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After 12 years, my dad just passed away
MERPL
Posted: Monday, July 25, 2016 7:11 PM
Joined: 7/25/2016
Posts: 4


After a 12 year courageous battle with Alzheimer's my Papa and hero has passed away.  We were able to keep him home with my mom as his full time caregiver until the end.  We knew this day would come and thought we would be ready for it but we are still heartbroken and hurting beyond words can express.

I was there as much as I could be and made sure his 12 years were happy.  I was there his last week in the hospital and as we brought him home before he passed.  The one night I finally went home to sleep, he passed and I'm struggling with not being there at that moment. 


Suefaith
Posted: Monday, July 25, 2016 9:10 PM
Joined: 11/17/2014
Posts: 1


So sorry for your loss. It sounds like your Dad was well loved and cared for thanks to you and your family.

I'm trying to find comforting words, but I keep erasing them because they don't seem to really get to the heart. The best thing I can think to do is to pray for you and your family. Hug each other lots and know that this community grieves with you.


Tink4495
Posted: Monday, July 25, 2016 11:50 PM
Joined: 5/2/2014
Posts: 761


Hi MERPL,

I am so sorry for your loss. No matter how much we think we are prepared, when the time comes it is just heart wrenching. I am sending prayers to you and your family and may you find some peace during this difficult time. Please don't beat yourself up for not being there when he passed. We have no control over when they decide to go. Many here have posted that this is very common for a loved one to wait until others are not around. Know in your heart that your dad loved you and he knew you loved him and you were there for him during this difficult journey. Cherish the memories and know he is looking down on you all and will be forever watching over you. Sending gentle hugs.


acb10
Posted: Tuesday, July 26, 2016 6:49 AM
Joined: 5/31/2014
Posts: 124


I am very sorry.  Don't be upset at not being there at the final moment.  I have heard many similar stories.  Just know that your Dad knew you were there all those months and years before.  Just take care of yourself and your Mom and remember all the happier times.
MERPL
Posted: Thursday, July 28, 2016 12:31 PM
Joined: 7/25/2016
Posts: 4


Thank you all for your kind words.  This is so much harder than I thought it would be.

 


Jen80
Posted: Sunday, September 29, 2019 12:35 AM
Joined: 7/13/2017
Posts: 12


I recently lost my father in-law who I cared  for about  3years after a stroke which imobilized him. We had him home caring for him 24/7. The one night my husband and I go out to celebrate our anniversary he passes. I felt so guilty and wished I had never left.  So I’m finding encouragement in the fact that it seems common for loved ones to wait until they are alone to pass almost on purpose. Possibly protecting us from distress.
TinaFinn7
Posted: Monday, September 30, 2019 9:32 AM
Joined: 8/9/2017
Posts: 8


I’m sending hugs to you. Your Dad knew everything you did for him and for your Mom. Your love and caring filled his heart. I hope you’ll take things one day at a time. Be kind to yourself. Take it slow. I am praying for you and your family.