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Six months today
dutiful deb
Posted: Tuesday, November 13, 2018 11:04 AM
Joined: 1/1/2012
Posts: 1897


Today marks the 6-month anniversary of Mom's passing.  Last night I had a few teary moments, but today I feel at rest. I'm giving myself an easy morning before going to work. It seems like the time has passed quickly, yet it also seems like a long time ago. 

I have managed to put out a few Autumn and Thanksgiving decorations. My husband is still having some memory problems along with difficulty performing or completing tasks, among other things. He developed a cough and cold, which is improving, but his overall energy level and general feeling of wellness is not where it should be. A visit to a urologist resulted in a clean bill of health in that area; the next step is a call to the PCP to follow up and seek a referral to another specialist. I am pushing for neurology, but the balance between pushing too hard and backing off when needed is a delicate balance, as I'm learning. 

A math class I'm taking to finish up my degree requirement is almost finished. I have one unit test to take this week and then a huge final that consists of about 70 questions, which I can take in increments until the term ends in early December.  I will be glad when the class is over, and I'm not a huge math fan, but it's been nice to be able to have this task that provides a challenge while not being greatly overwhelming. It might sound strange, but being able to solve a logarithm when I can't solve anything else is kind of therapeutic. 

I feel like life is moving on, yet standing still at the same time. I hope you are all doing well and that you are finding some blessings in this season of Thanksgiving. 

 


Skittles412
Posted: Tuesday, November 13, 2018 11:50 AM
Joined: 5/14/2018
Posts: 259


I'm sending you lots of love deb. I feel your pain.  Please do something nice for yourself today, you need it.  xoxoxoxo
dutiful deb
Posted: Tuesday, November 13, 2018 11:59 PM
Joined: 1/1/2012
Posts: 1897


Thank you, Kat!
lostmom2soon
Posted: Wednesday, November 14, 2018 7:37 PM
Joined: 10/30/2018
Posts: 6


prayers will be  with you
Tink4495
Posted: Wednesday, November 14, 2018 10:54 PM
Joined: 5/2/2014
Posts: 761


Sending you soft hugs, hope today was a better day.
dutiful deb
Posted: Thursday, November 15, 2018 10:19 AM
Joined: 1/1/2012
Posts: 1897


Thank you all.  I can definitely feel the prayers. 

Mom and I enjoyed getting coffee together, and as we live in an area where there is a drive-thru coffee shop on every corner, we got something just about every time we went out. Even in her last months, she enjoyed getting coffee. I'd bring her a small drink and although she did nothing more than just hold it, the words, "I brought you a coffee" were enough to light up her face.  I don't do coffee out much anymore, but this week I bought a fancy flavored holiday drink, just like I would have done with Mom.


Sheen66
Posted: Thursday, November 15, 2018 4:52 PM
Joined: 6/10/2018
Posts: 53


Today marks three months for losing my mom, Deb. 

My heart goes out to you—and your spouse. 

I feel like this support group is on this journey together, not just because of the timing of our losses. It seems we have all connected electronically and spiritually, no matter where we are physically. It’s a comfort to me. 

I am personally encouraged to know you are forging ahead. I have taken a break from my continued education and would like to get back to it. Perhaps it is an attainable goal for me down the road. 

Keep hanging in there! 

Sending hugs, Sheen


Tink4495
Posted: Thursday, November 15, 2018 11:35 PM
Joined: 5/2/2014
Posts: 761


Sheen, sending you soft hugs as well. Be kind to yourself and take as much time as you need to grieve, When the time feels right, continue that education, it will give your mind something new to focus on.
Skittles412
Posted: Friday, November 16, 2018 7:55 AM
Joined: 5/14/2018
Posts: 259


Thinking of you Sheen. Sending light and love your way.  I too am so happy that I have all of you to keep me sane on this journey of terrific loss. You all speak to me on such a real level.  I'm so fortunate to have this site and all of you to help me along.  

xoxoxoxox -Kat


MPSunshine
Posted: Wednesday, November 21, 2018 7:14 AM
Joined: 5/21/2016
Posts: 2009


Oh, dear, Debbie. You are far ahead of where I am with your putting out of decorations. This so called holiday is proving to be a proving ground of sorts. Keeping emotions together. Keeping the family together. Keeping traditions alive. So challenging, and I feel your pain. Take care. Standing next to you. We'll get through this. I'm grateful for friends like you.
Skittles412
Posted: Wednesday, November 21, 2018 7:52 AM
Joined: 5/14/2018
Posts: 259


I hear you MP, last night I was making lasagna because that is what everyone asks me to bring for Thanksgiving. No one loved it more than my mom so of course it hit me like a ton of bricks.  Water works and sadness all set in.  I will do my best to enjoy the holidays because Mom will haunt me if I don't. She really will.  When I start to cry I'm trying a new technique.  I picture my mom standing in front of me saying "Will you stop your crying already, don't be such a baby". It sometimes helps. Wishing peace for all my virtual friends <3
KML
Posted: Wednesday, November 21, 2018 11:37 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 2105


Everyone:

I hope the holidays will be easier for all of us.  It's such a mix of missing the loved ones, remembering them at this time and the way things used to be and the contrast of what our now is.  It's sad, it's happy, it's a curious mix.  People around us are bustling and we sometimes feel like we're standing still.  Take comfort in the memories, enjoy the new memories that are being created, allow yourself to feel what you are feeling and be kind to you and take care of yourselves during these times and everyday.

I miss my parents, I miss the family I used to have.  My mom would make a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner.  She'd get up early and start and I would get up and she'd have the turkey rinsed sitting on the counter with its legs crossed, made me laugh.  My family has shrunk, sister, brother-in-law do not speak to me any more, they have cut off all contact.  It used to be a happier time.

Hold on to those who love you and accept you, family, friends are precious.  Treasure your remaining relationships, weed out the ones who don't have your back.  Remember your loved ones who have past, and remember what they meant to you, what they taught you and celebrate a little something that they used to do, hold the old traditions and make some new ones to carry on.

You who care for another, in good times and hard times, are special, I wish you peace and comfort.