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Joining the Group on This Side
caroli
Posted: Sunday, June 12, 2016 8:40 AM
Joined: 4/20/2015
Posts: 55


My mothers battle ended June 3 on her 94th birthday.  What I thought was the longest, hardest days of my life during that last week now seem to have gone much too quickly when I realize that she has moved on.  I am very grateful to those of you who posted about savoring the moments even though our minds where wishing for better for our loved ones and ourselves.  When I realized we were nearing the end, I really tried to focus on that even though I wanted the battle with this disease to be over.
Lorita
Posted: Sunday, June 12, 2016 10:56 AM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 13302


 Hi Caroli,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother.  I lost mine to Alz 20 years ago and it still hurts.  I don't think you ever get over this loss. Your mother had a good, long life but it's never long enough for us.


jfkoc
Posted: Sunday, June 12, 2016 11:03 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 20034


we seem to be left with so many feeling...some seemingly contradictory....but as Lorita said there were not enough days...

Caroli...I hope you will find some comfort here


His Daughter
Posted: Sunday, June 12, 2016 8:39 PM
Joined: 6/25/2014
Posts: 2270


Caroli,

Please add me to your list of those who understand, and wish you well.  I know all too well about that last week.  I believe we are all grateful that it is now over for your mom.  Oddly, I took such comfort in that with my dad.  I wouldn't have wanted him to remain in that state.

I lost my mom some 24 years ago, and still can't go to her grave without tears.  

Come often, cry, laugh and vent.  All of us here truly understand.  

 


Veterans kid
Posted: Sunday, June 12, 2016 11:12 PM
Joined: 10/17/2014
Posts: 1239


Caroli,

I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost my mom almost 21 years ago, and my dad to all 15 weeks ago today. 

I remember clearly, my first post here.

I know it doesn't feel like it, but you are not alone. 

You  treasuring and focusing on those moments, I can tell you that they will help get you through this also. It wasn't very long ago, that I thought of something about dad and I smiled about it before my heart sank.  I was grateful that I was able to put the good memory first-I guess that means that The healing process is starting. But then in the store the other day, I saw a man who had on the same shirt I bought my dad at Christmas, and the tears welled up and I had to walk immediately away and down the different isle,  even though I needed something in that I'll I had to go back later for it. It's a very long process and friends, and I imagine part at least, if not most of your mind and body are still trying to get out of the shock. That very surreal feeling 

Yes, it is wonderful that your mom is free from Alzheimer's!!!! 

Now it is time to focus on you.  

 I am sending you an endless supply of hugs and pop tarts, and prayers,

Always VK 


Because she's my mom!
Posted: Sunday, June 12, 2016 11:50 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 737


Caroli-

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom a year ago in July from this evil disease, and that last week was, well, so emotional, as I cried for her and everything she, we, had gone through for twelve years. I'm sending you cyber hugs and good thoughts for healing, and that remembering all the good times will soon overshadow all the sad times.


Tink4495
Posted: Monday, June 13, 2016 9:42 PM
Joined: 5/2/2014
Posts: 761


Caroli,

I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. I lost my mom to this disease almost 8 months ago. It is such a cath 22, we want them here but we don't want them to continue suffering with this disease. Sending you hugs and prayers and I hope you can find some peace during this difficult time.


acb10
Posted: Thursday, June 16, 2016 7:38 AM
Joined: 5/31/2014
Posts: 124


Good Morning Caroli,

I'm very sorry that you lost your mother recently.  It will take time, because we, as caregivers, have so many layers that need to heal.

I lost my mother a little over 2 months ago, was with her at the very end.  The first 2 months I was numb, trying to capture that last night with her, how her hand felt, the sound of her breathing.  I was waking up every Sunday at 7:45 am which is the day and time she passed.  I'm not doing this as much now but I think my "guard" is down more and I am more emotional.  I have been attending bereavement meetings which may help - not sure yet - .

Take care of yourself.

april


KML
Posted: Friday, June 17, 2016 11:52 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 2105


My mother passed away from AD 16 years ago, my father passed away from AD 4 years ago.  With my father, everything happened so fast.  I thought I was prepared having experienced this with my mother, but I wasn't  In his final days, I was still trying to find a solution, a remedy for him, I could not believe this was happening.  I wish my energy was more focused on the good-byes those last days, they were not peaceful, they were painful.

Later, I knew he had to go, he could not stay in the condition he was in.  It was the best thing for him to pass.  The same with my mom, she could not go another day.  They both were released and for them, it was best.  For me, it was another journey, one of loneliness and feeling very lost.

I like to imagine them together now, dancing to Benny Goodman band, laughing, visiting with their parents, brothers and sisters and just happy, healthy, content, living the best time of their lives eternally.  I look forward to seeing them again, one day.  Until then, I wait for a visit in a dream.  I see my dad in pennies I may find in the street, I see my mom in the occasional butterfly or hummingbird, I think of them..


Lesley Jean
Posted: Sunday, June 19, 2016 10:51 PM
Joined: 2/13/2013
Posts: 2965


Caroli,

I lost my mom 14 months ago, then my husband 6 months later. Every day I think of them, wishing I could hear their voices. It is so difficult. Together, we will get through this. 

Hugs, 

LJ 


bela
Posted: Tuesday, June 21, 2016 2:04 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 4121


Not enough days....


rfrdaughter
Posted: Tuesday, June 21, 2016 9:52 AM
Joined: 4/1/2016
Posts: 66


Caroli,

So sorry for the loss of your mother.  My father passed 6 weeks ago.  It's never easy to lose a parent.  It will be a roller coaster of emotion for......well, I don't know, I'm still on it.  My only advice is to be gentle with yourself.  It's too easy to go to the "bad" place in your mind where you start questioning.  Remember what a great daughter you were.  Your mom has all her memories back and remembers you and all you did for her.

Peace,

Meg