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Mothers' Day
SadinHeart
Posted: Saturday, May 5, 2012 5:55 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 403


This will be the first Mothers' Day that I will not have my mom with me. My mom loved getting gifts, so I always made sure I bought her several different things and packaged them separately so she would enjoy unwrapping them.

 

This year, well I will be shopping today for gifts for my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law who just became a mom last year. But I will buy my mom some pretty flowers to put in her vase that they just installed last week.

 

I will miss spending this day with my mom. I know it will be an emotional day. Even now when I see the mothers' day cards in the stores I get a tear in my eyes.

 

Love you mom. I miss you!

 

 


dayn2nite
Posted: Saturday, May 5, 2012 7:59 AM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 3097


I hear you.  I know I'll have at least 1 good cry that day and before, not looking forward to it.  On holidays they always had a special dinner at the NH and I'd go spend mealtime with her.
Waiting for a cure
Posted: Saturday, May 5, 2012 8:40 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 295


I'm dreading next weekend.  I would plan to get away somehow, but my son's school performances are that weekend (why do they schedule them then?  how dumb)  I don't want to attend my husband's family's mothers day dinner, that's for certain.   I think I'll want to sit alone and scrapbook or journal about her.

 

Last year was the first mothers day my mom wouldn't leave the ALF to go out with us. Dual incontinence had recently developed and she felt out of control and worried she'd have an accident.  This year is our first mothers day without her here at all. 


SadinHeart
Posted: Saturday, May 5, 2012 8:46 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 403


Last year we took mom and my in-laws to Downtown Disney in Disney World in Orlando. it's a large place where you can walk around, eat and shop. She had so much fun. We ate at the Rainforest Cafe that has a lot of animation going on while you eat. She loved it. She loved watching children play. We took a lot of pictures so I will enjoy them this year.

 


dayn2nite
Posted: Monday, May 7, 2012 5:48 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 3097


Mom may be with me for Mother's Day after all, or shortly after.  In case anyone missed it we did a whole-body donation and my mother's body was sent to an anatomical pathology lab in Rhode Island.  I received an email this morning letting me know that her remains arrived at the crematory this past Friday.  I guess depending on how long it takes to ship, she will be on her way back to me.  Another hard day.
SadinHeart
Posted: Tuesday, May 8, 2012 10:20 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 403


dayn2nite... what do you plan to do with her ashes?

 

My in-laws want to be cremated. My husband is looking for a place where to put the ashes. He does not want to spread them somewhere.

 

 


dayn2nite
Posted: Tuesday, May 8, 2012 12:36 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 3097


I have a necklace I bought online from Perfect Memorials and I'll put a tiny bit of them in that (it comes with a funnel and sealant), and for the time being I'm just going to keep them with me.  They will be sent in a heart-shaped biodegradable urn that you can bury (and there are seeds in it that will grow flowers or something).  I know I'll move from here and not sure where I'm going to go, so I definitely wouldn't bury them right now.

 

They also had the option of having them scatter them at sea and you get a certificate back with the date, time and location but I'd rather have the ashes with me for the time being.  I may end up scattering them in Las Vegas because that was her favorite place.

 

Your husband can do a traditional "burial" in a cemetary, they have those niches where 1 or 2 urns can be placed, that way he can put them together eventually if he doesn't want to keep them in the house.


Waiting for a cure
Posted: Saturday, May 12, 2012 10:07 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 295


dayn2nite, those are great ideas....the necklace, scattering ashes in her favorite place....

 

What are you going to do on mother's day?  My husband and his family are planning mothers' day dinner as usual.  Before that, we have church for the entire morning.  I don't know whether I'll attend either.  Strangely, I'm not expecially teary today, though I went to bed in a wretched state last night because I'd atttended the church's mothers' ministry's annual mother's day event and someone who hadn't been to our church for a while but who used to be close to me asked how my mom was doing.  It got me thinking about whether I could go through mother's day at my in-laws and be politely conversational at all.  I left the church event as quickly as I was able to once the event was over and people were just socializing.  Sometimes it feels just like the days when my mom was still alive but I was in no condition to chat with anyone.

 

My husband says it's ok if I dont' attend the family dinner but what would I do instead?  I still think I want to scrapbook and journal but I'm not sure how much I want to be alone. 


Still Waters
Posted: Sunday, May 13, 2012 6:09 AM
Joined: 2/6/2012
Posts: 1092


Holidays are not the same anymore. No matter what. Ever since she left this house all of my holidays have sucked.

 

Spending time with her right now is more for me, than it is for her. She is just too confused to understand anything. I dont see the point in any of this sometimes.


SadinHeart
Posted: Sunday, May 13, 2012 6:22 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 403


Happy Mother's Day Mom!

 

These are the first words I want to say today and so I have said them with tears in my eyes and in my heart.

 

Today my husband and I are going to cook lunch for my MIL, FIL, SIL and little niece. I ask God to give me strength to get through this day.

 

Then before we leave to go back home (4 hrs away) I am going to see my one and only still living aunt in the U.S., mom's youngest sister ( 78 ), I still have another aunt, mom's oldest sister ( 88 ), but she is not int he US, so I can only send her an email. Then as we leave the city I will stop at the cemetery and put flowers in the vase that is outside of mom's mausoleum where her body is stored.

 

I know my mom is not there and I am debating if I will go or not, for I hate to think that I have to go to a cemetery to see my mom. She is not there and I refuse to associate my mom with a dead body, for her spirit is very much alive in my life. So I will do it as a "tradition", or I may not. We'll see.

 

I wish all of you comfort on this day. We may not have our mothers with us today, but we sure had a wonderful life with them. Let's rejoice on the memories our moms left behind in our hearts. Their physical presence is gone, but their spiritual presence will forever be with us.

 


SadinHeart
Posted: Sunday, May 13, 2012 6:45 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 403


Something else I did for this Mother's Day is that I sent flowers to the ALF where mom was on her last days. I sent them to the three ladies that took care of her. It is a private ALF with only 14 beds.

 

I thanked them for the care and love they gave mom.

 

 


SadinHeart
Posted: Sunday, May 13, 2012 7:11 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 403


Happy Mother's Day in Heaven Mom
If roses grow in Heaven, Lord, pick a bunch for me.
Place them in my mother's arms and tell her they're from me.
Tell her that I love and miss her and when she turns to smile, place a kiss upon her cheek and hold her for awhile.
Because remembering is easy, I do it everyday,but there is an ache within my heart that will never go away.
Still Waters
Posted: Sunday, May 13, 2012 7:25 AM
Joined: 2/6/2012
Posts: 1092


Sad your so strong ! That was beautiful.
sheldi
Posted: Sunday, May 13, 2012 7:37 AM
Joined: 1/5/2012
Posts: 1


SadinHeart wrote:
Happy Mother's Day in Heaven Mom
If roses grow in Heaven, Lord, pick a bunch for me.
Place them in my mother's arms and tell her they're from me.
Tell her that I love and miss her and when she turns to smile, place a kiss upon her cheek and hold her for awhile.
Because remembering is easy, I do it everyday,but there is an ache within my heart that will never go away.

Hello

Hello SadinHeart,

I used to visit the site all the time but not so much anymore.

Occasionally, I peek. My mom passed September 2010.

All the holidays have a different feeling now. This one in

particular. I was alright until today. I was busy living life

but this day is fresh with the feelings and memories.

I've learned not to fight the tears and the ache.Let them come.

I was blessed to have her as long as I did, thru everything

good and bad.

 

Your poem was just beautiful. Thank you!

 

Have a peaceful day,

Sheldi


OMNI461
Posted: Sunday, May 13, 2012 3:49 PM
Joined: 12/20/2011
Posts: 84


What a beautiful poem...it made me cry. I am doing pretty well today, but sort of ignoring it is Mother's Day (even though I am a mom too). I also avoided the card section at the store...I did not have anyone to buy a card for with Mom gone.

 

I plan to visit Dad at the ALF in case he is missing Mom today. If he realizes it is Mother's Day it might send him swirling a bit.

 

I hope everyone is having as good a day as they can.


Still Waters
Posted: Sunday, May 13, 2012 7:09 PM
Joined: 2/6/2012
Posts: 1092


About 25 years ago or so, I took my mother out to dinner for Mothers Day. I bought her a watch and she loved it. She was so happy about the watch that she showed it to the waitress. When the waitress walked away, my mother told me that she was sorry she showed it to the waitress, she said " What if her mother is not alive, it might have made her feel worse".

 

What would make my mother think of such a sad thing at such a happy moment? But that was my mothers personality. She was always thinking of the other persons feelings.

 

How ironic.


SadinHeart
Posted: Sunday, May 13, 2012 8:32 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 403


I hope everyone was able to get through this day the best way possible.

 

I woke up feeling sad and when my brother called that he was at the cemetery I couldnt even talk to him, I broke down in tears. But I made it through the day without crying again. I tried to block thoughts from my mind while we were spending the time with my in-laws.

 

I went to see my aunt, mom's sister. I bought her a real nice perfume that I think she will like. So we are sitting there talking and I am reminding myself to hold it together and all of the sudden I look down at the center table and there was a picture of my mom with one of her sisters that passed away, who was my favorite aunt. I got up help up the picture and tears just started flowing.

 

Ok. I made it through the rest of the visit. My husband and I then went to the cemetery. I stood for a while in front of mom and dad's mausoleum and cried. I put the flowers in the vase, touched both plaques and walked away.

 

As I walked away I saw a big lawn full of flowers in vases on top of plaques and many people standing around different plaques. There was one lady that was sitting on a folding chair. I just stood for a moment and looked at all these people and my heart broke for them. So much sadness, so many tears.

 

As we drove away from the cemetery I told myself once more that I will not make it a tradition to go to a cemetery. Honestly I didnt feel like my mom or dad were there. That is just the place we stored their body. 

 

I will rather keep them in my heart. I have access to them all the time.