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49th wedding anniversary
Posted: Friday, September 22, 2017 9:21 AM
Joined: 8/14/2014
Posts: 483

Today is our 49th wedding anniversary and we have been together for over 50plus years. My husband is in an Alzheimer's home since the end of this past April. I do not know how to come to terms with this, I am feeling very sad and depressed. We saw my husband yesterday, he doesn't know anymore about our anniversary, but he didn't know last year that didn't surprise me, it is just so sad to be with someone this long, and I cannot reach him. 

I just needed to come on her for support, feeling very down.


weston gal
Posted: Friday, September 22, 2017 10:26 AM
Joined: 10/21/2013
Posts: 185

Jillbean: I completely understand your feelings.  Last week was our 55th anniversary.  I have a dry erase board that I write the day, date and other important facts for the day, and asked DH after he read it, if he knew what September 15th was, and he said no.  It didn’t hurt as much as in the past few years.  Now it is just another day.  Even 2 of my 3 children don’t mention it anymore.  I guess they don’t know how to handle it.  I am more emotionally upset that he has declined both physically and mentally at an excellerated pace the last 6 months.  

I am now facing the idea of Placement  or much more help quicker that I thought I would.

My heart breaks every day, and I have cried buckets.

I can only say that remembering the good times and the love we shared, helps me keep loving him and caring for him.  Just keep loving him.  

My kids keep reminding me to look at the glass as half full rather than half empty.  He is still with us.  One day at a time.




Posted: Friday, September 22, 2017 7:05 PM
Joined: 7/13/2015
Posts: 142

Happy Anniversary, Jillbeane!  Celebrate it for you.  You're entitled.  Send flowers to yourself, remember special moments, give him a sweeet hug.  Whatever brings you joy.  Our anniversary and my birthday as well go unnoticed too but I use those days to thank God for giving me a good man with whom to share life and love, for giving me a loving family who supported me and gave me birth, and for a providing many fun encounters along life's journey.  Occasionally (even before the Alz), I've been known to purchase some little blingy thing that caught my eye and then come home and thank my husband for being so generous.  I figured he'd have done it if he'd thought about it.  I suppose having a unthoughtful man helped prepare me for these days.  This will always be your anniversary.  Choose to find joy in it!




Posted: Friday, September 22, 2017 7:26 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 19546

I like Nancy's point, this will always be your anniversary. This day will always be special but understood that it would be happier to have two people celebrating.

"Happy" Anniversary from me too.

Posted: Friday, September 22, 2017 8:17 PM
Joined: 11/19/2015
Posts: 1004

Jill, Sending hugs and blessings for your anniversary.We are not quite at that stage but it sure does hurt when he can't remember how we met etc.


Posted: Friday, September 22, 2017 8:21 PM
Joined: 8/14/2014
Posts: 483

Thanks everyone!


Posted: Friday, September 22, 2017 8:55 PM
Joined: 5/4/2013
Posts: 1306


We too had our 49th wedding anniversary this month, and like you DH had no idea of the date. I didn't raise it with him, or either of our children. It is just one more day, just like all the others, now. Sad yes, but just the way it is. I focus instead on what he can still do, and the fact that when I see him in the NH, he remembers me, and says many times that he loves me.


Posted: Saturday, September 23, 2017 3:42 PM
Joined: 8/2/2015
Posts: 121

My DH and I celebrated our 50th in June. Or I should say I celebrated. He was not aware of it, and since I can no longer take him to restaurants, our three adult children took me out. It was bittersweet, but I'm so thankful for them. As self centered as this sounds, it was also a bittersweet time of watching longtime friends celebrate their 50th with elaborate trips that would be out of the question for us. Life is so uncertain. I glad that he is still with us but life holds very little enjoyment for him and it makes me sad to watch this man who was always active, sitting the days away without understanding what is happening to him. Milestones are a bit fraught with emotion, and it's a relief when they're over.