RSS Feed Print
Can't get out of the house
BeDo
Posted: Monday, August 15, 2016 8:28 AM
Joined: 1/9/2015
Posts: 22


IT's been 5 months since my husband died and each time I go out the house is so empty it makes me so sad and reminds me I'm alone. I get so miserable and it gets harder every time I feel it's not worth it. So I just go where I need to, store or pharmacy. If I go with family or friends it seems more empty so I've been saying no not today. Hopefully this will pass soon as I've always been a very social person. But when my husband got bad we stayed home most days as I was sole caregiver. We couldn't afford help & our town is small so little was available. I guess I'll have to learn how to be with people who mean well but don't want the question "how are you doing?"
Lorita
Posted: Monday, August 15, 2016 1:38 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 12792


 Hi BeDo,

It's only been five months for you so you're still in the deep grief stage.  It's been 19 months today since I lost Charles and it's still very hard.  I was his sole caregiver and we were by ourselves all the time except when we went into town which he enjoyed until three weeks before I lost him.  We live in the country so being alone is mostly the norm.

I only go into town when necessary and usually stock up so I don't have to go again soon.  The worst part of the day for me is when I first awake and realize he isn't asleep next to me.  After I get up and get busy it's some better but the absence of him is always there.

I see no reason to go somewhere just for the sake of going.  I have lots of animals and they're my company along with this forum and visiting with my nieces and friends on the phone and internet.

The way we handle grief and loneliness is different with everyone.  I don't think there's a right or wrong way- it's individual and probably depends on the way we lived before our loss.  Being here alone is more comfortable for me.  There are still places where Charles and I went that I can't go anymore- maybe some day I can.  Take your time- there's no schedule.


Mrs. Braxton
Posted: Friday, August 19, 2016 3:10 AM
Joined: 9/12/2012
Posts: 929


BeDo

Hi I have not met you as of yet.   I was on this site for a couple of years.   My husband passed about 14 months ago.

  I didn't leave the house much,  I told my friends I can not commit to anything,because I did not want to say no and cancel.  

It has been the most difficult experience for me.  Grief and loneliness .   I am going out a bit more in the past month.  some friends say I seem like my old self again.  Then I cry bc I dont want to be.

I feel it means I am accepting of his death.  and yet to stay in a frozen state is not healthy.

We all somehow get through each day, and I hate that a year has passed,  its been 14 months without a kiss, a touch, a smile.   

I am probably bringing you down.  I dont see an upside to this, other than he is now whole.

I do my best each day and I am not hard on myself at all.

   May you be blessed