RSS Feed Print
I am scared to do the eulogy
true temper
Posted: Saturday, March 3, 2012 1:25 AM
Joined: 2/13/2012
Posts: 9


My mom pass away on the 19th of Feb. and the services is this coming

tuesday. I am scared that I might broke down and not finish her eulogy

should I let someone else do it ? Thanks for any advice.


Waiting for a cure
Posted: Saturday, March 3, 2012 3:52 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 295


true temper, I'm sorry for your loss.  I'm sure you're busy preparing for the service on Tuesday but I hope you're able to get some rest.

How much do you want to do the eulogy?  No one says you must.  If it's most important to you to communicate a message, it's perfectly acceptable to ask a family member, friend, or the person officiating to read your message.
If you'd like to try to get through it, but, as you said, are worried you'll not get through it, be sure it's in writing, probably in type in at least 14 pt font, so that someone (you can arrange in advance someone who can take over if needed) can be shown where you are when you stop, and read on from there.
Please don't feel it's wrong to cry during the eulogy.  Take your time.  Bring a cup of water up with you and take a slow sip if you need the time to compose yourself.  Bring tissue.  Get as much rest as you can the night before and try to eat something the morning of, even if you're not hungry.    If it helps, have someone stand with you for moral support.  
I'll be praying for you, that the service ministers to your heart, that you are able to receive the love and care offered by those who attend.  You've been a loving daughter.  I pray you feel God's presence and comfort.

true temper
Posted: Saturday, March 3, 2012 4:35 PM
Joined: 2/13/2012
Posts: 9


At this time I am going to do it. Last night I felt my mom aura

telling me to go for it and do not worry about failing.Its the not

trying that is a failure.Maybe my sister could help and save me

but like so many slibings she's on the side lines making me do

everything and giving a lot of advices. Thanks Waiting for a cure

I'll bring a lot of tissues.


GBee
Posted: Saturday, March 3, 2012 4:58 PM
Joined: 2/7/2012
Posts: 88


Hi True,

 

I have not been in your situation yet.  But I have though about it many times!  My dad is 90 and mom w/dementia is 84.  I am glad you are going to do it and I am sure you can. "waiting" made many great suggestions and I am going to use them myself when the time comes.

 

I pray a lot and I pray for God to give me strength when I have tough activities coming up, and God never fails!  Give it all to Him and you will be strong!

 

I also agree that it is okay to cry during the eulogy; take a drink of water and a deep breath and continue on. No apologies.

 

God will give you strength if you ask Him.

 

Blessings.

G.


OMNI461
Posted: Saturday, March 3, 2012 10:13 PM
Joined: 12/20/2011
Posts: 84


True--Waiting for a Cure gave you some great advice, and I too want to say that it is okay to cry if it happens...it is an honest emotion and you will probably have everyone there in tears too. Follow your heart and you will have no regrets. No matter what, it will not be a failure...you have done a great job for your mom and this is just one more step in that process.

 

Good luck on Tuesday and please come back and let us know how it went. I hope the service gives you peace and you get the support and love from the people surrounding you.


Rosemarie
Posted: Monday, March 5, 2012 7:27 AM
Joined: 12/16/2011
Posts: 74


True, you can do it. I did it on Saturday and it's been a month since mom passed and that's how I started my eulogy,

I said, " it been over a month now, and I didn't think I had any tears left, but I do so just bear with me." That helped, plus I didn't look at anyone, I looked over them and into my garden. It was held in my backyard.

Bless you and I will been thinking of you on Tuesday.


true temper
Posted: Monday, March 5, 2012 12:53 PM
Joined: 2/13/2012
Posts: 9


I need to let all of you know that my sister called last night and

found out that I planned to do the eulogy. To make a long story

short, she called a relative to do the eulogy and got people in

place to do the greeting. What a surprised, Thanks to all of

your prayers and blessings that made this possible.


OMNI461
Posted: Monday, March 5, 2012 7:50 PM
Joined: 12/20/2011
Posts: 84


True,

I'm glad things seem to have worked out. I hope tomorrow goes as well as it can. I will be thinking of you...


Waiting for a cure
Posted: Monday, March 5, 2012 11:01 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 295


True,

You sound so relieved....I'm glad.  I will also be praying for you.

 


pbp214
Posted: Monday, March 26, 2012 5:28 AM
Joined: 3/25/2012
Posts: 4


true temper wrote:

My mom pass away on the 19th of Feb. and the services is this coming

tuesday. I am scared that I might broke down and not finish her eulogy

should I let someone else do it ? Thanks for any advice.


True,

 

I lost my dad last Monday to AD and without my family knowing, decided to do a eulogy to him.  I had a very close bond to my dad as my sisters, for over 35 yrs, have lived far while dad and I had a day to day relationship. I had to muster up every iota of mental strength to do the eulogy last Friday at his service. I had my husband come up to the podium with me for the strength I may have needed.  Everyone since has told me that I did my dad proud.... but most of all, I believe dad would have been very proud of me, not only for finding the inner strength to do it, but also to have shared words that helped to express the type of legacy that he has left, which has been one heck of a legacy on a local level.

 

I kept telling myself... "I did this for dad, everyone needed to hear these words about dad.... and no matter what it takes, I had to do this for dad."

 

Be strong. I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

 

Phyl