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Memory Care for Early Onset
Posted: Tuesday, August 3, 2021 9:41 PM
Joined: 8/3/2021
Posts: 1

My wife is a healthy 69 year old with early onset dementia. I am looking for some kind of supervised assisted living that is not just full of 80 yr old patients. I have nothing against 80 yr olds, my mother is 92, but I don't think it would be beneficial for my wife. 

Any ideas?   

Posted: Thursday, August 5, 2021 11:30 PM
Joined: 8/25/2018
Posts: 19


A lot depends on where you live and/or how far from your home are you willing to travel and how much you can afford. There are excellent MC facilities across the country and overseas. These facilities specialize in memory care only. Age not an issue. These are not nursing homes. My husband, age 62, was diagnosed 3 years ago. He’s now in a MC facility in Los Angeles. They take great of him, and all the residents. 

Michael Ellenbogen
Posted: Friday, August 6, 2021 7:11 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 4025

While I don’t like to step into this and I never want to end up in one of those places. If I did have to go age truly would matter to me as to whom the others are in the place as I also would not want many others way above my age. My other dementia friends seem to have the same concern.  


I have seen what happens to those that are older and al I can say is it is very sad that we all agree to pay those crazy fees when they are left ignored most of the time. 

Posted: Friday, August 6, 2021 9:59 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 20233

I would go so far as to say most facilities are not where we would want a loved one to be...where we would want to be.

The good news is there is a slowly growing number of professional facilities. I would rather be placed in one of them long distance than to be near a relative.

Posted: Friday, August 6, 2021 5:35 PM
Joined: 5/25/2020
Posts: 360

I would say it depends on the behaviors you're observing that have decided she should be placed. I placed my fit, young husband in MC at age 60 - so, not only at least 20 years younger than the others, but in the vastly minority gender!  When I'd been looking at potential facilities, I'd feel sick to my stomach that there was no-one there his age. 

I was really concerned. One of the reasons I had chosen to place him rather than have care at home is that he was extremely social and I thought he'd fare better with a lot of different people to talk to, versus a one-at-a-time caregiver. With DH, the age difference didn't seem to be any problem - he loved chatting to everyone. I had cringed a bit about the activities on offer, but he seemed to enjoy threading beads to make bracelets. As he'd been an attorney, the MC director had him "help" her in the office. (To be clear: she was only letting him think he was helping!) I moved him to a different MC, because the first one didn't seem able to handle his behavioral challenges. He became friends with a couple of men - not sure of their age as I wasn't ever able to go in, because of COVID - and always had women friends stopping by when I was at my daily window visits.

I agree with others that it's probably not what we would choose, in an ideal world. (That would be the world where dementia doesn't exist by the way.) Her fitting in, though, isn't necessarily the problem you think it might be.


Posted: Monday, August 9, 2021 1:29 PM
Joined: 3/23/2012
Posts: 41

I have lived at The Woods at Cedar Run for over 9 years. Not too pleased with the age disparity but it isn't a big issue.
Posted: Monday, August 9, 2021 1:32 PM
Joined: 3/23/2012
Posts: 41

I have lived at The Woods at Cedar Run for over 9 years. Not too pleased with the age disparity but it isn't a big issue.
Posted: Saturday, August 28, 2021 4:22 PM
Joined: 10/31/2019
Posts: 1

My brother is 62 with Alzheimer’s and currently a resident at Suite Living in Brooklyn Park. There are younger residents in this facility. I love the people and the facility.
Posted: Sunday, September 5, 2021 6:58 PM
Joined: 9/2/2017
Posts: 12

I joined a Lions Club and everyone was in their 90's and I am 62 and it was the greatest time of my life. My brother passed away from ALS 2 years ago and went into assisted living at age 56 and LOVED the laughter and wisdom of being with 90 year olds don't count it out, she will be the young darling daughter to them and it may actually help to be with people who are sometimes worse off than she is to appreciate her situation as well as making her feel needed. Many benefits so try a day visit or two to see what happens. I just go play bingo at the nursing home nearby and they love when I come to volunteer to call the numbers. They even tell me to hurry up because I'm calling the numbers too slowly.