Joined: 5/15/2014
Posts: 5
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The last week has been very hectic for me. Last Tuesday we had my fiancé's dad transferred to a facility that has a special unit that deals with dementia . With in twenty four hours he had no pulse; forty minutes without oxyigen. He was rushed to the nearest hospital and put on a ventilator. His was was out of town working and I go there and sign some papers so he could be treated. The doctor said that he was too malnourished to live a normal life. The nurseing home he was in a week ago, just left him to sleep 24/7 and did not try to give him any nourishment.This facility was not equipped to care for a person with dementia. We can not prove that without an autopsy. His did not want to have an autopsy done. It was painful to see him in that condition knowing he was in better health several months ago ,even with showing signs of demintia
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Joined: 11/5/2013
Posts: 138
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Billie - So sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers to you and your fiancé. Know that you did your best for your loved one.
And I know there is no delicate way to put this, so please forgive me. Might your fiancé reconsider and consent to an autopsy? At the very least, I would get the medical records from the nursing home. Not necessarily to sue for monetary gain...but to report the mistreatment at the nursing home and prevent this from happening to anyone else.
I am in the process of doing the same and feel that, although nothing can bring my husband back, perhaps something can be done to prevent the same types of errors/mistreatment.
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Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 799
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I am so sorry for your loss.
Was the facility that did not give your fiance's father nutrition the one that had the special dementia unit? Was he able to eat on his own or was he sleeping 24/7 and needed a feeding tube? Did he have a DNR and a living will specifying no feeding tube?
What the doctor said, that he was too malnourished to lead a normal life is a horrible thing to say and probably not accurate. If your fiance's father was sleeping 24/7, he wasn't living a "normal" life.
I am most certainly NOT defending the nursing home! This is definitely something that needs to be monitored. If the nursing home was neglectful, something needs to be done.
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Joined: 4/4/2014
Posts: 181
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My hubby was admitted to the hospital because he woke one morning and couldnt walk.....the day before we went out for soft serve ice cream...his idea...After calling his PCP I called the rescue and he was admitted....before admittance..(for about 2 weeks ) he began eating less and less....At this point in the disease..I was feeding him pudding ...magic cups....icys...and soft serve ...he had no desire for food....after a CT scan an MRI..and a barium swallowing test I was told he no longer had the ability to chew...swallow..or the desire for food.....everything soft that he did swallow he would aspirate into his lungs....which turned into aspirating pneumonia.....since hubby had a DNR....no feeding tube was used....my main concern was of him starving to death....the Dr. explained technically thats what would happens as his body would use up its own resources......I could use mouth swabs..and I did feed him chipped ice until he would start coughing....I took him home to live out his last days ...as thats what he wished for earlier in the disease...hospice came daily ...to wash and check his meds ...all his meds were in liquid form...he lived 35 days with no food and very little water.....he passed away from dehydration...and pneumonia...which was a terrible way to die....Hubby was 68 yrs old ..diagnosed 4 years ago...he had Dementia with Lewy Bodies....and went thru hell......I miss him terribly it has been 5 weeks now....I hope it gets a little easier.....PatD
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