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Picking Up The Death Certificates Today
Marjk
Posted: Wednesday, July 11, 2012 8:01 AM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 799


Even though they are at Pie's house.  Now I can finish letting organizations know about her death (the only two that have to be done ASAP are her pension and secondary insurance).  I guess this is really real.

 

My sleep is so off.  I am tired, yet wired at the same time.  I don't feel like doing anything.  If I didn't have the dog I probably wouldn't go outside for a couple of days, I just need to lie low.  I am still working as I am going in for two 3 hour shifts this week.  Yesterday that was actually very good for me.  Tomorrow I work again and then have a dog grooming appointment.  Friday the BF comes in.  Next week I have something to do everyday (3 days of work and an appointment with the accountant).  Once all the business stuff is taken care of, I will give myself a few days to grieve.

 

I know I probably should have taken some days off from work, but I only work part time and it's not enough to cover my bills as it is (and my bills don't stop because my mother died), although more work is definitely coming my way after the Summer.


Beth in Indiana
Posted: Wednesday, July 11, 2012 8:41 AM
Joined: 12/21/2011
Posts: 95


You know it's OK (and probably necessary) to just be still right?  I hope you don't over schedule yourself and add to your tiredness.  (we worry

 

When you're ready, Alan Wolfelt has some nice, easy pieces about the grieving process if you're interested.  He also has a website and is VERY down-to-earth and funny even. 

 

In the meantime, take care of yourself now

 

 


dayn2nite
Posted: Wednesday, July 11, 2012 1:28 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 3097


I had a hard time with the death certificate.  Funny how a piece of paper can be upsetting.  There was all mom's information on 1 sheet of paper.  I was also distressed that dementia wasn't one of the listed causes of death. 

 

I wanted the name of the "thing" that my mom (and I) wrestled with for years on that piece of paper.  Maybe I'll look into getting it corrected one day, but I probably won't get around to it.


pieberry
Posted: Wednesday, July 11, 2012 2:51 PM
Joined: 7/6/2012
Posts: 37


On my mom's death certificate it does say that her death was caused by complications due to dementia. Dayn2nite, what did it state as the cause of your mother's death?
cowboys
Posted: Wednesday, July 11, 2012 5:49 PM
Joined: 12/10/2011
Posts: 338


Dad's had 4 things listed and "End Stage Dementia" was 1 of those. I wonder why the doctor didn't put that on there.
dayn2nite
Posted: Wednesday, July 11, 2012 5:51 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 3097


The only cause listed was chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and in the part that says "other significant conditions contributing to death but not resulting in the underlying cause is listed as cerebrovascular accident.

 

After I received it I did check with hospice and the the entire reason she qualified was due to dementia, unspecified type.

 

Here's another funny-in the question "did tobacco use contribute to death?" NO is checked and she smoked for 50 years.  Sigh....


madamme
Posted: Wednesday, July 11, 2012 10:15 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 149


Before Mum passed, several people had posted on the boards that they were horrified when the rec'd the Death Certificate to see Malnutrition, and or dehydration listed, and nothing about Alzheimers.... 

At the last Appointment with Mums Dr I told him that I wanted Alz listed as her cause of death....He was a kind man, and he agreed to do so..and that is what was listed..When I read it.................even though I knew it was supposed to be there..I felt..surprise.....relief...znd so very sad....but I was glad that I stuck to my guns... 

 

that Thanksgiving I met a Dr at my Aunt's house,,as we were talking I mentioned Mum, and the fact that she had passed, and that she had Alzheimers, he asked what she passed from.....I took a deep breath and said "Alzheimers" he proceeded to try tell me that that wasn't really the case, it was likely dehydration...or....and I calmly, quietly said "NO...those were effects...BUT the Disease killed her" and then..walked away..quaking inside and silently thanking Mum for raising me to rise above people who make statements that are to my mind foolish....But..I swear...I wanted to ..well... never mind...I didn't... 

 

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} ---M


dayn2nite
Posted: Wednesday, July 11, 2012 10:49 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 3097


Madamme, I wish I had not assumed they'd get it right.  I feel the same way you do, the disease itself killed her and it is important to put that disease on the death certificate.

 

If I ever have the misfortune to run into this disease again, I will be sure to have that conversation with the attending physician.

 

Funny how we know more about what the disease does than many doctors. 

 

And I guess I should at least be glad they listed COPD and not malnutrition or dehydration--makes it sound like nobody took care of her.


madamme
Posted: Thursday, July 12, 2012 12:51 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 149


Dayn2nite-- 

It is "funny" that we  know more than a lot of those in the medical field..Mainly I think  its because we live it everyday...which is why we get so frustrated with the dolts who make blanket statements and assumptions...Had it not been for the boards I don't know that I would have addressed the issue..but since I was taking care of Mum 24/7 at home, I read, and read and read some more throughout the 3 1/3 years that the disease had Mum in its grasp... 

 

The Dr at Thanksgiving most like meant well..but I had, up to that point dealt with so many stupid remarks throughout our journey, that I had learned to step away from the idiocy...and Mum's gentle voice was in my ear saying  "OH Piffle you dont need to bother with him!"..so I didn't.... 

 

Even now there are people who have no experience with the disease who, on the few occasions I have had conversations with them about the subject, try my patience....I just hope that they never know what it is to deal with this nasty blankety blank illness... 

 

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}-M 

 

 

 


KML
Posted: Thursday, July 12, 2012 10:54 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 2105


My dad's death certificate did list Alzheimer's as the cause of death.  When I read that, I thought maybe now my sibling will believe it. 

 


lesa
Posted: Thursday, July 12, 2012 2:55 PM
Joined: 1/24/2012
Posts: 69


My husband's death certificate said end stage mixed dementia and that's all.  I agree that malnurition sounds like they were neglected.  Many people said to me that they didn't think people died from Alzheimer's so I preceded to set them straight.  My feeling is that if they don't list dementia how will they really know just how many people have this?  I believe this is much more prevelant than they say. Especially among the early on-setters due to the difficultly of diagnosis.
Waiting for a cure
Posted: Thursday, July 12, 2012 3:29 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 295


I agree....it's important to list the dementia as the cause of death.  My grandma's certificate lists alzheimers and that's all it includes.  I think that's because the nursing home helped my mom to  replace her primary care physician in her last days.  (grandma's long-time physician wouldn't agree to hospice because of "philosophical differences" with the practice, and also resisted a dementia dx as a matter of habit.

My mom's death certificate lists Alzheimers and for a contributing factor lists hypothyroidism.  I wonder if that's because it was a lifelong condition (and a risk factor for AD)  or whether the condition actually plays a part in the final decline.  My mom took thyroid replacement daily until all meds were stopped (except morphine) in her final days. 


Oceanbum
Posted: Thursday, July 26, 2012 2:33 PM
Joined: 3/11/2012
Posts: 433


My Mom's cause of death was listed as COPD, but no mention of Dementia. That did upset me. I thought it should have been listed as a secondary cause. She did struggle with the COPD much longer than she did the Dementia but I still believe it should have been listed as a contributing factor. I thought it was funny, like Day2Nite mentioned, that it said "Did tobacco use contribute to this death?" and it was marked NO. My Mom smoked for over 30 years!! I believe that's what led to her COPD and ultimately her death. So it almost angers me that box being marked NO.
farawaydaughter
Posted: Thursday, July 26, 2012 3:05 PM
Joined: 4/19/2012
Posts: 414


They listed 4 things for my Mom. #1 Inanition (lack of food and water) #2 Alzheimer Dementia #3 Congestive Heart Failure #4 Hypertension.