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Does anyone know what happened?
aspen47
Posted: Tuesday, April 9, 2013 4:51 PM
Joined: 10/9/2012
Posts: 2


It has been 3 years since I lost my mom to Alzheimer's....she was otherwise healthy.  I don't know why this question is suddenly so important to me...My mom was doing fine, she knew me, I mean she was ok, then the call came that morning saying she all of a sudden couldn't speak or sit still or sit up straight.  She passed away two days later after they started her on morphine that day.   They said once they started her on the morphine she probably wouldn't wake up again and she didn't.   Does it happen like that, just all of a sudden?  Could it have been from changing her anti-anxiety medications that she got that way and maybe I shouldn't have consented to the morphine?
VKB
Posted: Tuesday, April 9, 2013 5:05 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 3689


Aspen47,

 

Please don't second guess your decision.  At the time, in the light you were given, you made the best decision you could have made. I doubt it was appropriate for her to have a battery of tests at that time given her condition. 

 

Maybe someone here has had a similar thing happen to their loved one.  Maybe your own doctor may offer you some clues to what happened as well.

 

Whatever the case, you did not do anything wrong. 

 

 

Wishing you God's peace, Ronnie


VKB
Posted: Wednesday, April 10, 2013 8:10 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 3689


Aspen47,

 

You may get a better response to this question in the regular caregiver threads. More people go there.  Ronnie again.


dj okay
Posted: Wednesday, April 10, 2013 7:41 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 1840


Dear Aspen,

 

It has been a long time since your mother passed away for you to be bearing this kind of burden.  Have you talked with your mother's doctor about this?  If so, what did they say?  If not, why haven't you?  I think you probably need some closure.

 

My father was diagnosed with a brain tumor less than 5 days before he passed away.  He was doing well following surgery and we thought he had months of life left.  So I was blown away when he "took ill" suddenly and passed away.  After the funeral, I called and asked to speak with the doctor.  I also talked with the nurse that was on duty the morning my dad died.  It helped to talk with them and understand a little better since I wasn't there.

 

I don't think you should be blaming yourself for her passing.  As was said, you did what you felt at the time to be the best course of action.  Second-guessing our decisions that were made with the best of intentions at the time does not serve us well.


But if you need to understand what caused her death, you should speak with a medical professional, either her doctor, your own doctor, or another one that specializes in the field of geriatric medicine.

 

You've been a member here for a while without posting.  I assume that means you've been reading some on the message boards.  I'd like to say "Welcome!" to the online community, but you were already a part of us.

 

I do hope you'll find some peace in your decisions.  Let us know how you're doing.


Maral51
Posted: Wednesday, April 10, 2013 10:38 PM
Joined: 11/3/2012
Posts: 91


My mom had been fine she was stage 7 she still recognized me then she stopped eating like she used to then she was eating only a little she was mumbling for a few days hard to understand then she stopped talking was very agitated. They started her on morphine but she would have passed anyway. I doubt that the morphine is to blame for yours or my mother's passing. The disease progresses very quickly at the end of stage 7 that before you know it they are already ready to pass. We will always wonder if there was something that could have been done . My father passed away 6 yrs ago and if I start thinking about it I will find things that I think may have been done but Alzheimers is a disease where they eventually die. We will all have to go someday some sooner than later. I hope you find closure. My mothers passing is still fresh(one week) and I hope that I find closure too!
dayn2nite
Posted: Friday, April 12, 2013 7:39 AM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 3097


My mother was eating 100% of her meals and then overnight she had what was probably a mild heart attack, refused food from that day on and died 4 days later.  Sometimes they just go down like that.  I looked at the way she went as a blessing, she was a prisoner in her own body and I know she wouldn't have wanted to go on and on like that.



aspen47
Posted: Friday, April 12, 2013 11:41 PM
Joined: 10/9/2012
Posts: 2


Thank you for your responses....I am sure at the time, 3 years ago, I had the answers.  I pulled out the book "The 36 Hour Day" to give to a friend and thumbed through it... probably not a good thing to do.   So, this grief thing...it hits like a brick out of nowhere.  I wish I could find my posts in the archives here..the answers are there, I'm sure...
Angela65
Posted: Saturday, April 13, 2013 8:03 PM
Joined: 12/20/2011
Posts: 276


sending you HUGS
one daughter
Posted: Sunday, April 14, 2013 6:00 PM
Joined: 1/30/2013
Posts: 1980


II no exactly how u feel. I still don't no what happened w/my daddy. He passed away on 3/5. I thought  He was fine just a few days before that  he didn't complain of not feeling good.but on Thurs morning I called him @ 9:30 a.m. I thought he & mom may still b asleep. I called again @ 10:30 & stood no answer. I called my husband & he went over 2 check on them. Daddy was laying in the floor by the front door w/out his wheel chair. My husband picked him & put him on the couch. He asked him if he wanted 2 go 2 the hospital & daddy said no & that he was just cold. I came over after work 2 check on him. He had vomit coming down the side of his face (he was laying on the couch). I called 911. He was very combative & refused 2 eat or drink. He just wanted a beer & a cigarette. Then 3 days later they moved him 2 ICU. Dr's couldn't Jeep his oxygen stable. He kept dipping down in the mid 60's. I just don't no what happened.
one daughter
Posted: Sunday, April 14, 2013 6:03 PM
Joined: 1/30/2013
Posts: 1980


I signed the paper work 4 Hospice. I had no idea that when they took the Bi pap mask off that he would only last 10 minutes. What the hell happened?
Angela65
Posted: Saturday, April 20, 2013 3:16 PM
Joined: 12/20/2011
Posts: 276


I ask myself that all the time WHAT HAPPENED, Im so sorry that we all feel like this. I probably am never gonna understand WHAT HAPPENED, One daughter I lost my dad almost 15 yrs. ago it was on Xmas eve he had only the flu bug. or he thought, I wanted 2 take him 2 dr. but he was just like no its the flu. My mom was in another state my sister was with her because my grnma was dying, long story short I went check on dad he was 61 yrs. old he looked strange wasn't breathing normal get 2 hospital he goes straight 2 ICU. Next day I have 2 call my sis and tell her she gonna have 2 come bak they putting dad on ventilator, He never came off of it. He never came home. My mom" GOD GIVE HER BEAUTIFUL SOUL PEACE"..passed away from Alzheimers on March 5th. I will always ask myself what happened with mom also got her bak home wit hospice hoping 2 build her strength up and get her eating instead the next day Hospice is telling me they don't believe she will live the next 24 hrs. And she didn't they started morphine and she was gone that nite. WHAT HAPPENED?
SunnyCA
Posted: Saturday, April 20, 2013 3:53 PM
Joined: 2/14/2012
Posts: 1752


Hi, Aspen.

 

Cardiovascular disease typically goes hand-in-hand with Alzheimer's, whether the doctors can detect it or not.  From your description, it sounds like your mom had a major stroke.  Yes, it can happen like that, just all of a sudden -- and does, quite often.

 

 And whatever happened had already happened before they started the morphine.  The morphine kept her comfortable and calm during her final hours.  The very best, the kindest and most selfless, thing you could have done for her was to consent to the morphine.

 

My heartfelt sympathy for your loss.


one daughter
Posted: Sunday, April 21, 2013 9:23 AM
Joined: 1/30/2013
Posts: 1980


Angela, U lost ur mom on the same day I lost my daddy March 5, 2012. It's the hardest thing I've ever been thru. My poor mama still doesn't know. her ALZ prevents her from knowing. Thank u 4 sharing ur story w/me.
one daughter
Posted: Sunday, April 21, 2013 9:29 AM
Joined: 1/30/2013
Posts: 1980


SunnyCA - my daddy had his leg amputated back in 2005 due 2 cardio vascular disease. The morning I lost him, the nurse in ICU said that the rest of his body was acting like his leg, it was not getting enough oxygen. Still how could daddy not have given me some kind of sign that something was wrong? Maybe if we had acted sooner, he would still be here.