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Such lonliness....
Vivilynn
Posted: Sunday, October 14, 2018 10:34 PM
Joined: 8/15/2017
Posts: 215


My DH will soon be gone 10 months. I am trying so hard to handle his death each day, but it is so very difficult to go on when you've had someone in your life for 40 years.  Well, now my grief is compounded. I lost the best friend I had in this world last Monday, my 6 yr old orange tabby kitty, Little Man.  He suddenly became ill and died at the ER vet in the middle of the night. I cannot make sense of this. Why was he taken from me too?  My life has no purpose any longer and I am so empty and sad,  I've lost the two living things I loved most in my life, my huband and my Little Man. You can just come and get me now Lord, I am so ready.
Skittles412
Posted: Monday, October 15, 2018 8:43 AM
Joined: 5/14/2018
Posts: 259


Vivi, I'm so very sorry you are hurting so badly.  I'm sure it all seems so unfair and overwhelming right now but things WILL get better, Please don't despair. In the meantime I'm praying that you will find something that brings you joy once again. It may not be tomorrow or next month but you will find joy again. For now, come here often and vent, cry, yell.....do what you need to do to get through the tough times.  You will never stop missing your DH or your little man but it will hurt less eventually. I wish you peace.

-Kat xoxoxoxoxo


Carolyn613
Posted: Tuesday, October 16, 2018 11:47 AM
Joined: 7/15/2016
Posts: 1060


I am so sorry for what you're going through. I had to euthanize my beloved cat 1-1/2 months ago. She'd had melanoma in one eye, which was removed. I'd been afraid the cancer might spread to her abdomen. We had 5 more years together, and then I saw the signs of irritable bowel, which another beloved cat had had. I am certain it turned into lymphoma. In the end I called a company whose vets come to the house. About two weeks later we had to euthanize a sweet dog. (We took him to our own vet for that.)

 

I know the feeling of sometimes wondering what there is left here, but then I remember all the good things I have enjoyed in life. In time I will enjoy them again. I'll take my husband with me, in spirit. Just not ready yet. But I'll get there. And I hope you will too.


jfkoc
Posted: Wednesday, October 17, 2018 9:17 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 20105


My heart is with you. I wish there were something I could say to make things better but what could it possibly be. Nothing helps the pain except time which will soften it and make the emptiness less but.....

 


Vivilynn
Posted: Wednesday, October 17, 2018 4:21 PM
Joined: 8/15/2017
Posts: 215


Thank you dolor for your caring message. He suddenly out of nowhere developed pancreatitis, along with high blood sugar, both affecting his liver.  He was on IV fluids, insulin, pain med, and an antibiotic. Got an update on him at 8pm from the vet, he was resting comfortably and being a sweet boy, doing all they ask of him with no fuss. Then 2am the vet called saying he had gotten up in the litter box collasped and died instantly. My vet told he's pretty sure he developed DIC or blood clotting due to the severity of the pancreatitis, through a clot that went to his heart, brain or another main organ and it killed him instantly. So hard to process, he had never been sick. But that's the way it can happen in cats, and they cannot tell you why. I just don't understand why it had to be now. I feel like I am back at square one with my grief. I have no choice but to get through it.  I do have other kitties but they are all outside kitties. Little Man was my special boy, the only one who lived inside with me. I hope to attach a picture of him here so you can see just how beautiful he was. I will love him forever.
Vivilynn
Posted: Wednesday, October 17, 2018 4:33 PM
Joined: 8/15/2017
Posts: 215


I thank you all for your kind, caring messages. Losing a special pet is hard enough in life, but when you are still grieving over the loss of the love of your life it is traumatic.  Little Man was my best friend. He helped me through some very dark days. I will never love another kitty the way I loved him. He owns my heart forever. Rest assured my sweet boy, I will see you at Rainbow Bridge.
Carolyn613
Posted: Wednesday, October 17, 2018 5:21 PM
Joined: 7/15/2016
Posts: 1060


I believe the Rainbow Bridge is real.
Vivilynn
Posted: Wednesday, October 17, 2018 11:31 PM
Joined: 8/15/2017
Posts: 215


So do I Carolyn. I am trying to find peace with this loss of my sweet kitty. I hope my husband and Little Man are together now waiting on me to join them. I am so sorry about your beloved kitty and dog. I love animals so much and we all know when we get one they are not going to outlive us. But I've never lost one this young from being sick, it's devastating.  I wish you much joy with future furbabies once you decide to open your heart to them again.

Blessings, 

Vivi


Vivilynn
Posted: Wednesday, October 17, 2018 11:58 PM
Joined: 8/15/2017
Posts: 215


dolor, I don't know where my manners are, I wanted to tell you how sorry I am that your beloved kitty is ill. Animals are such comfort and joy to us. I only wish they could speak to us to tell us where it hurts when they become ill. I will keep you and your precious furbaby in my prayers.   Kindly,

Vivi

P.S.  this program would not let me post a picture☹


Veterans kid
Posted: Thursday, October 18, 2018 9:05 PM
Joined: 10/17/2014
Posts: 1239


Vivilynn,

I am so sorry about Little Man

I don’t have any answers as to why, I just wish I could help to stop the pain.  Our 4 legged family memebers are just that.  Part of our family.  I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through the last few years without my cat, Blaze.

6 is young.  I am just so sorry.

What a great name, BTW <3

I’m sending you a virtual box of endless hugs   Take one or 100 as needed. 

{{{HUGSS}}}

Julie

Always be VK 

 

 


Vivilynn
Posted: Thursday, October 18, 2018 11:28 PM
Joined: 8/15/2017
Posts: 215


Thank you Julie for your kind, caring message.  I know all animal people understand the pain of losing a beloved pet. Little Man was so special, very social, he loved everyone and everyone loved him. He didn't know a stranger, which is very unusual for a cat. You may have noticed that's him in my profile picture now, so much personality! He had gotten me through those very dark days right after my husband passed and was my very best friend. You being a cat lover can understand how they can own your heart so completely.  The shock and numbness of Little Man's death is starting to wear off but at the same time the reality of it is setting in. I have cried a river already and I suppose that will continue for awhile. Thank you for the hugs, I can surely use them now! This is why I love this site, such kind, caring, compassionate souls here, such as yourself Julie. You and Blaze take good care of one another. Blessings to you both,

Vivi        


KML
Posted: Tuesday, October 23, 2018 1:12 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 2105


Vivilyn:

I am so sorry for the loss of your husband.  I am sorry for the loss of Little Man.  Our four-legged family members bring us such comfort, they love us and they sense when we are sad.  My Kibby was a great comfort to me, she would touch my face with her paw.  She would sit on my lap and just stare into my face.  She would curl up behind my knees and keep me warm.  I still have Misty with me, she's going on 15 years now and I sometimes will think about her not being with me anymore and it's pretty painful to think about.  We are close, if I sit, she sits on my lap, she follows me around and she's pretty good at talking, I say something, she does, too.  She sleeps on my pillow. 

I had two cats previous to Kibby and Misty, and those two passed away within two weeks of each other.  I was devastated and I thought I won't get past this grief.  I did eventually, because shortly after my daughter said a cat name Kibby had to be rescued or she would be put down.  So I went to take a look at her not intending to bring her home.  She was standing on a kitchen table and I swear she had a smile on her face.  She came home with me and I felt the connection and love from her.  About a year later, my daughter began feeding a feral who came to the back door.  I trapped that feral the day after one Christmas to take her to be spayed.  Plan was to release her outside once she healed.  14 years later, Misty is inside and with me, a part of my family.

So, my hope for you is when you're ready, there's another little heart and soul waiting for your love and care who needs you as much as maybe you need them in your life. Love always comes with a price, but it's a wonderful thing to share.

Take care of yourself.


Vivilynn
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2018 12:10 AM
Joined: 8/15/2017
Posts: 215


Thank you KLM for your very kind, caring words. I am trying very hard to accept the passing of my Little Man, but I believe I'm having so much trouble doing so because he was so young.  All my dear animals I've had were elders when they left me. I knew Little Man was special the day I found him running behind my bicycle on a barely traveled road, screaming at the top of his lungs to get my attention, so much personality for a kitten weighing only 1.2 lbs. Someone had tossed him out from a vehicle I believe because he was running on three legs, holding the fourth one up because it was injured. I'll never forget that, ever! From that moment he owned my heart completely and always will. He helped me through the darkest days of my life after my husband died, and he was the brightest spot in my life. I think I hear him, I think I see him at times, and I cannot bring myself to remove any of his stuff. I still cannot believe he is gone.  I am so sorry about your Kibby and your previous kitties before her and Misty. I do hope you have many more years with Misty, she sounds like a sweetheart. We animal lovers can't help ourselves when it comes to a sweet ball of fur. I know in time I will let another one in my heart but it is going to be a while, that I know for sure. Thank you for caring enough to reply and you and Misty take good care of each other. 

Blessing,

Vivi