without Alzheimers.  We live on our daughter's property and see "Allie" every day.  She is a rough and tumble, typical 6 year old, youngest of three.  But she has the most uncanny empathy and a loving, caring nature that astounds me.  She races down here every morning to "fix" pop's breakfast before school, she feeds him cookies and candy, ("don't bite my finger, pop"), she loves to "lax" on the sofa and read to pop, she brushes his hair and leads him from point A to point B with care.  She is discouraged that he is unable to understand what she tells him and was absolutely blown away the other day when she asked, "Do you love me, Pop"  Yes.  "Am I your best friend, Pop?"  Yes.  There are some hidden gems in this disease.  I told my daughter last evening that I was going to start paying Allie as a caregiver.  

Michael, you, too are a hidden gem!  Thank you for all you do.  


Lynne D
Posted: Sunday, December 27, 2020 1:41 PM
Joined: 7/21/2020
Posts: 30


Perspective, appreciation, a sense of purpose in caring for another.
Ed1937
Posted: Monday, December 28, 2020 7:01 AM
Joined: 4/2/2018
Posts: 3849


Lynn, that little 6 year old is a keeper. It wouldn't surprise me if she didn't have a career related to this disease. You are a lucky grandmother.
Michael Ellenbogen
Posted: Monday, December 28, 2020 7:14 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 3569


 For those of you who could not find some good in it I am really sorry. It may not always easy to see but I do hope this makes you think about it and just maybe some will come your way.  I have always learned in life that no matter how bad things are some good always come out of that bad. It may just be on how we think about it.