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vision changes
Posted: Wednesday, December 30, 2020 9:57 AM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3608

The next weird symptom is seeing things that are not what anyone else is seeing.

Been trying to find a way to describe this but this is best I can do:

I look at an image and struggle to put the puzzle pieces together. If I relax and let my gaze soften the pieces reform into what it actually is.

It feels like my brain is processing confused pieces and offering up old images as suggestions. Like I seeing 3 rabbits, waiting, the image reforms into a cat in a flower bed.

Because no one asks us (as far as I know) what is it like to think with brain malfunction, what is it like to "not recognize" things. Always hoped researchers would invite us to process information in front of them and take notes on what is going on, how we experience life with dementia telescope.

My brain is trying so hard to keep up. It substitutes old images when my eyes/brain reader is not working. Losing things is another example. I look for key to mailbox, can not find it. So I look for a banana and there are the keys, where I have looked 8 times before. To me it is my brain carries image of keys and then erases that preformed image from where I look. They will show up when I stop my brain from using an image of the keys to find them.

Seems this would show a researcher how my brain is working and how to game it.


My daughter is visiting, had a small surgery she helped me recover. 

My life helper ex-husband Habib is now having bigger problems with his cognition and we are helping each other more all the time. He wakes up and does not know where he is some days and I have taught him to let that be ok, to stay in bed and relax, call the dog in, let it happen. He says it works, avoids the panic stage. 

He learned to not point out my struggles as they are happening. Knowing he can text me when something weird is going on makes me feel useful and vice versa. I tell him we are seeking simplicity, to be kind to changing brain  perceptions. 

waiting for vaccines to come to our county - wishing all a happy enough new year

love and courage

Posted: Thursday, December 31, 2020 12:09 PM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3608

visual distortions like jig saw puzzle pieces.

Visual changes may be brain trying different things, not hallucinations which end up with person on anti psychotics. 

I still believe the body is always on our side so being kind to my brain as it figures things out has only required me to be patient and observe for the puzzle pieces to fit together over time.

Thoughts finish days later. I wish I could describe things better - my hope is others will pause in their despairing moments and observe, learn what our body wants or needs.

my online yoga practice has helped me appreciate things as they are and to be kind to my body. It also helped me learn to just Be With a struggle. My posture improved, I am somewhat stronger.  My mind is definitely more calm and cogent after 20 minutes of slow yoga.

free online