I am so sorry for the loss of your mom, and especially at such a young age.

You will feel lost .......that is just what happens. Take it slow and easy, don't be hard on yourself, be gentle, grieve, grieve, and grieve some more.

Time is the only thing that eases the pain. You will survive this, it is just part of a long road.

My condolences to you and your dad.

smoky,

I can't remember if you had hospice for mom? They have wonderful grief counseling and support groups.

Given her young age and what you and dad went through I hope there is 'extra' local support for you both.

You're right, this disease does a lot to the caregivers and causes indescribable pain during, and I'm sure after care has ended.

I don't think we graduate. I read so many wonderful posts by members whose LO's passed away long ago, and they continue to be part of and a great support to this community. 

I hope you and your father and family will find peace and healing very soon, and I hope you continue to find support and be part of this community.

Tom

Dear Smoky,

These first days are so difficult, do be gentle with yourself.  Don't expect too much of yourself and make sure you drink lots of water and get plenty of sleep.  Try to ensure your dad is doing the same.

My mother was also sick for about 7 years, that I had to provide care for her.  She had symptoms for a few years before that.  It is indeed a long time, especially as you were providing care in the home.  It tends to be all consuming and therefore the grief is quite profound.

Do seek out a support group or grief counselor if you feel like you aren't making progress.  They can help you through this transitional period.

In the meantime, here's a warm hug from another grieving caregiver(((((((((smoky))))))))))

Smoky,

It does take a lot out of us caregivers,and when our loved ones pass they leave a huge hole.  I know that sinking feeling of walking into an empty room where my mother or my stepfather once spent their time.  I had to immediately remind myself that they were now in heaven and back to normal, perhaps dancing.  If I didn't do this the pain was too great.

I also felt like I had Post Traumatic Stress after they both passed.  Taking care of a dementia/Alzheimer's patient is like fighting in a war with no hope of a happy ending.  

I tell you this because you and your father need to be real good to yourselves.  A trip that includes the beauty of nature can be very therapeutic.  If you can't, then I suggest walks in a park or an easy hiking trail.  God's creation has a soothing effect on the soul.

God bless you both for being so very good to your Mom. 

I prayed for you both.  Ronnie 

 PS  If you feel up to it, please come back and share what you have learned.

Smoky,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know losing your mother is so hard. I lost my Mom in June of last year. She had dementia about 8 years, so about the same as your mother. It's never easy losing a loved one, but take comfort in knowing that she is in a better place, free of her disease, happy and healthy again.

Grief is a long process and no two people greive in the same way. Take it slowly. Give yourself the time to grieve. Come here often. I find the people on this board to be very helpful and comforting. There are people here in the varying stages of the grief process. But they all understand. They have all been where you are right now.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs to you and your Dad.

67 is much too young.  I am so very sorry for your loss.  How wonderful that you could keep your mother home with you and take care of her there. 

Deb