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I miss having a cat
Stunned805
Posted: Friday, August 23, 2019 11:53 PM
Joined: 9/8/2018
Posts: 151


I know that sounds inconsequential and selfish, but I have had a cat or more all my life. My last cat died June 8th. So far I have not pursued having another because hubby and I yell at each other a lot and it would scare any animal we would get. I really want to get at least one or two. I have been feeding a neighbor's cat (not sure if they are taking care of him, too). That has been filling the void somewhat.
lvcatlvr
Posted: Saturday, August 24, 2019 12:13 AM
Joined: 5/7/2018
Posts: 149


I  have six indoor cats. Four were adopted by me. Two showed up abandoned. I also care for two feral cats that I TNR'd. They live in my yard and sleep in my garage. If I didn't have my cats, I would be lost. They are so comforting. I truly believe cats are empaths because they seem to know when I need a cat on my lap. One time my husband was having a delusion that I was a stranger. It was late at night, and he was trying to kick me out at 3am. I ended up calling the police because he was getting scary and threatening. The EMT's also came because this was unusual behavior (at the time--we have since had more incidents which led to anti psychotics). I was sitting at the kitchen table while the EMT's were trying to calm my DH down and convince him to go with them (I didn't have a POA at the time). Anyway, the point of telling this is that one of the EMT's looked over and said, "Look at that. All of her cats are surrounding her in a circle of protection." It's true. I was so upset I hadn't noticed, but they were all around me. They seemed to know I needed their help. If your DH isn't violent toward animals, I would get two cats. I always think they need to have a buddy. Kittens are a lot of work, but there are always older cats that are bonded and need a home because they were surrendered or their owner passed. But kittens are very amusing. I just think that a kitten might be too much with what you are dealing with as far as having a spouse with a disease.But definitely get a cat or two. So many are out there needing homes.
abc123
Posted: Saturday, August 24, 2019 1:23 AM
Joined: 6/12/2016
Posts: 528


Hi Ivcat- if your husband won’t harm them physically I think you should get two cats. There’s a chance the cats may calm him. Good luck!
Ed1937
Posted: Saturday, August 24, 2019 2:38 AM
Joined: 4/2/2018
Posts: 1514


If you want to get a cat or two, definitely do it. Having an animal around is always a comfort for people who love them. And maybe it will lessen the friction between your husband and you.
ElaineD
Posted: Saturday, August 24, 2019 7:04 AM
Joined: 4/12/2019
Posts: 142


Get a cat or two.  Cats are survivors and will handle yelling.  They handle kids, for example, who often yell, and babies who cry.

The comfort and joy cats bring us is indescribable.   And there are so many cats who need a home.  

Regards, ElaineD


Crushed
Posted: Saturday, August 24, 2019 7:30 AM
Joined: 2/2/2014
Posts: 4675


Cats are tough.  They pay no attention to  squabbles among the servant class 

Image result for cat cartoons


LizzieC
Posted: Saturday, August 24, 2019 8:06 AM
Joined: 3/28/2018
Posts: 230


Stunned,

It is not inconsequential or selfish of you to want another cat.  We adopted our last cat from the local rescue shelter.  I told them that I did not want a kitten and that I wanted a cat that was not hyper.  We ended up adopting a 7 year old calico and she lived for another 10 years.  It has been about 3 years since she has passed and I do miss having the "ruler" of the household around.  As Crushed said, she paid "no attention to squabbles among the servant class".

P.S. You mentioned that you are feeding your neighbor's cat. It might be that they would like to surrender the cat to you because they can't (or don't want to) care for it anymore. 


Paul&Me
Posted: Saturday, August 24, 2019 9:27 AM
Joined: 1/21/2017
Posts: 117


My husband was a firm dog lover, simply tolerated cats. When we moved to this house we agreed to get a cat because of the mouse problem. Two days after our kitten came home, he suggested we go back and see if the other kitten was still available. That one became "his" cat. He has an amazed look on his face as he pets his cat and lists all the ways having cats is wonderful. I know for a fact that having her in his lap, and being able to let her out the door or in the door gives him more purpose in life.

You may want to foster homeless cats. Our local shelter looks for foster situations where the animal can live with a family until adopted, and not in a cage.

I agree with another poster, our grandchildren don't come often and the cats disappear when they come. The kids aren't loud, just unfamiliar, and even I can't find the hiding places where the cats spend the time.


Crushed
Posted: Saturday, August 24, 2019 12:33 PM
Joined: 2/2/2014
Posts: 4675


Paul&Me wrote:

 I can't find the hiding places where the cats spend the time.



Mrs. O
Posted: Sunday, August 25, 2019 2:34 AM
Joined: 8/1/2017
Posts: 298


My cat does display discomfort when either my DH or I become emotional or loud. But it serves as a reminder to me to calm down. He’s a good barometer for the tension in the room. Plus, DH loves him to pieces. The kitty keeps him entertained. Sometimes I feel sorry for the cat b/c DH picks him up constantly, and carries him around. He frets when the cat is outside, and always picks him up and brings him back inside and locks him in. My cat is my hero b/c he is so patient with DH!
Crushed
Posted: Sunday, August 25, 2019 6:15 AM
Joined: 2/2/2014
Posts: 4675


Mrs. O wrote:
My cat does display discomfort when either my DH or I become emotional or loud. But it serves as a reminder to me to calm down. He’s a good barometer for the tension in the room. Plus, DH loves him to pieces. The kitty keeps him entertained. Sometimes I feel sorry for the cat b/c DH picks him up constantly, and carries him around. He frets when the cat is outside, and always picks him up and brings him back inside and locks him in. My cat is my hero b/c he is so patient with DH!



markus8174
Posted: Sunday, August 25, 2019 7:01 AM
Joined: 1/25/2018
Posts: 535


We have 3. Two older indoor girls that are still company for me and what is left of my DW, and an outside stray that we took over care of a couple of years ago. Kitty outside has been a pet, but doesn't tolerate indoors for long. When these are gone, I'll miss having a cat. The problem is I can no longer be sure of outliving the cridder. I'm afraid to risk a kitty being abandoned(yes, my children are capable of this) if I die before it does. In addition, we lost a beloved cat last year. After more money than we ever should have spent on a cat, he had to be put down when his suffering became too much to handle. My heart still breaks every time I go past his grave. I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to cope with another death when my DW is rapidly  losing ground to AD and other health problems. Indoor kitties are 15 and 18 years old, the outdoor kitty is middle aged, but garden cats don't live long. So much loss in my immediate future, I cannot imaging bonding with a new furry friend knowing I'm going to face losing him or him losing me.