I've been on the regular caregiver's board, but likely should have been here.

I'm a 69-year-old man..  My Mom was 91.  I was her primary caregiver for two years.  She passed two days ago.  My heart literally hurts.  It's the dull hurt one has during extreme sadness, located just a little left of the center of the chest.  She was the most selfless and decent person I've ever known, and a very beautiful lady.  My father used to say she was so beautiful he could hardly look at her.  Both the loss of her and what the disease did to her are huirting me terribly.

I live alone.  Two of my three siblings are nearby, but were fairly uninvolved in Mom's care.

I needn't go on.  I know you know my pain.  My father died a terrible death 38 years ago.  So, I'm not entirely new to the hurt.

I told my doctor how badly I'm grieving, and asked for something that would elevate or eliminate my mood.  She prescribed buspar.  I was already taking 150 mg zoloft.  She upped that to 200 mg.  It has helped very little..  So, I began searching the Net for something that might induce euphoria.  First, I read about ketamine.  They drip it intravenously at one of the university hospitals, if a doctor decides a person needs it.  I told my one brother who is chief of pharmacy at a city hospital and my sister who is a retired RN.  They both exclaimed, "What!"

So, I've begun the process in my state of getting medical marijuana.  If any readers have experience with it, I would surely entertain your opinion. 

My teenage nephew has had a lot of trauma in his life, and has been at various times, suicidal. In desperation his parents (with my nephew's permission) did the ketamine therapy as you described (it's not a one time treatment, btw).  He's shown remarkable progress. I understand your brother and sister's response to ketamine - it was kind of my response as well. But it's helped my nephew so much, and he's under a doctor's care.

My 93 year-old uncle, who has Parkinson's, has been using medicinal marijuana for quite some time. For him, it's been about his appetite. It helped in the beginning, but he's in hospice now, so it isn't helping as much.

Those are the two examples I can speak to.  I don't know how either of those drugs work in relation to handling grief.

There have been studies on MDMA (ecstasy) and how it can help those with PTSD and several on psilocybin mushrooms which have been shown to help with depression.  I don't know anyone who has been involved in those studies, but you might ask your doctor about it.

Kind of you to reply, Gremlin.  Thank you.

I was interviewed by a local medical doctor and should be getting my approval card from the state.  Next is the dispensary where I'll sit down with a phatmacist and/or a doctor and decide what strain would be best for me, and in what form.  I'll keep the board posted.

Marty Robins,

I have a friend who suffers from anxiety and is prescribed medicinal marijuana.

He smokes it and also eats Marijuana Gummies.

I've noticed he relaxes after smoking but he reeks alot. There is a strong smell that sticks to him.

When he is eating gummies instead, there is no smell and he gets just as high.

I think a health benefit of the gummies is that he isn't inhaling anything into his lungs....

Thanks, Army Vet.  I received my medical cannabis card from the Dept of Health on Friday.  Went to the dispensary Saturday.  No gummies allowed in my state.  I settled for a tincture,  an oil in which cannabis was steeped.  Takes much longer for an effect than smoking or vaping.

I'll return to the dispensary this week sometime.  Not entirely happy with this particular product.  It's not giving me the help I wanted for the grieving process.  My mother died two weeks ago,  However, on top of the grief, I am the only who takes care of anything.  Two years since I rescued my mother from the COVID quarantine at assited living, and moved her in with me.  In 8 weeks, 7 of her AL neighnors had died from COVID.  So, as I began to say, on top of everything else, I'm pretty beat.

Has the medical cannabis helped me at all?  Yes.  Yet, I still have the heartache and sorrow in my chest.  So, I am still going through the grieving process, but the cannabis seems to prevent me from dwelling on it so much.

Try the ketamine! It saved my life! I have treatment resistant depression. I was suicidal every single day until 3 years ago. It's not like what you think. It's an IV drip. It takes between 2.5-4.5 hours. At the clinic u go to now they give you zofran for nausea, benadryl, versed. It took away my suicidal ideation. They start with a series of treatments to get you to where your stable and then there are maintenance doses which vary from patient to patient. Don't just dismiss it out of hand. I am s fully functioning person now who for the first time in her life actually is happy. No social ideation. No self harm.