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Auds Girl
Posted: Tuesday, October 29, 2013 3:14 AM
Joined: 1/8/2012
Posts: 74

My mom died a little over 2 years ago.  The last 6 months of her life were horrible with her care facility  telling my family horrible things about me and that i was lying to her doctors and making things up, which lead up to a protection order against me. ( There were family issues prior to her placement) Now my brother is trying to get information from me so that her insurance policy can be paid out.  I told him right after her death about it and he said they would not pay us because the one listed for apyment was my father who had been dead for over 20 years, now all of a sudden we can get the money, but he wants my SS number.  He was one that was charged with forgery against my mom.  I am not comfortable givng him the information so I am thinking to text him and have him send the form to my P.O. Box and then I would mail it to the insurance company.  I just do not  want to deal with anymore of his emtional or verbal abuse ever again.  Or am I to senstive.  Any thoughts......
Posted: Tuesday, October 29, 2013 5:11 AM
Joined: 8/28/2012
Posts: 318

I've learned that it's important to trust that little voice in your head.  If it's telling you not to give your brother that information, there's probably a good reason to listen to that voice.  There's no reason he can't send the form, to you and then you can send it on to the insurance company.  They'll also want a certified copy of the death certificate.


My mother had left an annuity with my 3 children as beneficiaries.  Because they're scattered all over the country, I made copies for each of them & mailed them, each with a certified copy of the death certificate, and they all filled them out and sent them in separately.  It cost more, in that I had to get 3 certified copies rather than one, but it was simpler in the long run because one of my children is a procrastinator and that didn't hold up the other 2 getting their share of the money.

Posted: Tuesday, October 29, 2013 10:36 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 2105

Do not give your social security to your brother or anyone for that matter, especially someone with a history of forgery.    Your idea of him sending you the form to your PO Box and you mailing the form directly to the insurance company is a very good and safe plan.  Don't let him bully you.  You are not being overly sensitive, you are using good judgment in absolutely not sharing this information with him.
dj okay
Posted: Tuesday, October 29, 2013 11:50 AM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 1840

I agree with the other replies, you need to trust your gut.


It sounds to me that perhaps your brother is in possession of the policy, but you are listed as secondary beneficiary or are executing the will.  Perhaps a little clarification would help.  But your suggestion was a good one either way.  Do not give him your SS#.


Who is going to receive the check from the insurance company?

Who is "we" that can now receive the money?


We took care of my mother's insurance policies following my dad's passing, in that we had the beneficiary changed to me, as I was named to execute the will.  But I think if you provide copies of your dad's death certificate, along with his will and your mom's, you can get the insurance payout.  This is probably what your brother figured out.

But I am confused about who is taking care of her final affairs and why it's taking so long.


This must be very hard on you.  I'm so sorry.

Auds Girl
Posted: Tuesday, October 29, 2013 6:51 PM
Joined: 1/8/2012
Posts: 74

Thank you all for your posts.  I was the POA and medical POA per my mother which did not set well with my 3 brothers and 1 sister i was the oldest.  Upon her death my brother the one who had the forgery charge against my mom became her excitor of her will.  As for why it is taking so long I have no idea my siblings choose not to listen to anything I ever said and have chosen not to speak to me if our paths have cross up to trying to get my social security number.  It is so wonderful to know that are such great people here THANK YOU!