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Christmas 2010..
Posted: Friday, December 25, 2020 7:51 AM
Joined: 11/4/2014
Posts: 394

 In the days leading up to Christmas 2010. DW was feeling a little "off her game "...Her boss let her take some holidays and return in the New Year. I had noticed a few things with her memory, and general well being. We just put it down to Christmas , with all the hoopla and throw in,  the accompanying stress.

January 31 2011 ...Was the day of inconsolable tears ..I'll never know what  exactly brought this on . I believe she made a mistake , or something embarrassed her at work? After the tears dried up a bit , she told me she was never returning to the job she loved and excelled at. ??? 

DW was 6 days away from her 55th birthday. With 37 plus years of service , we figured "take the reduced early pension " We didn't, on the chance she might change her mind ?? ( I had  accepted a package 2 years earlier ) 

With kids educated, married and off on their own ..Lets go have a good time . Or so we planned. ??

November 2011;  The Neurologist sits us down and proceeds to tell us   "After extensive testing MRI, cognitive testing etc, etc the  diagnosis 95 percent chance  Non familial younger onset Alzheimers .."

February 13 2017, 8 days past her 61st birthday ..with DW firmly in stage 6... I could no longer care for her at home.

Christmas 2020 ;...DW has been in stage 7 for 18 months now...Palliative care for the past 5 months. She breathes on her own, she struggles with eating, drinking swallowing .. Completely immobile  Her weight is below 110 lbs ..DW sleeps 10 15 hours ..,On two occasions the family has been told we are down to days .

Providing I can provide a negative test, (within 7 days) and agree to wear full PPE..I am allowed to visit with an appointment.

On February 5th 2021 ..DW may see her 65th birthday ..??

On another note..I received a letter from her employer , earlier this week.

Dear .....C....

   Our records show that your eligibility for Long Term Disability benefits will expire in February 2021. We will be sending you the retirement papers  Please contact H.R. and we wish you a long and happy retirement .

Life goes on ..

   Merry Christmas to all



Posted: Friday, December 25, 2020 8:05 AM
Joined: 2/2/2014
Posts: 6145

Christmas 1972  I ask 20 year old DW to marry me . She says yes. 

Christmas  1975  We've been married six months. I drive her to the hospital for her shift as a duty med student.

Christmas  1977   I celebrate with my very personal physician in the house we just bought from my parents

Christmas 1983    We have a brand new baby daughter for Christmas

Christmas   1985    Second daughter 

Christmas 1991     Christmas in Kenya with kids and animals and a tiny tree. 

Christmas   1997   Family scuba diving in Egypt 

Christmas   2001    DD#1 comes home for University for Christmas

Christmas  2007      First SIL expands family 

Christmas   2010     Second SIL    DW diagnosed with MCI amnesiac type

Christmas 2012       EOAD     Diagnosis

Christmas  2017       DW in Memory care

Christmas 2020        First Christmas away from DW since 1972



Posted: Friday, December 25, 2020 10:03 AM
Joined: 10/16/2020
Posts: 49

Oh, Mike.  I think I can hear you screaming at her employer's letter. I am so sorry for all the loss you have been experiencing for the last 10 years.
Posted: Friday, December 25, 2020 2:29 PM
Joined: 9/21/2017
Posts: 705

 Very sad to hear this.
 This is cold but there is that phrase "cold hard cash", if you don't think your wife will make it to her birthday and you would then lose your spousal option to her pension  , see if she  can opt for "early retirement" before then with you getting a spousal benefit off of it .  Hate for you to lose it on top of everything.
 Wish you peace.

Posted: Friday, December 25, 2020 5:17 PM
Joined: 4/2/2018
Posts: 3823

Mike, I'm sorry it has to be so darn hard. Just remember that we're here for you whenever you need us.
Posted: Saturday, December 26, 2020 9:43 AM
Joined: 6/12/2016
Posts: 1375

Mike, I'm sad for you both. Please check into Victoria's suggestion. Like Ed said, we are here for you.