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holidays without husband
Posted: Friday, December 12, 2014 2:43 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 70

Here it comes, my first Christmas without my husband. Actually my second, as he died just before the 25th last year.  I decided against trying to put up a Christmas tree alone, and didn't want anyone to help me, so I'm doing a lot of decorating around the house. Each time I open a ribbon or ornament box with his handwriting on it, there are tears, but I'm just going to keep on. Also having some waifs and strays in for dinners, tea, etc during the holiday weeks so i'm not just sitting here alone.  The party invitations dried up during his illness and I don't expect to get many if any.
  Holidays have always been to me a bittersweet time and my husband always made them special, lifting me up to meet his spirits which were always bright and happy, and he loved all the Christmas flurry, loved hiding presents from me that i would discover throughout Christmas day, hidden in a salad bowl he knew i'd be using for dinner, or tucking a small gift in my slipper.
Time to hang the  outside wreath with the wonderful hammered silver hanger he made several years ago.  Miss him.
 I know all of you caring for, or grieving for, your missing loved one are going through much the same.  no matter what  the season means to you - religious, family, or just traditional - do have a blessed and peaceful holiday time.  
And hold tight to those you love while you still have them.

one daughter
Posted: Sunday, December 14, 2014 11:44 AM
Joined: 1/30/2013
Posts: 1980

This will be my first Christmas without my mama. I lost her on Aug 1. My daddy left in March of 2013. I miss them both so much. I miss not taking my Elvis Christmas CD over to their house. I would play the CD while I put their tree up. I remember the last year I put it up for the both of them in 2012. My daddy said "Baby you don't have to do that, your mama don't know anymore" And I said "But I do".  

They say holidays are the worst. I think all days are hard. I hope you get many invites for party invitations. You deserve them. Good bless you. 

Posted: Sunday, December 14, 2014 4:24 PM
Joined: 3/14/2013
Posts: 348

My first Christmas without my mom as well - although last year was sad too, because her facility had a bout of gastroenteritis and no visitors were allowed from Dec 24th through the 30th. But still, in the weeks leading up to Christmas, I took her cookies and we wore silly Santa hats or reindeer antlers and sat by the fire. I'm grateful for so many wonderful holiday memories of both my parents, even though this year won't be so jolly -
Posted: Monday, December 15, 2014 8:28 AM
Joined: 8/30/2012
Posts: 264


Your husband sounds like the most wonderful guy.  I love the hidden Christmas presents idea, all day long.  I hope you find joy in realizing how lucky you were to have him in your life.  And I hope you get more party invites!  Everyone deserves them!

This is my first Xmas without my mom.  She LOVED Xmas!  I get tearful missing her and then thankful for all she was to me all at the same time.  So many emotions!

I'm having a little cocktail party for my neighbors this week.  Three are widows, one very recent.  We all need the support of our family and friends at this time of year.  God bless you and give you a beautiful Christmas.

Posted: Monday, December 15, 2014 6:20 PM
Joined: 2/12/2012
Posts: 553

Alice today is one year that Iost my 67 year old spouse.  last year I was numb this year I reality..... I felt the same way decorating. Your spouse reminds me of sard. I have been crying buckets every time I see his had been so long that he could not sign his I got a gift I was sorting out my 1 dollar bills today,I found one with the words I love you written in the corner of one of the bills.another sign from sard but I am so wishing I could dance and hug him one more time....... Wishing you the very bestest Christmas ..... Pauline
Posted: Tuesday, December 16, 2014 10:14 AM
Joined: 3/19/2013
Posts: 1118

   Aliceother, This is my first Christmas as an "orphan"! Dad died in 2011 & I lost my Mom on Labor Day. Only 1 brother, & we are, & will continue to be estranged. Feeling strangely "alone in the world" this year, as most of my circle of friends still have both parents, & the rest have at least one left. (I'm 45.) Guess this is just part of my "new normal", but will take some getting used to!


   As I go through the motions this season, I am recalling many fond memories of holidays past, & am thankful to at least have those memories because, as my Mom would say (& and I can hear her in my head as I type this!) "Some people don't even have that! There's always someone out there having a harder time than you, so be grateful for what you DO have, & nevermind what you don't!"


   I hope you have as wonderful a holiday season as possible! (I'm gonna try to do the same!) Big hugs, Twink