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Are you married?
Posted: Wednesday, September 8, 2021 12:10 PM
Joined: 5/25/2020
Posts: 390

How do you answer that question? My DH died in April, and most people I know also knew him, so I hadn't often been asked. Now that people are coming back into the office, post-COVID, I'm meeting some new hires, and this morning I met a new neighbor; people ask "Are you married?"

I don't want to say I'm widowed, because, as far as I'm concerned, I'm still married. (Also I think it can make people feel awkward, especially as I'm on the younger side.) What do you say?

Posted: Wednesday, September 8, 2021 1:00 PM
Joined: 6/21/2019
Posts: 898

After Sandy died, I continued to wear my wedding ring on my left hand for about 16 months.


That answered the question for about 99% of acquaintances who were curious. Those who knew my wife died didn't need to ask why I continued to wear the ring.


When I was ready to try dating I shifted the ring over to my right hand to let any interested party know I was married but was now single.


Posted: Wednesday, September 8, 2021 10:55 PM
Joined: 7/30/2013
Posts: 6066

My hubby died in February of last year. I'm 62. He would be 67 if he were still alive. If anyone asks, I just shake my head and say I'm a widow. I don't get asked that question very often because I rarely meet new people. Honestly, I haven't felt married in a long time. His personality changed dramatically very early in the disease. I miss the man that I married, not that poor creature who died last year.
Posted: Tuesday, October 5, 2021 6:56 PM
Joined: 8/2/2018
Posts: 11

My wife of 41 years died July 2020.  I put both of our wedding rings on my key chain.  When someone asks if I am married I reply directly, "no, my wife recently died."  I have to admit I am handling the grief much better these days.  Today when I pass one of the pictures of her around the house I smile and recall a positive memory.  I miss her beyond belief but my being constantly sad is not something either of would want.  I feel grief is simply the flip side of love.  I know she would want me to be as happy as possible.
Mrs. O
Posted: Thursday, February 3, 2022 2:59 AM
Joined: 8/1/2017
Posts: 309

Yes Garybock,   Grief is just love with nowhere to go.