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still walking my own path
Posted: Monday, August 19, 2019 7:29 AM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3608

checking in to say things are interesting and read the arguments over who has what kind of dementia and got kind of sad.

Now I don't remember what I was going to say, which will be seen as a benefit to many.



Habib had a crash in his health, maybe I shared about this before, asthma, bronchitis, an infection, new diagnosis of COPD on top of his AFIB. He went to an urgent care place and was given some meds that made him scary for a few days - and he has made significant recovery and quit the meds that were making him act nuts.

I was HIS caregiver through this! I can still make food and he does all shopping.

He took over giving my dog her meds and he now is feeding both dogs, he lets me sleep when I need to and I use headphones at night to have sound not bother him. We are learning. Like Iris traveling and doing better away from home because responsibilities removed from her shoulders, having less responsibility is a huge help to me.

Neighbor let us use her washer dryer while she is gone so we did a ton of laundry over a few days. I flooded the bathroom (turned on water in sink and forgot) but the waterproof floors worked. I sopped it up with towels but the water flooded the vanity and filled the drawers and base! That warped the wood so they are damaged but hey, things happen. I forgave myself quickly!

My hip is funky but I still slow walk the dog in morning. I love having a dispensary that delivers the cbd oil, I did find by adding THC to morning oil I do not have the dread and shakes, and it helps my back pain which got worse from trying to sort the boxes shipped out here. The simple life suits me.

So glad I avoided going to neuro-psyche doctor to be put on meds to make me "happy"! We are laughing everyday, at least one big laugh over who screwed up what. We are old hippies. Never got porch floorboards fixed. I put the old couch on the covered porch and I can lay down out there, have 3 succulents in pots as a garden by back door. We never went to river even though it is .5 miles from house. I have not left house in weeks by car, only walk dog or walk to store. I learned how to cross that busy road. Have had a hot fudge sundae every night for a week as a reward, little things. 

The curtains remain in a lump on the living room floor but we figured out how to block sun on 100 degree days from outside the house. Neighbor guy is coming this evening to see if he can put up the rods,  I hung up the few pieces of art sent from my home. So it took 90 days to adjust and start to feel like this is home more.

I quit speaking to the people who were telling me I don't have ALZ but "just anxiety" or that blueberries would cure me or whatever and it helped. Mostly email and text exchanges between me and my adult children. I miss Keeper's conversations and just looking at him, cuddling with him. My house has had quite a few people go through and a couple offers, my son is handling all of it as I get emotional about it still.


a lot of people locally using cbd and cannabis for neuro diseases with success. I like having that company and support through the dispensary. I knew if I had a place to live that was EASY to navigate and relief from responsibilities I could coast through this to the end. I think I can handle whatever comes next. I don't care as much about anything, never got to paint (yet) but I do still photograph stuff 

not writing much but find a wonderful rock now and then and put it near my 3 potted plants. We have some birds coming for seed. I can watch stars at night.

Very grateful for being told to "recover from blow ups and bad days". The rules are different now. I can go in my room if Habib has friends over or is in bad mood. I love having my dog here, she has blossomed too. So at peace about my past.

My family now sees environment is more important to doing well and feeling better than being medicated into submission. They get it. I fought for the principle and against psyche meds FOR ME and I won. No more tests and scans and stuff. 

love and courage

Posted: Monday, August 19, 2019 1:52 PM
Joined: 1/28/2013
Posts: 2659

Blueberries, eh?  If only it were that easy.  LOL

Odd coincidence -- this morning I began to call my therapy horse, Blue, my big blueberry.  He is good for my emotional health.

I hope your neighbor can figure out your curtain rods.  It isn't brain surgery, other than figuring out the best way to anchor the supporting hardware to the wall or window frame.  For instance, plaster or wallboard needs different anchoring than wood.  That depends on the architecture of your house.  I have put up my share of curtain rods, shades, blinds, in my day.  Each was a challenge but doable.

A calm environment is the best thing for human beings, PWD or not.  I think your dog is happy to have a friend to play with.

Posted: Tuesday, August 20, 2019 10:27 AM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3608

neighbor spent an hour getting one set screwed into wood - then discovered too close together so redoing it tonight and putting the rest of them up. Will be done nesting by 8pm tonight!

what is weird - all the stuff I bought online 3 months ago comes into new pallette with curtains, the house is transformed into cozy! Even Habib likes the curtains so even if my opinions and judgement are iffy, this all worked. He had living room repainted terra cotta and I had no idea how to work with that, but it worked out better than I imagined.

The guy hanging curtains even said he felt the "feng shui energy open and calm" !

We are now prepared for winter. I had bought long 100" wide blackout curtains and we are using them outside on covered porch to keep porch cooler NEXT summer, so even the mistakes worked out super good. They will be on rods so can open and close with a swoosh.

Happy environment makes happy ALZ pioneer, in this case anyway!

Image preview

Posted: Tuesday, August 27, 2019 2:03 PM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3608

here is my day so far:

slept 10 hours pain free after putting memory foam mattress topper on bed yesterday

woke up stunned. where was I? Now what? Habib had coffee ready, he left for the day. find clothes, get dressed.

remember to take heart med and cbd oil 4 times before I actually do. 

slow walked dog 1/4 mile (no traffic road). watered some plants in front yard, found rocks in the dirt, rinsed rocks in pan, placed in rock collection strip by front steps. Examined rocks. Turn off hose!

dogs watch me from porch. Find half sandwich in fridge. look around house for something needs to be done.   go back to bed. almost noon.


this is a GREAT day for me. This is similar to my dad's good days. I am content, had great sleep as foam mattress pad relieved all pressure on sore bones.

My good days do not require much word recall, math, or time. If we can continue this kind of life together over winter - this is not bad at all. My daughter texted she is coming this weekend and we may go to ocean beach. Letting my mind rest, nothing I really HAVE to do or be responsible for, in an easy small house - found my ideal setting.

Habib is feeling so much better, he is gone with friends mornings or dog sitting job almost every day. Aside from me flooding the bathroom recently I can't get in much trouble. 

Start each day fresh, brain drifts around happily, almost like another way to experience world. Different than the "working" brain.  I sweep walkway and end up studying shells I find in dirt. Low expectations and finally, easy living for awhile! If someone watches me they may think, "poor thing" or whatever but it is very pleasant to be lost in observing succulent leaves, bird feathers, spider webs, cloud formations, stars...

Habib's friends are now looking me in the eye and relaxed around me. I give them space, one guy said he was deeply calmed by the light filtered through the pale blue floral curtains.  

We have a home, dogs are happy, hope this helps others create their easy living environment and not give up on finding contentment or learning new hobbies and opening to living in a new way.

love and courage

Posted: Tuesday, August 27, 2019 5:43 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 21305

My favorite sentence? Turn off hose!

When we had house guests in New Mexico we had them find a rock and paint it. It is delightful to look at them on the book shelved along side the books, in front of books and on top of books.

Jo C.
Posted: Tuesday, August 27, 2019 11:56 PM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 13681

Oh; dearest alz+.  This is a truly delightful Post to read.  I am SO happy for this gift of new life to have come to you.  The universe is smiling!  I find myself wishing we could see your new curtains that were just hung as well as your porch. 

Happy days in having no snow or ice this winter; the last one in the U.P. in Michigan was so hard on you.  My old U.P. home town had over 320 inches of snow last winter.  Sweet dog sounds as though she too may be smiling at her new home and new friends with the other dog and Mr. H.  And a doggie door!   Whoopie!  It is also good to hear that Mr. H. is feeling better.

The trip to the ocean sounds great, your daughter is a gem; may that day be a good time together.  Your room and bed sound oh so cozy and comfortable, it must feel really good. 

Warmest of thoughts being sent your way and say hello to Mr. H. for us too,


Posted: Wednesday, August 28, 2019 9:04 AM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3608

jfkoc wrote:

My favorite sentence? Turn off hose!

When we had house guests in New Mexico we had them find a rock and paint it. It is delightful to look at them on the book shelved along side the books, in front of books and on top of books.

painting + rocks -
great idea! and I have PAINTS and I have rocks. 

i didn't convey what I wanted about the burden of cognitive losses being lightened by being able to go free range. the illness is weird, but is it awful? does it deserve its reputation? we all die of something, my guess is half of us die of something other than ALZ, so if you can figure out how to work around it and with it, not so tragic.

I am not even sure we LOSE our memories since they come back at end of life or during other events. We might not be able to drag memories out quickly, or find the speech to convey our thoughts, but we are not empty vessels.

I don't even have a dresser, everything cut back like a pruned tree. Wondering if the ALZ brain changes enabled me to recover my self, ptsd out of body stuff ended, flooded with understanding for my Mother who had horrible problems mentally and tried to pass them off onto me. Healed of a lifetime of dealing with that - OVER.

had a problem of never forgetting, haunted by bad memories - either the part that stores them evaporated, prayers were answered, a healing took hold ... don't know how or why but what a relief!

I have Keeper's photo by my bed, I try to keep it to myself as I hope he is doing a lot better without me. We were lucky to have had the years we did.

TIP: coconut ice cream! not from cream, made from coconut, add hot fudge = health food!

finding all the KUSH strains of cannabis relieve the shakes/fear/trembling.