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Advanced stages go this quickly?
Slv
Posted: Saturday, May 29, 2021 8:50 PM
Joined: 5/29/2021
Posts: 3


Just lost my precious Dad. 7 years Alzheimers and was progressing.  Needed help with dressing, gait getting unsteady , but still talking and feeding self. Wanted to just be on couch a lot. Was absolute sudden when drooling and couldn’t swallow. Speech slurred when asked to repeat sentence. Thought was stroke but hospital said no stroke . Got weaker over 5 days and moved to hospice and passed away in 2 days. Totally unexpected that this would happen like this . Thought would be more progressive ,  has anyone experienced it this way ?  I am so heartbroken it all went this way. I miss him so much and replay everything if I should have done something different or did I miss something that would have changed this outcome?
TessC
Posted: Monday, May 31, 2021 3:15 PM
Joined: 4/1/2014
Posts: 5199


I am sorry for the loss of your dear father, Slv. It is not easy to lose a parent whether it is fast or slow. I'm sorry you did not have more time with your father.

 I have lost both, one pretty fast (stroke) the other very slowly. My mother lived with me for 15 years and my husband and I took care of her till the very end. It was traumatic and very hard for us and we sacrificed a lot, but felt we did the right thing keeping her with us. Your father was spared a lot of suffering and indignities and though we never want our parents to die, God chooses the time and we have no control. Nothing you did caused him to become ill, and nothing you did or didn't do caused him to die. He was loved and that is what matters. He knows that now more than ever.

You are early in the grieving process so be gentle with yourself and heal in your own time. Come here often to share memories and we will cry and rejoice with you. Take good care!


Slv
Posted: Monday, May 31, 2021 9:01 PM
Joined: 5/29/2021
Posts: 3


Thank you TessC for your kind and sweet words..... words I needed tonight.
TessC
Posted: Monday, June 7, 2021 2:22 PM
Joined: 4/1/2014
Posts: 5199


How are you doing, Slv? Has your father's funeral been preformed yet? We had the most bitterly cold, rainy day for my mother's but it was till good to see her friends and family gathered to celebrate her life.  I'll never forget the kind people who showed up! Sending hugs and blessing your way.
Slv
Posted: Sunday, June 20, 2021 8:12 AM
Joined: 5/29/2021
Posts: 3


Yes, same here. Seeing old friends and family and feeling the love and appreciation for a life well lived meant so much . He had a veterans ceremony also that brought such proud tears. Thank you so much for checking up on me , It means a lot!
Sunshine days
Posted: Sunday, July 4, 2021 7:45 PM
Joined: 4/9/2015
Posts: 96


Dear Slv,

What you wrote is so similar to what happened to my sweet mama who passed away just last Sunday....she had dementia for almost 10 years but progressed very slowly up until about 6 months ago when she began having more difficulty with communication and thought processes and began to fall frequently. I moved her to a Memory Care facility in February after a series of falls landed her in the ER 3 times in 10 days. She was never the same but still seemed stable physically speaking, though rapidly declining mentally. There was yet another fall on a Monday, which resulted in a fractured ankle. Within 2 days she was transitioning to actively dying and was put on morphine so was basically unable to speak or respond much to us. She passed away 6 days after the fall. I am still reeling from it and ask myself the same questions you are, but deep down I know I did everything I could and gave her the best quality of life I could under the awful circumstances we were dealing with. My heart is broken and I miss her terribly. I will pray for you, I know how extremely difficult this is. God Bless.


KawKaw
Posted: Monday, July 12, 2021 9:58 AM
Joined: 11/22/2019
Posts: 402


Siv,

I grieve with you.

My mother galloped through the later stages, but was still able to do some thinking and was able to converse and make simple decisions at the point when she died.

It has been a few months past a year since she died. 

Be gentle with yourself.  Grief doesn't progress in a linear fashion for me.  This might be the same for you.