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Is there anything I can do to?
Posted: Sunday, August 18, 2019 4:59 PM
Joined: 8/18/2019
Posts: 2

I placed my LO in an AL facility about 9 months ago after a diagnosis of Alzheimer's. She is mostly unhappy and angry. But, every once in a while she makes a new friend, becomes deliriously happy, developes a crush on them, has a falling out with them, and becomes despondent and angry. I suspect what is happening (although, I don't know for sure) is that she is acting on the crush and being rebuffed.
We have had many conversations about how these women are straight, and that if she is "making a move on them" it is like a straight man propositioning her when he knows she is gay. She seems to understand this at the time but then I think forgets it.  It makes me so sad when they have a falling out and she is so miserable, and so angry. I can't figure out how to help with this cycle.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
Posted: Thursday, September 19, 2019 10:06 PM
Joined: 6/12/2016
Posts: 1919

Hi Tamara. i read your profile. i’m sure you miss your friend dearly. She is fortunate to have you to care about her. Depending on how advanced her Alzheimer’s/dementia is, she just may not understand what you are telling her or she may simply be forgetting the talks you’ve had with her. I do hope you are both doing better.
Caregiver Bill
Posted: Wednesday, September 25, 2019 3:04 PM
Joined: 9/25/2019
Posts: 1

I have been caring for my Husband at home since he was diagnosed years ago. He is getting ready to leave a very nice rehabilitation facility and we are exploring options for next care in the DFW area. Slim options for a limited budget, but God is Great!
Jo C.
Posted: Tuesday, October 1, 2019 1:43 PM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 12160

Hello Bill and a very warm welcome to you.   I can see things are moving forward in your care and advocacy for your dear husband; he is blessed to have you by his side.

As you have mentioned, it really can be a challenge to find cost friendly care settings; so many of us have had that challenge.

I would like to let you know that if you would like more input from a greater number of people and perhaps even info from folks in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, please feel free to Post writings on the Spousal and Partners Forum.   This Forum is not as well attended and the Spousal/Partner Forum is, and it is also more active.  You will be welcomed with open arms.

There is also the Alzheimer's Assn. 24 Hour Helpline at (800) 272-3900.  If you make a call, please ask to be put in touch with a Care Consultant.  There are no fees for this service.  Consultants are highly educated Social Workers who specialize in dementia and family dynamics.  They are great listeners, have much information and can often assist us with our problem solving and issues.  They can transfer you to your local office which may also have information on various facilites and other services in your area. 

One thing that is so important is to have all legal paperwork done by an Elder Law Attorney; these specialists are the "go to" folks to ensure that we have covered all bases needing covering for future planning and protection for both you and your husband.

As said, we are delighted to meet you and get to know you,   We are all here in support of one another and that now includes you too!