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Very young. Progressing rapidly.
itsPhil
Posted: Tuesday, June 23, 2020 6:28 PM
Joined: 6/23/2020
Posts: 1


I have a spouse who is 55 with EOA. She can't find words, can't remember conversations that occurred moments before, and cannot be left alone for any length of time.  And it's getting worse.

She refuses to take evaluative cognitive tests. She does not see the value in tracking how quickly she is eroding away as a person. I can't blame her. We have a Neuro, and the diagnosis is official, but she doesn't want the care.

It's like being a single parent. She can't drive, do the bills or cook and plan the household like she used to.. and its killing her. I am honored to be the one to care for her, for as long as I can.

When I learned the diagnosis, i dropped everything and moved us back to our old neighborhood in Montana. I'm building a dementia safe zone for her out here, and I will do everything I can to keep her home with her dogs...who are the center of her universe.

I'm 57. I have no idea how long this will play out, but I know how it will end, and its is quite sobering.

Anyway, I hope that I can find support (here and locally) and ideas on how to make the best life for her here at home ( in Montana). I look forward to hearing your stories. If you are reading this, I'm sorry. I'm sorry any of us have to be here, and I get it. I wish you the best.


zauberflote
Posted: Wednesday, June 24, 2020 7:59 PM
Joined: 10/24/2018
Posts: 1285


Phil, if you reposted this on the Spouse/Partner part of the forum, you'd probably hear from many spouses who are or were in your shoes, and who have much wisdom. This particular board here isn't as well traveled.
David J
Posted: Friday, June 26, 2020 11:38 AM
Joined: 2/15/2020
Posts: 115


Phil-

I agree with Zauberflote. The Spouses board can be more helpful. I decided to check out this board today, so I found your post by chance.

I was/am in a similar situation. My DW was diagnosed with MCI at 52. She is now 65 in full-on AD. In her case, progression is slow.  That gave us several years to plan and enjoy each other before the inevitable. I retired three years ago to become her full time caretaker and travel a little bit while we could.

You are right that people here care, and can help in practical terms and give you an emotional boost as needed.

I am sorry you are in this situation, but it can be rewarding too. As you said it is an honor to be her caretaker. Take care and don’t be bashful if you need to vent. This is a safe zone. 

Dave


Jo C.
Posted: Friday, June 26, 2020 5:44 PM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 11210


Hello Phil and a very warm welcome to you.  I just wanted to let you know that someone has kindly initiated a Thread for you on the Spousal Forum, so you may want to go and take a look.  There are multiple spouses on that Forum who are in your same situation and also many males who are primary caregivers for their wives.  There is a lot of experiential wisdom to be found there from others who are farther along in their journey.

We are all here in support of one another and that now includes you  too.  Hope to see you on the Spousal Forum soon.

J.