RSS Feed Print
3 years and 2 months
Posted: Sunday, November 15, 2020 3:06 PM
Joined: 2/2/2014
Posts: 6262

DW has been in memory care now for over three years. The first year she had some memory of me. After that faded she at least knew me as the cookie man. Then by Summer of 2019 There was no recognition,....  nothing.  The lady I visited  was 67, as lovely as ever, but was not DW.
The shell of DW  is safe and they take good care of her.  I baked apples and brownies and took them in. I will make more Key Lime pie.  She likes it, I watch her eat it it on FaceTime.   She is not suffering in any way.  Covid has given me a lot of time at home.  I have 5 grandchildren.  one has a genetic disability.  I support my children and grandchildren with everything I can, even though I don't touch them.   She would want that, it was the last serious discussion we had. 
I feel I am drifting. I am not her personal caretaker, but I have made only halting steps towards creating a new life.  I can do nothing more for her than I am doing now.   The pain never stops .

Posted: Sunday, November 15, 2020 3:18 PM
Joined: 12/21/2018
Posts: 834

Dear Crushed.

I am so sorry for your pain. You continue to do what you can by ensuring your dear wife is well cared for and that your family is supported. 

Please take comfort in knowing that you and your wife have shared a love story that most people never realize. 

I am sending you hugs dear friend. Please take care.


Posted: Sunday, November 15, 2020 3:49 PM
Joined: 2/14/2014
Posts: 58

Crushed, you ARE in pain! Knowing your wife is in a "good place" is great, HOWEVER she is still alive and so are you. Know you are loved and keep yourself busy with your other loved ones. 

I think it's true...the price for love is pain.      At least in our world...

It's okay to grieve and show it, especially here. You are not alone!


Joe C.
Posted: Sunday, November 15, 2020 4:08 PM
Joined: 10/13/2019
Posts: 546

Crushed, This is indeed a long hard road to travel but your ongoing commitment to your DW speaks to the love you have for her. I hope you can find some peace in knowing you are doing all you can.
Posted: Sunday, November 15, 2020 7:15 PM
Joined: 6/12/2016
Posts: 1462

Crushed, I'm sad for you both. I think of you often. I wish I had magic words to make it all better for you.