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Posted: Thursday, April 5, 2018 9:43 PM
Joined: 7/6/2014
Posts: 93

My Dear Husband died the week before Xmas. It feels like he just disappeared into thin air. I cared for him at home for several years and then had to place him in a MC facility.

I visited him every day for two years and put my heart and soul into making his Quality of life the very best that I could. As long as he could still walk I took him out to duck ponds and parks or whatever he could cope with. even as he declined to where he couldn't walk anymore he was still HIM. Always maintained that special personality. The house seems so empty even though he hasn't lived here for two years. It is just that he is nowhere, and that is so hard to wrap my mind around. I try to keep busy but still have too much free time almost like i'm out of a job.

The thought of being alone the rest of my life makes me feel sad too, My family were very good I have no complaints but I seldom here from them they have moved on with their busy lives but I am still here lost in this empty spaceand the person who would have comforted me is gone.


Posted: Friday, April 6, 2018 9:09 PM
Joined: 2/16/2017
Posts: 1709

Dear April,

I am so sorry you feel this way. My DH is in MC has been for little over a year. I visit him every other day he seems to be declining very slow. I think when the time comes he is no longer around I will probably feel lost.

You were a good caregiver by making sure he was as happy as he could be for as long as he was alive. I am sure you know you need to live your life now and take care of yourself, I am sure that is what your DH would want you to do. Be happy get involved be a volunteer. I volunteer for Red Cross and it really helps me to know I can be of help to others.

Now is the time for you to take care of yourself. Hugs Zetta 


Posted: Friday, April 6, 2018 11:10 PM
Joined: 7/6/2014
Posts: 93

Dear Zetta
Thank you for your kind thoughts.
I do try to keep busy and volunteer two days a week. However even my best efforts don't keep my loss at a distance all the time .
Thursday I was just having a bad day. Even when they are in a care facility they are still a big part of your life and when they are gone it creates a big void. 

Rocky Mountain Kid
Posted: Saturday, April 14, 2018 11:58 AM
Joined: 6/22/2015
Posts: 84

Hi April,     My Hubby passed away Dec 10, 2017.   I was caring for him until he went into the hospital Nov 26th with a bowel obstruction.  He seemed to be improving then after a week in the hospital he stopped drinking and eating, then gradually stopped talking and responding.  Then he died on his 15th day in the hospital.  I wasn't going to be able to bring him home as I wasn't physically able to care for him anymore so we were looking for as MC facility for him.  I don't have any complaints about his care......he was on Hospice 4 days and they kept him very comfortable.  I feel relieved that he didn't have to go to MC care and I feel he is in a wonderful place now so I am happy for him.......he loved God and had been serving Him for many years.  But I miss him.  My family has been wonderful and they still check on me often and I see some of them often.  I'm  doing more and going more places......but I would just like to be able to talk to be able to hug him and hold his hand.  He was a wonderful person so I guess I need to spend more time being thankful that he was in my life for 25 years and I do have lots of special memories.   Someone said, "Don't be sad its over, just be thankful it happened!"  My prayers and thoughts are with you.    Elaine S.
Posted: Monday, April 23, 2018 2:01 AM
Joined: 8/15/2017
Posts: 215

Hello April. I am so sorry for the loss of your dear husband. I lost mine December 30th. It's still so hard for me to say it. I feel your pain, your grief, your lonliness, and your yearning to be with him once again. At times it doesn't even seem real to me, but sadly it is. I hope you will find peace and healing with each passing day, that is what I pray for every day for myself. Take care,


Posted: Wednesday, May 16, 2018 9:33 PM
Joined: 7/6/2014
Posts: 93

Hi Elaine

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts. I'm sorry not to have responded sooner but every time I come on these boards I start crying again, it's as if it forces me to relive the loss and I feel so sad . It sounds as if you have made peace with your husbands passing . I am wishing more peaceful days for you.


Posted: Wednesday, May 16, 2018 9:50 PM
Joined: 7/6/2014
Posts: 93

Oh Vivi You expressed exactly how I feel I so yearn to have him back.

Sometimes it seems as if he is still here making funny comments in my mind.

I was working out in the back garden and was mentally lamenting to myself that the blue spruce we received as a wedding present looked ratty with lots of dead branches and I could hear him in my mind, chuckling and he said " don't worry about it I never liked it anyway." and I started to laugh because he had wanted to trim off the bottom branches and I was horrified and wouldn't let him. Some days he still feels close but much of the time like he is getting farther and farther away. Try to keep busy I find it helps. find somewhere to volunteer on a regular basis. I you have places you have to go it gets you moving in the morning and breaks up the day.

Hang in there I am sending caring thoughts your way.


Posted: Sunday, November 25, 2018 9:00 PM
Joined: 2/28/2017
Posts: 157

It will be 8 months since my Joe died.  I had no idea how devastating losing him would be.  I cared for him 24/7 until a few days before he died in the hospital.  I was happy for him that his nightmare was over but have had a difficult time adjusting.  He was the love of my life.  My faith in God is my base and reading books written by widows have helped me more than I dreamed possible. There were times when I felt like I was crazy and I find that this is normal. There are many things I have no memory of.  So many fears!  My advice is go to Amazon and look up books for widows written by widows. Read many.  It will help you find that you are not alone in what is happening to you...To US.
Posted: Monday, November 26, 2018 7:35 AM
Joined: 5/14/2018
Posts: 256

April I'm so sorry.  I can't imagine the pain you're dealing with.  All I can do is pray that every day it will get just a little easier for you.  (and the rest of you who lost your spouses).  I hope you find peace. 

xoxoxoxo -Kat

Posted: Tuesday, November 27, 2018 10:32 PM
Joined: 4/1/2014
Posts: 5213

So sad but touching to read these posts about the dear husbands you all have lost. I feel the love and it reminds me to not take advantage of my own husband-he's been so good to me and  my mother in all these years she has been living with us.  I wish you all healing and happiness.
Posted: Thursday, January 3, 2019 10:07 PM
Joined: 8/15/2017
Posts: 215

Hello April. It has been awhile since I visited this site, mainly because it takes me back to the very sad days when I was caring for my Robert.  I was wondering how you spent the one year anniversary of your DH death and how you are doing now.  I cried all day on Robert's because it made me realize once and for all that no, he is never coming back to me. I still am not in a place where I want or feel like beginning a life without my Robert. Frankly, I don't believe I will ever be ready to do that. I hope you have found some peace somehow. Take care, blessings to you,